Chapter 150 Part 150
Emerson
For a moment it felt like she couldn’t breathe. Asher was overwhelming every single sense she had. His domineering presence, his scent, the fact that he was right up against her. It all felt like a dream.
She could feel his heart beating against her, and for a moment, she didn’t want to let go of him. She didn’t ever want to let go of him. Asher was so much more than he gave himself credit for.
“You’ll never fall, Asher.”
“You make me stumble, but I need you to keep holding my hand. For a long time, I wanted you to need me, but it’s me that needs you.”
She shook her head against his chest. That wasn’t true. Asher was the pillar of the family. He was the strong one, the one that made sure everyone else kept standing.
“I can exist without you, but I can’t live without you. I want to stop existing. I want to live, Emerson. I need to live. I’m an idiot for pushing you away. I thought I was keeping you back, but now I don’t care if I am, because without you…I’ll drown.”
“I want to say yes,” she said, softly.
“But?”
“I don’t think I would survive it if I lost you again. You pushed me away so easily.” Emerson pulled away from him, and took a step backward.
“It was the biggest mistake of my life. I knew it even as I watched Mark drive away. There are things I did, things I didn’t write in that journal, and it haunts me. When you left, I couldn’t sleep, because I couldn’t smell you on my pillows anymore. It was hard to come to terms that you knew things about me, things I never wanted you to know.”
“So what changed? How will it be different this time?”
She needed to know that things would be different, and Asher could see that. “After today, there will be no more secrets. I’ll tell you one last secret, then I’ll leave. It’s your choice if you want me in your life or not.”
She could see how much it hurt him to say those words, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear them. He was already at breaking point. He’d opened himself up, told her how he felt, and that had taken a lot from him.
“Why now, Asher? I don’t get it. I’ve been here for weeks.”
“When I raced over to your house last night, the only thing I could think was that I had to get to you, to protect you, because I loved you. I didn’t want you to be afraid, and I knew you were. It was an automatic thing that happened, that pushed me to you. I didn’t stop loving you, not for one moment, I just pushed you away, because I didn’t think I was good enough for you.”
“But now you think you are?”
“No, I still don’t think that, but if I don’t try, I’ll never know. I’ll always wonder what could have been. I’ll always wonder what our life could have been like, and I have too many regrets to add you to that list.”
“So how do you see this playing out? Do you think I’ll just pack everything up and move in with you?”
Asher gave her that smile, the one that made her heart falter, made her breath hitch just a little. “Well…yeah. Why waste time when you could fall asleep in my arms tonight?”
“Is this because Colt asked me on a date?”
Asher’s eyes darkened, and Emerson knew immediately that he hadn’t known about that. His fists clenched tightly, and she could see him pulling back that anger.
“Colt asked you out?”
“I thought you knew, and that’s why you had a change of heart, because now someone else was interested in me,” she said softly.
“Did you say yes?”
“Are you jealous, Asher?”
“Yes,” he said, without thinking about his answer. “I hate that he likes you, and I hate that you’re considering it.”
“Why?”
“Because you were always mine, Emerson, from the moment Mark left you in my kitchen. We both knew it.”
“You scared the hell out of me that first night,” she said, and smiled sadly.
Asher clenched his jaw, and took a step away from her. “Think about what I said. I love you, I always loved you. It’s your choice what happens next.”
He turned on his heel and walked away from her. She heard the front door close softly, and for a moment she wasn’t sure if she could breathe. She wanted him to tell her how he felt and now he finally had.
Her mind cleared when Asher spun away in his truck and she hurried to her bedroom and dialed Colt’s number.
“This is Colt.”
“It’s Emerson—”
“Does that mean this date is finally going to happen?” She could almost hear him grinning.
“No! I told Asher about the date. I thought he knew, and that’s why he was telling me he loved me—”
“You told—”
“That’s not important now! Run, Colt! He just left, and he wasn’t happy!”
Colt swore under his breath, and Emerson swallowed as guilt slammed into her. She hadn’t said it to make him jealous. “I’m sorry.”
“I have to go, maybe change my name, or something.” The call ended abruptly, and Emerson started to worry. Asher wouldn’t hurt his own brother, would he?
It wasn’t like she could just jump in her car and race off to the ranch. She knew he was mad, but was he mad enough to do something about it? He knew how she felt about violence. The fact that he didn’t explode in rage, didn’t yell, or break things, was what had drawn her to him in the first place. She liked Colt, not enough to date him, but she still liked him, and she didn’t want him to get hurt. She knew better than most people what Asher was capable of. She’d watch him kill Grover, even though he’d told her not to look.