CHAPTER FIFTY THREE - ADRIEL

CHAPTER FIFTY THREE - ADRIEL
Once again, she’s clinging to me. Hanging on my arm as we walk away from my family. I can feel her nails digging into me and for the first time, it feels like tentacles gnarling at my skin.

I can smell the hint of my Little Wolf, though. I can smell that she came down this corridor barely ten minutes ago. But I also know she snuck out once the meal was done.

That she probably did it to avoid talking to me. 

I let out a sigh. One of frustration.

“It’s been a long night.” Lia says.

I nod, only she has no idea how painful tonight has been. She sat beside me, her hand on my lap, as if she couldn’t bear not to touch me and the whole time my senses, my Lycan, everything was honed in on the girl at the other end of the table.

When she spoke, it was like everything else dimmed. When she smiled at my brother it was like my heart twisted in fury. And when she was talking about her family, I could see it, both the pain but also the love she has for them.

But I felt a bitterness too, my own bitterness because I want her to feel that for me. I want her to… that hollowness twists and the thought dies like a wisp of smoke in the wind.

Lia says something but I don’t hear it. My head feels fuzzy. My eyes feel like they can’t quite focus.

We’re back in our room. Lia is stripping off her dress so seductively and I know what she wants, what she’s going to ask, what she always asks.

I step back, walking into the bathroom and lock the door. 

I need to get my shit together. I need to sort whatever this is out because I’m hurting them both. Hurting Maricela and Lia.

“Adriel?” She calls. Her voice is so close I know she’s stood the other side of the door. 

I want to open it, a part of me is desperate to. I want to rip it off its hinges, look at Lia, and finally see that she is my mate. That none of this curse exists anymore. That everything is sorted and this guilt, this deep festering hate that is starting to manifest in my heart is gone. 

Only, I know that’s not what will happen. I know if I open that door, she’ll be there with sad eyes and expectations. She’ll want me to fuck her, to prove that a whole evening spent with Maricela means nothing to me. 

And I can’t do it. I can’t even look at her right now. 

I kick my shoes off, toss my t-shirt and wrench the window open. Before I can reconsider it, I’m climbing out, scaling the damned walls to get away from the woman who I should want more than anything else.

When my feet hit the ground, I contemplate transforming, letting my Lycan out. But I know what will happen if I do. I know I will race through the house and do something unforgiveable, and in a way I will betray both of them.

So instead, I force myself to walk. To breathe. To try to calm my head.

I used to run through these gardens as a child. Ryker and I would chase our younger siblings, terrorise them because we were so much older. So much faster too. 

My footsteps are silent. The grass feels damp under my bare feet. 

I lean back into the trunk of an old oak. 

And just as I do, I realise she’s here. Somehow, she’s in this space too. 

I can smell her on the air now. I can practically feel the softness of her hair as the moonlight catches it.

She lets out a sigh. One of sadness. And just as I try to come up with something, anything to say, her head spins, like she just caught my scent and her whole body reacts.

She steps back, her chest rising, her face already contorting into shock and panic - and worst of all fear. 

“I’m not going to hurt you.” I murmur.

She looks around but the place is deserted. “Why are you here?” She whispers like she’s afraid of her own voice.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

She drops her gaze, like I’ve revealed some intimate secret and she doesn’t know what to do with it. 

“And you?” I ask pushing off the oak, taking one step, and then another towards her, doing everything I can to hold back, to keep from launching myself at her and devouring every inch. 

She gulps, stepping back, looking up at me as I tower over her. Gods, she’s so small. Like a little pocket rocket, all fire and brimstone. She’s putting on weight now. I could see it earlier too but she looks so much healthier. Only, she’s definitely not happier. 

“Let me touch you,” I murmur before I can stop myself. 

She shakes her head. 

“Not like that, just let me feel what your skin is like against mine.” I practically plead.

“No.” She says. 

I feel my anger flare. No one says no to me, no one ever denies me and yet this tiny Wolf dares to? This girl who claims to be my mate? 

I grab her, pinning her up against a tree. Running my face over hers, groaning because I can practically taste her on my tongue. She’s still in that tight little dress she wore, and I can feel every delectable curve of her body as I grind against her.

“Adriel,” She whispers it. Gasps it.

My body reacts, my dick gets so hard. “Say it again.” I growl. “Say my name.”

She whimpers and I push into her that little bit more. I want her to feel what’s she doing to me. I want her to feel how much I want, no, need her in this moment. 

“Adriel.” She whimpers. 

My lips curl. Hearing it, hearing my name come from her lips is like the most incredible sound.

But as I meet her eyes I freeze. She’s not aroused right now. She’s utterly petrified. 

I want to let her go. I want to do the decent thing and give her some space and yet as my hand is wrapped around her body I can’t. I refuse to. I can feel her heart beating, fluttering so wildly in her chest. I can feel her body trembling with her obvious want to escape me. 

“What are you doing to me?” I groan. 

“I’m not…” She looks away. Like she’s ashamed of this, ashamed of us. 

I snarl, grabbing her face, forcing her to look back at me and a wave of emotion floods through my body at our skin to skin contact. 

“You make me do things that…” I don’t want to admit it and yet I’m so close to just ripping her dress off right now and taking her the way I’ve imagined so many times.