Chapter 115 Pregnancy Scare

Chapter 115 Pregnancy Scare
Evelyn's Pov

I stared at the pregnancy test sitting on the bathroom counter. My period was three days late and I never ran late. Ever since I was fourteen, my cycle had been like clockwork every twenty-eight days without fail. So when day twenty-nine came and went, I started to panic.

I bought the test on my way home from a meeting with Braydon. I didn't tell Gyran I was getting it because I didn't want to worry him if it turned out to be nothing. But now I was sitting here waiting for the results and my hands wouldn't stop shaking.

The instructions said to wait three minutes. I set a timer on my phone and paced around the bathroom. Three minutes felt like three hours. I thought about what it would mean if the test were positive. We'd talked about kids on our honeymoon and we both wanted them eventually but not yet. We wanted a few years of just us first. We wanted to get further away from the mafia life before bringing a baby into this world.

But what if it was too late for that? What if I were already pregnant?

My timer went off and I picked up the test with trembling hands. One line. Not pregnant.

I sat down on the edge of the bathtub and stared at it. I should have felt relieved. We weren't ready for a baby. This was good news. But there was this weird feeling in my chest that felt almost like disappointment.

I put the test in the trash and went downstairs. Gyran was in his office doing something on his computer. Probably planning what false information to feed the Valentinos at his fake security job. That whole situation still made me angry but I was trying to support him.

"Hey," I said from the doorway.

He looked up and smiled. "Hey. How was your meeting with Braydon?"

"Fine. We went over some numbers for the legitimate businesses." I walked into the office and sat down in the chair across from his desk. "Can we talk about something?"

His smile faded. "That sounds serious. What's wrong?"

"My period was late so I took a pregnancy test."

He sat up straighter. "What?"

"It was negative. I'm not pregnant."

"Oh." He let out a long breath. "That's good."

"Yeah."

We looked at each other for a minute.

"You don't seem happy about it," he said.

"I am. We're not ready for a baby."

"But?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Part of me was kind of disappointed when I saw the negative result. Is that weird?"

"No. It makes sense." He came around the desk and sat in the chair next to mine. "We talked about wanting kids eventually. It's natural to have mixed feelings."

"I'm only twenty-two. That's really young to be thinking about babies."

"You've been through more than most people go through in their whole lives. You're allowed to feel older than twenty-two."

That was true. Sometimes I forgot how young I actually was. I'd been running mafia operations since I was nineteen. I'd killed people and watched people die and gotten married and survived a war. Most twenty-two-year-olds were still in college, figuring out what they wanted to do with their lives.

"Do you think we'll ever be ready?" I asked.

"I hope so. I want kids with you someday. Just not right now."

"Why not right now?"

He thought about it for a minute. "Because I want to give our kids a better life than we had. I want them to grow up safe and normal without worrying about rival families or FBI raids or their parents getting killed. And we're not there yet."

"We might never get there. You're literally working as a double agent for a rival mafia family right now."

"I know. But I'm trying to fix that situation. Once we deal with the Valentinos and get the FBI off our backs maybe we can actually step away from all this."

"And if we can't?"

"Then we'll figure it out. But I'd rather wait a few more years and see if we can build something better first."

I understood what he was saying and he was probably right. Bringing a baby into our current situation would be irresponsible. But there was still that small part of me that was disappointed.

"Were you scared when you thought I might be pregnant?" I asked.

"Terrified. But also kind of excited. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah."

He took my hand. "We'll have kids when we're ready. There's no rush."

"I know. You're right." I squeezed his hand. "We should probably be more careful with birth control though. I've been kind of inconsistent with my pill lately."

"Okay. I can get condoms too if that helps."

"That would be good."

We sat there holding hands for a while. It felt nice to talk about this stuff even though it was scary. A year ago I never would have imagined having this conversation with anyone. I never thought I'd want kids or a normal family life. But Gyran had changed everything.

"Can I ask you something?" he said.

"Sure."

"When you saw the negative test did you feel more relieved or more disappointed?"

I thought about it honestly. "Probably sixty percent relieved and forty percent disappointed."

"That's fair. I think I was about the same when you told me."

"Really? You seemed totally relieved."

"I was relieved because we're not ready yet. But I was also a little disappointed because it would have been ours. Our kid. That would have been pretty amazing even if the timing was wrong."

I hadn't expected him to say that. "You're going to be a good dad someday."

"You're going to be a good mom."

"I hope so. I didn't exactly have a great example."

"Neither did I. But we'll figure it out together."

That made me feel better. We would figure it out when the time came. But for now, we had other things to deal with, like keeping Gyran alive while he played spy games with the Valentinos. And helping Braydon manage the family businesses. And trying to build some kind of normal life in the middle of all the chaos.

"I love you," I said.

"I love you too.”