Chapter 30 Hungry and wild
Ira's POV
The first thing I notice is the way his eyes drop. Slowly. Deliberately. Like he wants to drag the moment out and make me feel every second of it.
His stare glides from my eyes to my mouth as if pulled by an elastic string. My heartbeat spikes as the air thickens.
“I want them,” he says.
“What…?” The word barely leaves me.
He presses nearer, his attention staying locked on my lips. Hungry and wild.
“Please don’t.” A small, panicked whisper slips out of me.
Something changes in him. It is not loud. It is not obvious. And although it’s only a flicker, Ruel freezes.
His chest rises but does not fall. His eyes stop drifting and hold mine with a sharp look of strain.
For a moment… he leans back just a little. Not enough to break the tension choking us, but enough that I feel the cool air finally touch my skin again.
Is he fighting something? Someone? Himself?
I do not know. I only know my breath shakes with too many things at once. Relief battles with fear. Confusion twists with something warmer and far more fearful.
I need... I need space.
“Ruel…” My voice feels too small. I'm not even sure what I'm about to say, if I can even get a word past my heavy breathing.
But before either of us can say more, the door slams inward with a violent force.
I jump so hard my shoulder slams into the wall.
Elric bursts in, his breath uneven, chest rising and falling as if he ran his way through several rooms to get here. His eyes sweep the scene.
Ruel is standing too close. He has me trapped in the corner with nowhere to go.
“Ruel,” he mutter in disbelief, “Come on, let her go.”
Ruel does nothing. Not a blink. Not a twitch. His attention stays locked on my mouth, rigid and unbroken, as if the world around us has vanished.
Elric steps forward, his steps swift and bold. “Krist?”
Something snaps inside Ruel at the sound of that name.
He rolls his eyes. Actually rolls them, slow and irritated. The sharp brightness in them fades. The tension in his shoulders loosens and then he steps back. He takes only only step, but it feels like a gigantic door swinging open.
Pushing myself off the wall, air floods into my chest giving me immense relief.
Even though my legs wobble beneath me, clumsy and unsure, I stumble toward Elric and grab his sleeve because my fingers refuse to stop trembling and I need something that isn’t spinning.
“Stay here,” Elric tells Ruel. He doesn’t even turn to look at him. “I will keep her safe.”
Ruel’s voice cuts through the room. “You do not command me.”
Elric gently pries my grip off his arm. Ruel watches the motion, silent and dangerous, every inch of him coiled.
“Then be quick,” Ruel says under his breath.
I don’t look back. I can’t. My body pulses too hard. Elric pulls me out of the room, and only when the door closes behind us… locking Ruel in… do my lungs finally get relieved.
But my heartbeat refuses.
Ruel? Krist? Whatever that was....whatever almost happened... It feasts on my thoughts with sharp teeth.
“He is a liar,” I say, my voice coming out shaky. “He was about to…”
“That was not Ruel,” Elric cuts in.
I snap toward him so fast my head throbs. Do you think I cannot see?
“That was Krist,” he says, calmly. “His wolf. He gave him too much freedom today. When that happens, Ruel struggles to pull him back.”
I stare at him. “What does that even mean?”
Elric doesn’t answer, proving my initial thought right…
He hadn't meant for me to hear that.
His expression stays unreadable. And then he signals a guard with a slight nod. “Take her to the space we prepared.” he says.
The guard steps forward as Elric walks away.
What's with everyone and ignoring my questions?
As if I did not nearly lose everything in that room. As if I am supposed to understand the chaos he just dropped at my feet. As if the fear scraping through me is something ordinary.
I swallow down the tightness in my throat and follow the guard because my feet move on their own, even though my mind is stuck back in that room, replaying every second.
The heat, panic, shame, confusion…
And something far worse than any of those.
Because once the cold air settles around me… Once the hallway grows quiet enough for my thoughts to crawl back in…
I feel it.
Something blooming inside me that shouldn’t exist. My pulse isn’t pounding from fear anymore.
The tremble in my hands isn’t panic.
The warmth under my skin isn’t terror.
It’s something wrong. Something I don’t want to name. Something that shouldn’t be tied to what just happened.
What is wrong with me? Why wasn’t I only afraid? Why did something else rise in my chest when he was close?
My mind must have broken completely.
Thoughts swirl in my head endlessly until the guard in front of me stops suddenly.
Before I can ask why, loud shouts burst from the other end of the hall.
“How dare you hit a guard!” Someone in uniform barks, pushing a defenseless servant to the ground.
I stiffen, my gaze zeroing in on the groaning woman that had just been flung.
She slides across the floor, her knees scraping the stone.
“Who do you think you are?” The guard drags her by a fistful of her hair. Her neck jerks backward from how tightly he holds her.
“Move,” the guard barks.
The servant spits on the ground instead.
The guard’s jaw locks and he slaps her so hard that her head snaps to the side.
I flinch, watching them drag her away.
My throat tightens again as I'm reminded of my place in this base. A servant without a fair say or defense.
When the man leading me continues ahead, I force my legs to move, each step feeling heavier than the last.