Chapter 19
Burke stared at the shop keys sitting next to Ash’s phone on his front table. Darkness had claimed the island at least an hour ago, and while she’d been staying up at her mother’s long past this time, surely, she knew by now that he had her belongings.
“Just take them back to her,” he muttered to himself. She wouldn’t come to him, he knew that.
So he swiped the keys and her phone and left his condo. He wasn’t going to hide out behind closed doors and make her come asking for what belonged to her.
“Come on, Dolly,” he said, and the golden retriever lifted her head like they’d be going to a party. Burke loaded the sixty-pound dog into his car and drove over to Ash’s place. Her windows were dark, but Dolly whined, so he got out and let the dog out.
She sniffed around, finally finding the perfect place to do her business, and then she jumped up the steps and circled until she found a good spot for lying on the cement.
“We’re not staying,” Burke said to her as he climbed the few steps and opened the screen door. Her keys and phone would be safe there, and she’d find them when she got home. Having placed her items between the screen door and the front door, he turned to leave.
He tried to breathe in, but it was so, so hard. His chest felt like someone had wrapped an industrial rubber band around his lungs and was twisting so tight, so tight.
He choked but somehow managed to get himself down the steps and back to his car. “Come on,” he said to his dog, but she didn’t move. He took a couple of steps back around the front of the car and called for the dog again.
She still wouldn’t come, and Burke had had enough of this day. “Fine, whatever.” Even his dog wanted Ash more than him, and Burke found himself in the same camp.
He got in the car and sent her a text. Dolly wouldn’t come with me, so can you keep her for the night? Just set her on the sand in the morning and she’ll find me.
He didn’t want to think about Ash being on the same sand he was while he ran alone. He wondered if she’d been going to the gym—which she hated—and his heart clenched.
“She can make her own choices,” he told himself, starting the car and pulling away from her house. He watched his rearview mirror, half hoping Ash would pull up, see him, and they’d get to talk.
It didn’t matter. He’d already said what he’d needed to say. Well, part of it. And she’d stood there and blinked. Then she’d run away.
At least Bridgette had never done that. She’d stayed and said no right to his face.
Bitterness filled him, and Burke was really glad there were no headlights behind him. He didn’t want to talk to Ash when he was angry. Or bitter. Or wishing he knew what to say or do.
He was going to figure things out.
That didn’t happen the next morning, but at least Ash texted back that Dolly wouldn’t leave her side, even when she ran down to the water and back. Even when she’d told the retriever to go find Burke.
So, I’ll just keep her for a while if that’s all right.
Burke didn’t particularly like the idea. Dolly had been the only thing keeping him company since the breakup. The only living creature who listened to him at night, who laid by him and reminded him that he wasn’t utterly alone.
But he had no other choice but to respond with All right, and let the retriever stay with her.
He ran on the beach, and he walked through the flower fields as they prepped some for the cooler winters in Hawaii. He participated in another late plumeria harvest, and he went over the documents with his father that would make the farm his, no strings attached.
“So, you just need to sign there,” the manager at the bank said. He was acting as the notary for the paperwork, and Burke held the pen, ready to sign.
He met his father’s eye. “Ready?” his dad asked, a fond smile appearing on his face. “You’re totally ready for this, Burke. You’ve learned everything you need to know about the farm, and you’re ready.”
Burke felt ready, and he signed his name on the paperwork, watched as it got stamped and sealed, and when he and his father left the bank, Burke finally felt like he’d done something right in his life.
He felt more grown up than he ever had, and another piece of himself fell into place. He’d been gathering them slowly as the days and weeks passed, as the children in Getaway Bay went trick-or-treating, as pumpkin pie was made and served, and as Christmas decorations went up and down Main Street.
So maybe Burke drove by the little strip of shops where Ash sewed. But he didn’t stop, not again. He knew the holiday season was extremely busy for her, and while he still didn’t have his dog back, he was slowly starting to feel more and more like himself.
The real Burke. The one he’d been before the warped version of Burke Lawson had emerged as he’d tried to win Bridgette’s heart.
He found a piece when he figured out which restaurants were his favorite. His. Not where Bridgette wanted to eat. He found a piece when he took over the farm and the employees threw him a party and welcomed him as if he had the knowledge and experience to be their boss.
He found a piece as he ran on the beach by himself, because he learned how to be by himself.
He thought a lot about Ash and what he might say to her. Nothing came to mind, so he didn’t go see her and didn’t text her. He even stopped looking for her or Dolly in the morning while he stretched.
He went to a New Year’s Eve party with DJ, one of the first parties he’d been to in a very long time. The other man moved seamlessly through the crowds, leaning into the pretty women and giving them a kiss on the cheek.
Burke felt very out of his element, and while he liked DJ and had gotten to know the man better over the past few months, he didn’t want to be at this party.
“Burke,” a woman said as he trailed in DJ’s wake, and he turned toward her.
The woman in front of him was familiar, but he couldn’t remember her name. “Hey,” he said, the word falling falsely from his mouth. He really hated that. “I’m sorry,” he said next. “I don’t remember your name.”
“Vivien,” she said, her face falling the slightest bit. “We went to the hospital gala together a few years ago.”
Understanding hit him, and he remembered the black-tie event his father had suggested he attend, as the farm had donated some money for the new children’s wing. “Oh, of course.” He smiled at her, keeping his attention on her though he wanted to glance around for an escape. “Good to see you.”
“You too.” Vivien stood there, sipping her drink and scanning the crowd beyond him.
And that was when Burke knew that he was going to leave this party and do whatever it took to get the life he wanted. “I’m sorry,” he said with another smile. “I have to go.”
He walked away from Vivien and right on out of the party. Not wanting to be rude, he did text DJ and then he called for a ride home. As he walked up the steps to his condo building, he felt like he was ready to make this year the best one of his life yet.
He just needed to find a way to get Ash back into that life.
A couple of days later, he drove the delivery truck to the airport and restocked the Petals & Leis kiosk there. Once everything was set, he started back toward the farm, taking a detour past Ash’s place.
He still had no ideas for what he should say or do, but he did see a flash of golden fur as he passed Dress of Your Dreams, and that caused him to brake. “She’s taking Dolly to the shop?”
That animal shed more hair than any dog alive, and there was no way that wasn’t getting all over the dresses.
He went around the block and pulled into the parking lot. He found a spot a few doors down, but the glare from the sun made it impossible to see if Dolly was indeed inside the shop.
He pulled out his phone and sent a text to Ash. How’s Dolly? Driving you nuts? I can pick her up anytime.
A few minutes passed before his phone lit up. She’s fine. I’ll drop her off at your place. Thanks for letting me keep her so long.
He wanted to continue the conversation, but he took a moment to analyze why he wanted to keep talking to her.
Because what he’d blurted in her shop was still true. He was still in love with her.
Are you running at the gym? he typed out.
No, came her single-word response.
Want to meet me at the beach tomorrow? he typed out but didn’t send. Did he dare send it? What would she say? Could he handle it if she said no?
Once again, Burke sat back and took a few moments to think.
He sent his text, sure his heart could handle a rejection from her. Because it was whole again, and he was ready to do whatever it took to get her back.
Ash didn’t respond, and Burke backed out of the parking space and continued back up to his farm.
The next morning, he arrived at his and Ash’s usual meeting spot earlier than usual and went through his pre-run stretching routine twice before admitting to himself she wasn’t going to come. And then there was also the fact that he might never get his dog back.
He’d started out at a slow jog when he heard a dog bark. Stalling, he turned back and scanned the golden sand, searching for Dolly.
She came tearing toward him, sand flying up from her paws, and Burke laughed. “Come on,” he called, and she ran right up to him, her tail wagging her whole body. “How are you, huh, girl? I haven’t seen you in so long.”
He knelt down and scrubbed Dolly, happier to see her than he cared to admit. “Oh, you smell good. Has Ash been giving you a bath? Has she? Huh?”
“I tried, once.”
Burke looked up to see Ash standing there, and if the sun had been up, it would’ve haloed her. As it was, her presence made his entire soul light up and he slowly rose to his feet.
“You didn’t answer my text,” he said.
“Yeah.” She looked at him, and Burke couldn’t stand the charge between them.
“I’m so sorry,” he said. “I’ve been figuring things out, and I’m—”
She reached up and touched her forefinger to his lips, effectively silencing him.
“I have a few things to say,” she said. “Apparently, I had a few things to figure out too.” Her hand fell from his mouth, and Burke felt like she’d branded him.
When they stood there standing for several long seconds, staring, Burke said, “Go on, then,” hoping with everything in him that what she had to say were things like I’m sorry I kept your dog for so long, and I love you too.