28. Freedom.

28. Freedom.
Catherine

We are on our way.

To say it elates me would be trivial, for I am overjoyed at the prospect which lays before me. I am going to see the sea, I was so excited I could not sleep a wink last night. I packed and then repacked my gowns, and this morning Mrs. Macrae, returned my modesty clothes to me so I am no longer so exposed to the world. This is truly the happiest I have been in such a long time.

I am beyond thrilled to be out of that fortress, even more so that our plans include going to court afterwards, and not returning into the mountains. But, although I feel as though I could fly with joy on the inside, I must remember to compose myself, and act like the Lady, Edward has strived to help me become.

There are four of us within this carriage, and the other two gentlemen are in a smaller ensemble following behind. Naturally the Duke and his guest, Lord Varnur are travelling in this grander vehicle, and I suppose it was worked out by rank, as well as etiquette that Edward and I are here too. He is after all, the Duke’s heir and I am affianced to him.

Yet the seating arrangements startled me, I was handed in to the carriage first, and following me was Lord Varnur, who immediately took the open spot at my side which I presumed Edward would have wanted. In fact he did seem quite disgruntled when he first stepped inside and noticed the only spot left was beside his father.

I do feel somewhat guilty however, as I am quite relieved to be free of my intended and his affections, and Lord Varnur has been most chivalrous to me. There have been several occasions the carriage has hit spots on the road which have come remarkably close to unseating me entirely, and each time Lord Varnur, has caught and steadied me before an issue could arise. He is a most pleasant and charming gentleman, attentive but not over bearing, and if I could only disassociate the man completely with my vividly imaginative dreams, I find I could grow quite fond of is friendship.

If Edward would allow such a thing.

But I must say I do feel remarkably at peace in his company.

Thankfully, the two Sorrell’s have both fallen asleep, a mercy on us all I believe as the Duke leers at me in a most offensive manner. Edward is currently powerless to correct his father’s errant behaviours. However, once we are wed I am sure that will change, as it is I am certainly in no position myself to question the Duke’s behaviour. Besides, as Edward sleeps I find myself able to relax more and look forward to this expedition.

I am in no small doubt that it is Lord Varnur, I have to thank for my inclusion. He advocated for me last night at dinner, and even convinced Edward it would be worthwhile for me to come along. Although, I am not quite sure I grasped all of his hidden meanings as he spoke, but I am so delighted he did. Even though I was dutifully warned about the boredom I may encounter as they talk business around me, but I would take a month of attending these discussions they think I will hate, if it means one hour in sight of the ocean.

The sea means home to me, and I am so relieved to be headed towards it.

“Are you excited about your visit?” Lord Varnur asks me, pulling me from my internal monologuing over my good fortune.

“I confess I truly am.” I smile up at him, his grey eyes captivating me as we speak quietly.

The thought of leaning into him flits into my mind like a mischevious little wren, and I feel myself blushing at the thought of how at home I would feel within his arms. The smile he returns to me lights up his entire face, and I cannot help but think in another life I would be completely undone by this gentleman’s charms, and gladly so.

“I am glad, Miss Innes. No one deserves to be stuck in such a draughty castle for so long; without the simple pleasures that come from being where we love most. I am just sorry it is not your home town we are to travel to, I believe the coastal areas to the west are much more prone to storms and thus will not have the same relaxed beauty you are used to.” He answers, confusing me.

How does he know where I am from?

As if reading my discomfort, he blushes somewhat before nodding to Edward. “I was told the story of how and where you met,” he explains, instantly calming my nerves.

I like it when he blushes.

I smile and nod in understanding. We are silent together for a while, yet I can feel his eyes upon me. But strangely, I do not feel ogled or demeaned by his watching of me. It is the oddest thing, I almost feel cared for and cherished, as if it is my well being he is in constant check of, and not just my body. I do not feel exposed, but I do feel wanted around him, and in return I believe my heart may be begining to want to be around him in turn. It is a nerve wracking thought.

“Lord Varnur?” I summon up my courage to talk with him again.

“Yes, Miss Innes?” He speaks softly, his smile small, yet I can easily see it shining from his eyes.

“I wanted to thank you, Lord Varnur. I am not such a simpleton that I could not detect that it was you last night who fought for my joining on this expedition. I can think of no motivation for you to do such a thing for me other than to show me kindness, and I just want you to know how grateful I am to you.” I quickly speak my thanks, in case Edward wakes, knowing he will take offense at the words which offer gratitude to another instead of himself.

Lord Varnur sighs, “You need not thank me, Miss Innes. You owe no one here anything.” He states almost pointedly, before pausing for a minute. “My stay at the castle had to be cut short due to news from home,” he responds almost airily, changing the subject entirely. “Otherwise, I believe I would have been quite delighted to explore those tunnels.”

I am unsure of his abrupt change of subject, but stiffen instantly when another voice reaches my ears.

He is awake.

“That would have been particularly helpful, especially if you could of found my Catherine's little kitten. Although I suppose the traitorous feline will be almost grown now." Edward states as he stretches out his legs in front of me from his slumber and encroaches more on the small space I am confined to.

He did not hear me

I suddenly comprehend Lord Varnur's change of topic, he knew Edward was waking.

Lord Varnur has protected me yet again.

My gaze flicks over to him, his eyes are still trained on me.

"You have a cat?" Lord Varnur asks me with a genuine curiosity in his voice.

I smile meekly, but it is Edward who answers for me, like I knew he would.

"Had. My dearest wife to be has an exceptionally kind heart, and raised the orphaned creature from its infancy. Then two months ago, the ungrateful being bolted from her room into the depths of the tunnels, never to be seen again; and when you needed her most I might add. I have never understood felines. Now a dog you can train, teach it to heel and it knows who its master is. But, a cat... they can be far too full of their own importance, there is no doubt about it. They are tiring and exhausting creatures who do not appreciate their place in the hierarchy of life." Edward expresses coldly, before adjusting himself and closing his eyes again.

I have averted my own tear filled eyes to the window now, desperately trying to compose myself as I notice the gathering clouds above us. Edward does not mean to be cruel, I do believe he only resents Chastity because of the sorrow her absense has brought to me. Yet still his words have injured me, cutting my facade to the quick and openning up my grief for all to see.

I feel a warm hand on top of my own in my lap, squeezing it gently to gain my attention. I desperately try to blink back my tears in the hope that none will fall, a truly pointless endeavor, but wiping at my face will only bring more attention to my unwell disposition. So, I do all that I can do and I turn to face Lord Varnur, it is only he after all who could be looking for my attention; Edward has returned to snoring lightly again.

His eyes hold a softness to them as he looks at me, despite the hardened tension in the rest of his face. I go to speak but he shakes his head, holding his finger to his lips to still my words. Then with his free hand he passes me a hankerchief, nodding in recognition of my tattered emotions.

How can a stranger offer me such compassion when my own fiance cannot even sense my pain?

Such a simple show of support, yet I think he underestimates just how much this simple act means to me. I smile, hoping he can sense my gratitude, before using the cloth to dry my face. His hand is still lingering on my other in my lap, and I am ashamed to say I like it. But, it is not proper and I must remove myself from his grasp, even though I am left feeling bereft without his contact.

An emotion that confuses me beyond my scope of intelligence.

I may coincidentally recognise this man from a figment of my imagination, but I only just met him yesterday, such attractions make no sense to me.

I dab at my eyes as I turn back to face the window, now content upon watching the raindrops as they trace their patterns of lines down the pane of glass on the carriage that separates us from the second storm that seems to be hitting the area in such a short space of time.

Author's Note: I have edited but have not proof read this one properly yet. But I wanted to get it out to you as soon as possible. Its a busy week here, and I am running short on time. I hope you like it, I am so chuffed to finally be able to write scenes with both our main characters together in this book, it has been a long time coming. B x