Chapter 41 Chapter 41
Noah's POV
I saw them before they saw me, which was the worst possible way it could’ve happened, because it gave me time to look. And once you start thinking in a situation like that, it doesn’t go anywhere good.
They were standing near the center of the courtyard, just off the main path where the trees cut the sunlight into uneven shadows across the ground. Students passed around them in small groups, conversations blending into background noise, but somehow, they looked separate from all of it, like their own little world.
Emily was laughing, a polite version she gave donors. It wasn't the restrained, measured tone she used during rehab sessions. This was real and unfiltered. Lucas stood across from her, relaxed with his hands loosely in his pockets, his head tilted slightly like he was listening in that way he always did, fully, attentively, like whatever she was saying mattered. Of course it did. Everything about him said it would.
He said something. She shook her head, smiling, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Something tightened in my chest.
Jealousy.
I exhaled slowly through my nose, my jaw was tightening as I stood there, watching longer than I should have. Part of me knew I could walk away, to leave it and ignore it. But that part didn’t stand a chance. Especially when she looked at him like that. I knew exactly what it felt like to be that close to her.
I moved before I could talk myself out of it. Even if everything under my skin told me a different thing. They noticed me when I was already halfway there. Emily’s smile faded first.
Lucas turned next. Nothing about him was rushed. He never reacted before he chose to. I stopped in front of them. “Am I interrupting something?” I asked. My tone was light.
Lucas didn’t even blink. “You usually are,” he said calmly, like he had been expecting this. He probably already decided how this would go. My jaw tightened slightly, but I didn’t react.
Emily stepped in before anything could escalate. “Noah-don’t.”
Don’t.
Like she already knew where this was heading. She was trying to stop it before it even started, but it was too late. “What?” I said, glancing at her briefly before looking back at Lucas. “I’m just asking a question.”
“It’s not just a question,” she said.
“Seems like one.”
“It’s not.”
Lucas watched us in silence jut observing us. "You’ve been avoiding me,” I said to her. I'm no longer dancing around it.
Her eyes narrowed slightly. “I’ve been busy.” She lied.
“That’s not what it looks like.”
“That’s because you’re making assumptions.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.”
“Then explain this.” I gestured slightly between them.
Emily’s expression hardened. “There’s nothing to explain.”
“Really?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Yes.”
“Because from where I’m standing-”
“Noah,” she cut in, sharper this time. “Stop.”
Stop.
Like I was the problem as if I was the one creating tension that didn’t already exist, like I was imagining something that was clearly right in front of me.
I laughed quietly. “Right,” I said. “I will just ignore it.”
“That would be a good start.” Her tone was firm but like she was holding something back. It was about what she was choosing. That mattered more.
Lucas finally spoke. “You’re not very subtle,” he said.
I looked at him. “I’m not trying to be.”
“I can see that.”
“Good.”
The silence stretched between us, out in the open. And everyone could feel it. “This isn’t necessary,” Emily said.
“It is to me.” I replied.
“Why?” She asked.
Well, here are my reasons, I don’t like seeing you with him, it bothers me more than it should. I can’t pretend it doesn’t matter, because it does. All of that sat right there, but I didn’t say it like that. I said it simpler. “Because you matter.”
Emily didn’t immediately respond. She didn't dismiss it, she didn’t shut it down the way she had before. She just stood there, processing it. Lucas’s expression changed slightly. He wasn't surprised nor did he seem impressed. He was understanding it, like something had clicked into place. “Then act like it,” he said.
I looked at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.
“It means you don’t get to want her only when it suits you.” That hit like a punch. Those weren't random words, they were targeted.
“That’s not what this is,” I said.
“Isn’t it?”
“No.”
Lucas held my gaze, it was unshaken. “You disappear when things get real,” he said. “You push when it’s convenient. You test people until they leave.”
Emily’s eyes flicked between us, th tension was building fast. “This isn’t about you,” I said.
“No,” he agreed. “It’s about her.” That made it worse, because now it wasn’t just confrontation. It was exposure. He wasn’t entirely wrong, because I had done that. It was how I operated. But this time, it wasn't like that at all. Maybe he couldn’t see that, or worse... The fact that it might look like that from the outside. That got under my skin.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said.
“I know exactly what I’m talking about.” he replied.
“No, you don’t.”
“I have known you longer than she has.”
“That doesn’t mean anything.”
“It means I recognize patterns.”
“I’m not a pattern.”
“No,” he said quietly. “You’re predictable.” It punched me in the chest. It was about me. About whether I was actually different this time, or just repeating something I hadn’t fully understood before.
Emily stepped forward. “That’s enough,” she said, it was final.
“This isn’t happening.”
I looked at her. “What isn’t?” I asked.
“This,” she said, gesturing between us. “Whatever this is.”
“It’s a conversation.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Then what is it?”
“It’s unnecessary.”
“Not to me.”
Her jaw tightened. “Everything doesn’t revolve around you.”
“I didn’t say it did.”
“Then stop acting like it.”
“I’m not acting.”
“Then what are you doing?”
There was that question again. I didn’t hesitate. “I’m not ignoring it.”
“It doesn’t need to be addressed like this.”
“It does for me.”
“That’s your problem.”
“Yeah,” I said quietly. “It is.”
There was a silence, because now it was out there. Lucas stepped back slightly just creating the space between us, like he was letting something play out as if he didn’t need to interfere anymore, because the point had already been made.
“I’m not choosing sides,” Emily said.
“You don’t have to,” I replied.
“It’s not about that.”
“It feels like it is.”
“It’s not.”
“Then what is it?”
She hesitated. That hesitation was everything. This wasn't simple. “I don’t owe you an explanation,” she said.
“No,” I agreed. “You don’t.”
“But you’re acting like I do.”
“I’m acting like I care.”
Her expression faltered for a second. I do care about her, which was even surprising for me too. Everything mattered to me.
Lucas looked between us. "You need to decide what you’re doing.”
I didn’t look at him or even repsond to him. Emily exhaled slowly, like she was trying to steady something. “I’m not doing this here,” she said.
“Then where?” I asked. She didn't even answer. Instead, she turned slightly, creating distance. That felt worse than anything else, because she was hesitating. I could even lose her. If I let this stay undefined. If I let her retreat into control. If I let someone like Lucas step into that space, that safe space, the one that I didn’t naturally offer, I would lose, because I didn’t step up.
I stepped back. I needed to think clearly. I needed to understand what this actually required. Because this was about something I had never done before, and that was staying, not the one-night stands and partying, getting rid of the girls because simply didn't care about them. Emily was a young woman who didn't do those kinds of things and yes, it's challenging me too. But if I wanted her, I needed to think and act fast and also be the new Noah, both to save my reputation and for her to get her future, but I only hope that that future included me.
I wasn't going to wait until things fell apart, and I wasn't going to pull back. I needed to fight for her, if I wanted any chance with her. She looked even better with Lucas, he was more her type. I looked at her one last time before I turned around and walked away, because if I had stayed, then I would've kept pushing. At this time, it wasn't what she needed.
I didn’t slow down until I was halfway across campus, I didn't stop until I was alone. I exhaled hard, running a hand through my hair as everything replayed in my head. Her and Lucas, maybe she would end up choosing Lucas over me. That was like a knife piercing into my heart just to think about it.
And Lucas’s words of “You don’t get to want her only when it suits you.” stuck with me, because it forced something I hadn’t fully faced yet. He was warning me that Emily was not someone who I could just change like it was going out of fashion like my choices in woman. This wasn’t something I could step in and out of depending on how I felt. He was correct. That was the part I couldn’t ignore anymore.
I stood there for a long moment, letting it all sink in. My heart was beating at a rapid pace just thinking about this the entire time. This was something that I couldn’t walk away from. It was all about Emily Taylor. And whether I was willing to show up the way she needed, and not in the way I was used to. That realization locked into place. One thing became painfully clear, if I don’t step up, I would lose her.
I walked to the the apartment, not giving any attention to anything or to anyone else around me, it was like nothing around me existed. I didn't want my step brother to have any influence in Emily's mind too. I didn't want to make anything worse either if I had stood there with them, making the conversation unpleasant because I was jealous and I couldn't wait until I was at the apartment to tell her how I truly feel. She isn't really admitting her true feelings to me either. What if she wanted Lucas more than she wanted me?
I didn't want Lucas to even make a move on her either, because knowing Lucas, he can take whatever wanted too, the question was, if I took too long to fight for her, then he would take her right out of my hands, he would take her away from me, and I didn't want that. I shouldn't be wasting time, but to fight if I truly wanted her for good.