Chapter 74 Searching for Purpose
They were on a stretch of road Alexandra had seen before. It was somewhere near where she had turned off the main road on her way to Glendale. Was it a year ago or a lifetime ago that she had made that fateful turn? She suddenly thought of Evan again. Would Evan have treated her the way that RJ had? Was their relationship nothing more than two lonely people who had been forced together for a time and found comfort in each other’s arms? She had heard somewhere that people are in your life for a time, a season, or a reason. Was that how it went? She couldn’t remember for sure.
“What are you thinking about?” Evelyn broke into her thoughts. “You got pretty far away for a minute.”
“Actually, I was thinking of some poem I heard once,” she replied. “Something about a time, a season, or a reason.”
“Do you mean: A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime?” Evelyn asked.
“Yeah,” she said. “I think that’s it.”
“What brought that on?”
“I was just thinking about all I’ve been through in the last year,” Alexandra replied. “Trying to make sense out of it.”
“Been there and done that,” Evelyn said. “So, I’m going to take a stab at it, because we are in Colorado, you’re thinking about your Colorado cowboy?”
“Yeah,” she said. “I’ve been down this road before.”
“Haven’t we all,” Evelyn replied.
“No, I mean, literally,” she replied. “I was driving down this road and made a turn onto a road that I thought would be a shortcut right along here somewhere. You know, my entire life changed because of that wrong turn. I just wonder what it meant or means. There was a reason that I made that turn. There was a reason Cameron turned away. There was a reason for RJ. There was a reason for meeting you. Cameron and RJ were certainly not lifetime things… Were they just seasons?”
“You’ll drive yourself crazy trying to figure those things out,” Evelyn interrupted. “You’re better off just taking what you learned from it and moving on. You know, kind of like you did last spring when you were angry at me and used that to get back in the saddle. This is one of those times.”
“Do you mean start dating again?”
“Heavens no,” Evelyn replied. “I mean, get back in the saddle of where your life is going and what you want it to be. It is never too late to go after your dreams.”
“That’s just the thing,” she answered. “I’m not sure what my dreams are. They got cloudy somehow. I know that I want to be with horses always. I know that I love the wide open free spaces of the mountains, but where else do I go from there?”
“I don’t know,” Evelyn answered honestly. “But you’ll figure it out. You’ve come this far, and we have several more months left in the season and the finals to think about right now. You really are good luck to me. Not really luck, but you encourage me and keep me focused somehow. I hope you’ll stick it out; this season means the world to me.”
“I ain't goin’ nowhere,” she replied, giggling. She had never spoken that phrase before, but discovered that the total destruction of the English language wasn’t all that bad.
Evelyn had ridden well and was two full seconds in the lead. It was a smaller rodeo, and the prize money wasn’t a significant amount. Still, it was on the way to another bigger rodeo, and Evelyn decided that the little extra cash, even from a smaller rodeo, wouldn’t hurt her standings. They had come into Monte Vista, Colorado, set themselves up in a motel, and settled in for the week.
“Hey,” Evelyn said as she approached and sat down beside her on the bleachers. She had two bags of popcorn and two Dr Peppers. She handed a bag and a drink to Alexandra. “What did I miss?”
“Not much,” Alexandra replied. “The same entertainment act that we’ve seen twenty-seven times already.”
“Twenty-seven? Did you actually count them?” She teased. “I wonder if they get as tired of doing it as we do of watching it?”
“They would have to,” Alexandra replied. “They probably just have to suck it up and do it anyway.”
“Yeah,” Evelyn said. “Why does everything always have to go back to that one grim reality? Kind of sucks, actually.”
“You’re telling me,” Alexandra answered. “Do you ever get tired of doing the same old thing?”
“All the time,” she replied. “But I’ve gotten used to it. After a while, you just look for the new little things. Sometimes they are there and sometimes they aren’t. When there is nothing new to find, that’s when it really sucks and you just grit your teeth, keep your eye focused on the bigger picture, and keep going.”
“You are so wise, Old One,” Alexandra teased.
“Watch who you’re calling old,” Evelyn said. “Bull riding is about to start. You still have your grudge going?”
“Yes,” Alexandra said.
“You know that ain't good for you, right?”
“A lot of things ain’t good for me,” Alexandra said. She considered how she was carrying her grudge for only a moment and then decided that she was entitled to it. Something evil suddenly struck her. She might as well enjoy her grudge. “Let’s do something different this time.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Let’s have a little wager, just to make it fun,” Alexandra said.
“Make your grudge fun?” Evelyn said. “I’m not following you.”
“Let’s bet on RJ’s buck off time,” Alexandra said.
“You are cruel and heartless,” Evelyn laughed. “But you’re on. You go first.”
“I say that he’ll buck off before 5 seconds,” she said.
“That doesn’t leave me a lot of room,” Evelyn said. She considered for a moment. “I say that he goes the full 8 seconds.”
“You’re no fun,” Alexandra replied.
“I know,” she answered. “I just want to be the devil’s advocate in this one. So what’s the wager?”
“Loser buys dinner tonight,” Alexandra replied.
“Sound good,” she said. “When does he ride?”
Alexandra scanned the program. “They have him going fifth.”