Chapter 26 Steering
Maya's POV
Brittany didn't look angry.
That was what I noticed. Her arms were still crossed, but her face… her face wasn't carved from stone anymore. It looked almost... soft.
What is happening?
"Maya," she said. Her voice was different. It was quiet and careful.
I didn't respond. I just stood there, my back straight and my hands clenched at my sides.
Whatever this is, I'm not running.
"We're sorry."
I blinked.
Sorry?
"We should have believed you, we should have stood up for you." Brittany's voice wavered, just a little. "We didn't know you were being bullied. We thought… We thought the pictures were real. We thought you'd…"
"You thought I'd what?" My voice came out sharp. "You thought I'd purposely let someone take pictures of me unconscious? You thought I'd want that?"
Brittany flinched. Behind her, some of the other cheerleaders looked down at their shoes.
"No," she said. "No, we didn't think so. That was the problem. We just... believed what we saw."
Believed what you saw? Indeed.
No one asked me. No one asked if I was okay. No one cared.
"If it hadn't been for the coach… if he hadn't stood up for you at the rink, we wouldn't have…" Brittany stopped and swallowed. "We wouldn't have realized."
There it is. They wouldn't have realized.
Not because they cared about the truth but because Justin chose me in front of everyone.
Because a man with power told them I was worth believing.
Something cold settled deeper into my chest.
"Sarah has been fighting for you, you know."
The words came from Maria. She was standing behind Brittany, her arms wrapped around herself like she was cold.
I turned to look at her.
Sarah has been fighting for me?
Sarah?
"The day we came to collect your uniform," Maria continued, "she cried. She wasn't happy about it. None of us were."
Cried?
Sarah cried.
The same Sarah who drugged me. The same Sarah who hired a boy to lie on top of me and who spread pictures of me unconscious across the entire school.
Cried?
Ohh please.
I wanted to laugh. I wanted to scream. I wanted to grab Maria by her perfect ponytail and shake her until she understood.
You have no idea. None of you have any fucking idea.
She's not fighting for me. She's the one who lit the fire.
But I didn't say any of that. I just stood there, silent and frozen.
They don't know. Nobody knows.
Only Justin and Papa know.
And Papa is in a hospital bed.
And Justin is…
"We want you to come back," Brittany said.
I blinked. "What?"
"To the team. We want you back." She stepped closer. "We miss you, Maya. The squad isn't the same without you."
Miss me?
They miss me.
These people ignored me. They humiliated me and took my uniform like I was nothing.
And now they miss me?
"There's training this afternoon," Maria added. "You should come."
Brittany reached into her bag and pulled out a bundle of red and white fabric.
My uniform.
It was clean, pressed and folded neatly.
They brought my uniform.
They brought it back, like that makes everything okay.
"Take it," Brittany said, holding it out to me. "Please."
I stared at the uniform.
I don't want it. I don't want any of this. I don't want to be on a team with people who abandoned me.
I don't want to pretend that everything is fine.
I don't want…
"Come on, Maya." Maria touched my arm. "You know you want to. This is something you've always wanted."
Have I?
Did I want this?
Or did Sarah want this for me?
Did I ever want any of it?
Brittany pushed the uniform into my hands. I didn't close my fingers around it, I just let it sit there.
"We'll walk with you," someone said.
And then they were around me. Their hands on my shoulders and on my arms, pushing me, gently but firmly and steering me, like I didn’t have a choice.
What are they doing?
Where are they taking me?
"Training is at the rink," Brittany said. "You remember. Same time as always."
The rink.
Justin's rink.
The place where he got down on one knee and kissed me in front of everyone.
The place where everything changed.
I let them push me. I didn't have the energy to fight.
I didn't have the energy to do anything except put one foot in front of the other and try not to fall apart.
The rink was cold.
The ice gleamed under the bright lights. The bleachers were empty and the air smelled like frozen water and ambition.
The hockey players were already there with their skates on and sticks in hands, gliding across the ice like they'd been born there.
And at center ice… Justin.
He wasn't wearing skates, just his shoes on the ice. His breath fogged in the cold air, his hands were in his pockets and his hair was messy.
He looked tired, like he hadn't slept either.
I wanted to turn back and leave. Somehow, I'd forgotten that I was going to see him here. And honestly, I wasn't ready to see him. I wouldn't know what to say.
I'd just slip out unnoticed.
Please, please, please. Just keep your back turned.
Maya…
I froze.
That voice. Fuck.
Sarah. That lying, scheming…
"What's going on? You look like hell? Leaving already?"
Damn her. Her stupid voice was so loud that the whole rink turned to face me. I'm very sure she did it intentionally.
Everyone turned including Justin.
Fuck.
His eyes found mine and the world stopped.
Not the whole world but just mine.
His eyes, blue-gray, tired and soft, locked onto me like I was the only person in the building.
He's looking at me, like I'm something precious, like I'm something worth protecting.
Like I'm not broken.
My heart pounded and my hands started shaking. The uniform slipped from my fingers and fell to the ice.
I didn't pick it up.
I couldn't move.
I could only stand there, frozen, while his eyes held mine and the rest of the world disappeared.