Chapter 20

Ash couldn’t believe she stood on the beach with Burke Lawson. Sure, she’d run with him hundreds of times. Probably thousands. But none of their mornings had started like this.

“I’m just as much to blame as you are,” she said. “I shouldn’t have acted like our relationship was real when it was only an agreement.”

“Ash,” he said, but she held up her hand, and he didn’t continue. That was new. The old Burke would’ve said what he wanted.

This man before here was a completely different man with the same flop of gorgeous blond hair and those eyes.

Oh, yes, those eyes would always be her undoing.

“I knew we needed to go slow, but I was so convinced you weren’t being genuine with me.”

“I was,” he whispered.

“I know that now. I’ve never eaten so many tacos in my life.”

Burke opened his mouth to say something and then shut it again. A frown creased his eyebrows. “I’m sorry. Tacos?”

“DJ’s been giving me little tidbits about what you’ve been up to.” A smile stretched her face. “You took over the farm?”

He nodded, a slip of hardness entering his eyes. “Yes, a couple of weeks ago.” He looked over her shoulder and back to her. “You’ve been spying on me through DJ?”

“I think I’ve gained fifteen pounds eating the pork tacos.” She laughed, though her wardrobe was indeed tighter than it used to be. “But the guacamole there is….” She shook her head. “Unbelievable.”

Burke chuckled too, breaking all the tension between them.

“I’m sorry,” Ash said, her stomach lurching. “I may have expected more from you than you were capable of giving.”

“I’m capable now.” He took a step toward her, and Ash’s skin tingled in anticipation of being touched by him.

“Are you?”

“I’ve been gathering up all the pieces of my heart,” he said. “And listening to it. And Ash, I’m still in love with you.”

A grin burst onto Ash’s face, as Burke seemed to know exactly what to say and what Ash needed to hear. “I love you, too.”

He smiled, stepped again, and trailed his fingers over hers and up her arm to her elbow. “Can we maybe try again?” he asked, moving closer and bending down so the tip of his nose touched her temple. Her heart beat wildly out of control as her blood heated.

“No agreements,” she said.

“No agreements,” he said. “Just me and you figuring things out together.” His hands slipped around her, and Ash tipped her head back to look into his eyes. Have her moment.

After taking it, she stretched up onto her toes and paused with her mouth only inches from his. “I’m going to kiss you now,” she whispered.

“Go on, then.” He closed his eyes and waited, looking beyond handsome and peaceful at the same time.

She did, and the moment her lips touched his, everything that had been seething inside her these past few months calmed.

Only twenty minutes later, she slowed her jog to a walk, her calves screaming and her breath burning on the way in and out of her lungs. “Wow,” she panted. “I’m completely out of shape.”

Burke ran back to her and around her. “So, you didn’t go running at all since we broke up?”

Ash shook her head, still trying to get a proper amount of oxygen. It seemed like with the change of the seasons that maybe the island had suddenly increased in elevation.

“Why not?” Burke asked, finally coming to a rest on both feet.

“Reminded me too much of you,” she said honestly, wanting everything between them to be filled with honesty from now on. She added a shrug to the statement so he wouldn’t know how terribly she’d missed him. Keeping his dog had probably told him that already.

“I drove by your shop all the time,” he said. “It was as close to you as I could get.” He drew her close to him now, and she drew in a deep breath of the scent of his laundry detergent and enjoyed the feel of his arms around her.

“You sure took a long time figuring things out.” Ash looked up at him, hoping for more of an explanation.

“Yeah.” He exhaled, laced his fingers through hers, and said, “Can we walk at least?”

Ash could definitely walk, so she did that. She’d also need to lay off the tacos and figure out a workout regimen so she could get back in good enough shape to run the miles and miles Burke did. That she once had.

“I had to go step by step,” Burke said, his voice thoughtful. “See, my heart was in a lot of pieces, and I had to find them all and put them all back together.”

Ash took a few more steps before she said, “I had no idea you were so poetic.” She giggled, simply glad not to be running.

“Don’t laugh,” he said though he chuckled too. “I figured out that I was afraid of being rejected again. That’s why I didn’t want another relationship.”

Ash held his hand, knowing she had some confessions of her own to voice. “I didn’t believe you could really like me,” she said. “So I’ve spent the last few months trying to figure out why I thought that.”

“And?” he prompted.

“Milo,” she said.

“I told you that guy was an idiot.”

Ash half laughed and half sighed. “He wasn’t serious about anything, and I am. Well, you know how I am.”

“Wonderful?” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Hardworking? Beautiful?”

“Serious,” she said, though she appreciated the compliments. “I’ve sort of had to be, what with my mother getting sick when I was so young.”

“I like you,” he said. “Just how you are.”

“Thank you,” she murmured, the water getting a little too close to her sneakers. “And you’re different.”

“I figured out who I am,” he said. “And I’m just warning you, you might not like every piece anymore.”

“I never liked every piece.”

“Ouch.” He chuckled, and Ash stepped in front of him.

“I mean it, Burke. You’re a great guy, but I knew you weren’t being real.”

He gazed down at her, dozens of emotions flying through his eyes. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“Say something? What would you have liked me to say? ‘Burke, you’ve lost your motivation.’?”

“Well, maybe not that.” He grinned and bent down to kiss her again. Before he did, he paused and said, “I’m sorry about Milo. But I am serious about you.” And he kissed her like he meant it.

Eleven months later:

The bell on Ash’s shop sounded, but she didn’t get up from the sewing machine. She couldn’t believe her own gown had proven to be so dang difficult to construct. But she wanted beads, and lace, and chiffon. The multi-layers had kept her at the machine past her normal quitting time for weeks now, and her big day was in only a few days.

“Hey.” Burke entered the room, the scent of Chinese food coming with him. “I come bearing egg rolls and that spicy chicken you love.” He set the food on the table across from her and came around the sewing desk to give her a quick kiss on the back of her neck.

His lips lingered there, and she let up on the pedal as a slow heat filled her from head to toe. The needle stopped, and she reached back and ran her fingers through Burke’s hair as he continued to kiss her.

She laughed, spun in her chair, and kissed her fiancé like she couldn’t wait to say I do in only a few days. Which, of course, she couldn’t.

“Come eat,” he said, slipping away from her. “You can work faster after you’ve had some calories.”

She’d tried arguing this point with him in the past, and he’d called her “crabby and cranky” when she didn’t eat in favor of staying at the machine. Plus, she didn’t want to. With her own wedding this Christmas season, Ash thought she may have bitten off more than she could sew for the first time.

“Em’s coming in the morning,” she said, sighing as she sat in the chair next to where Burke was unloading the food he’d brought. “Final fitting. I should be able to finish that tomorrow. And Chesney’s wedding is on Thursday, and her dress is done. And Willow’s isn’t for three weeks after ours, but I want her dress as close to done as possible so I’m not stressing while we’re on our honeymoon.”

“Sounds good.” He opened a container and pushed it toward her when she saw it held noodles. “And how’s your dress coming?” He glanced toward the heap of white fabric on the sewing desk.

Ash hadn’t wanted him to see the dress, but she literally had to work on it at all hours, and she couldn’t turn Burke away after they’d spent all day working apart. It wasn’t like he could tell how magnificent it would be when it was in shambles, as it currently was.

“It’s…coming.” She dumped almost the entire container of noodles onto her paper plate and reached for the spicy chicken. “I think I’ll be able to finish it, but it’s going to be tight.” And she didn’t just mean that she’d managed to lose the fifteen pounds she’d gained during their breakup, but that she may have overestimated how narrow her waist really was.

So she ate half of the noodles and only a few pieces of the chicken before she positioned herself behind the sewing machine again. If she could just get this gauzy, airy, beautiful fabric to line up and stay in place, she could get this dress done lickety-split.

He pulled her away from the work once more when he decided to go home. “Dolly will be wondering where I am.” He bent over and pressed a kiss to her forehead, and Ash took a moment to admire him as he walked out.

Then she got back to work.