Chapter 79 Part 79
Asher
He pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed a number. Too many memories flitted through his mind as the line rang.
“Hey, Asher.”
“How are you holding up, Mark?”
“Polly has me talking to a shrink,” he said, and chuckled.
“That’s good.” Asher’s mind went to Mark’s funeral, the one he had imagined. The pain still felt real, even if it never happened.
“I have to admit, in the beginning, it felt like a load of crap, but the guy makes sense, and I feel better. The nightmares have improved, as well.”
“Don’t stop, Mark. Polly needs you.”
“Yeah, I know. I’ll do whatever it takes to get better. I love her too much to leave her here alone,” he said.
“Listen, did we have a Conroy on our team or at the camp?”
“Conroy?” Mark was quiet for a bit, and then Asher could hear him take a breath. “Yeah. PFC Josh Conroy. He was at the base camp with us for about 7 weeks. On his last night, he showed us a picture of his pregnant wife.”
“His last night? Did he ship out?”
“Yeah, he was deployed to another unit. Why are you asking about him? You barely gave him the time of day.”
“That was almost seven months ago,” Asher said.
“Yeah, sounds right. He was a weird guy, a little off, if you ask me.”
“Was his wife’s name Maggie? Can you remember?”
“Yeah, it was. Asher, what the hell’s going on?”
“Do you know where he was from?”
“I think he said New Haywood…Asher?”
His heart was hammering in his chest, and it felt like he couldn’t breathe. She was real. She existed. “I have to go.”
Asher sped back to Two Bear Meadow, his heart thumping hard against his ribs the whole way. The dust hung in the still air for a few minutes after Asher had sped down the dirt road.
Inside his house, he opened his laptop, and powered it on. He waited for the welcome screen to show, quickly typing in his password. He opened the search engine, entering her name in the allotted area.
His finger hovered over the ‘enter’ button, but he took a deep breath and pressed it. He frowned as he looked at the results. Most of the links were to social media sites, none of which he had, so he closed the laptop.
A knock on his front door startled him. He stood up, opened the door, and almost sighed audibly. Lorelei stood there with a casserole in her hands.
“Hi,” she said, softly.
“What are you doing here?”
“We need to talk. You owe me that much, at least, Asher.”
“I know,” he said, and stood to the side so she could walk past him. He followed her through to the kitchen, where she placed the dish on the counter.
“Have you eaten?”
“I’m fine, Lore. I eat at the main house every night.” Asher sat down at the kitchen table, and he felt an infinite sadness when he looked at her. There was a time when he loved her so fiercely that he couldn’t have imagined his life without her. He didn’t know when that feeling had gone away, or if it was Maggie’s presence in his mind that overshadowed hers.
“It’s eggplant and meatball, your favorite,” Lorelei said, sitting down opposite him.
“I’ll eat it tonight, I promise,” he said. “Thank you.”
“I’m hurt, Asher, and more than a little confused. I don’t understand what I did wrong.”
It wasn’t fair; he knew it wasn’t, but he couldn’t help how he felt. “It’s not you, it’s me.” Lorelei gave him a look, but didn’t say anything. “Things happened over there—things I can’t talk about. When I saw you there at the bus stop, it just dawned on me. We’re so used to each other…I don’t think we’ve felt that spark for a long time.”
“Maybe we haven’t, but isn’t that what happens after ten years? We’re comfortable with each other because of our bond.”
“Lore, be honest with yourself. There hasn’t been a spark for a few years. We’d try harder, get married, and then be unhappy. One of us would cheat, out of dissatisfaction. It’s not fair for either of us,” he said.
“I do love you, Asher.”
“I know. I love you, too, but we’re not in love anymore. We’re more like close friends with certain benefits.”
“So, that’s it? We break up and see other people?” He didn’t like the sadness in her eyes. He hated that he had caused it, but he couldn’t be with her, not when Maggie was out there somewhere.
“Some guy’s going to realize what a prize you are, and scoop you up. He’ll crash into your world, making you truly happy. You’ll realize then, that I’m right, and you’ll be glad we broke up.”
She shook her head. “Ten years is a long time to just give up on.”
“Lore…don’t make this harder than it needs to be. I’ve changed, and that’s not your fault, but I don’t feel the same anymore. I don’t know what else to tell you,” he said.
“There’s someone else, isn’t there?”
Asher didn’t like to lie—liars were weaklings—but as he looked into her eyes, he knew he couldn’t tell her the truth. “There’s no one else; I just don’t love you like that anymore. There’s no future for us together.”
“Okay, Asher. I’ll give you some time because I know we belong together. I waited years for you to retire from the Army. Years. What you’re doing now isn’t right, and it’s not fair. You basically strung me along.”
“Don’t do this, Lorelei. Be angry with me if it makes you feel better. Tell people whatever you want, but we’re not going to work, and we never will. It’s over.”
Asher stood up and looked pointedly at her. Anger settled in her eyes as she picked up the casserole and walked to where he stood. She looked him in the eye as she dropped it on the floor.
“Oh, look, just like my heart,” Lorelei said, and stomped away. A few seconds later, Asher heard the front door slam as he knelt on the floor and started cleaning the mess Lorelei had made.