Chapter 61
“Yep. I was very late home and had to make up some story that he’d taken me to dinner because no way I could eat. I was a total wreck.”
“How awful. What then?”
“I didn’t sleep. In the morning I told Mom I was quitting lessons with him. She tried to get a reason out of me, but I begged her to let it go and she did. That was just a few months ago.”
Jennalee threw her arms around him and hugged as tight as she could. “I am so sorry he hurt you.”
“Thanks.”
After a minute, she kissed his cheek and then his lips and he responded, but not enough. Easing back, he said, “Let’s go,” and he walked out to the road.
“Shit.” Jennalee sprinted after him. Once beside him, she had no idea what to say. He hadto give her a chance. She’d be so good and hadn’t she gone tomboy for him? Embarrassment started to creep in and she fought it down by wondering aloud how much farther to the inn.
“I’m guessing half or maybe three-quarters of a mile,” Harley said, as if nothing had passed between them when, in fact, he’d cast her aside.
Lost as to what was next, she skipped ahead, then turned to face him, all smiles, as he came to her. “What time do you leave tomorrow?”
“We check out by eleven, but take our time leaving. There’s something fun about watching the others climb back into their lives.”
“I’ll miss you,” Jennalee said, her voice catching when she’d had no intention of showing further emotion.
“Lee,” Harley said softly, sounding almost parental. She bit her lip to stop any tears. “Lee,” he said again.
“I’m okay,” she managed, though her nose was starting to run.
He stopped her, turned her to him, and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Listen to me,” he said, getting totally parental.
“Don’t talk down to me!” she snapped, pulling away and wiping her nose with the back of her hand.
“I hadn’t planned to,” he said. “I just want you to understand.”
“That you don’t like girls? That you don’t like me? I get it, okay? I get it.”
“I do like one girl, one very special girl,” he said, “in every way but one, and that one I can’t help. If I tried to be what you want, we’d both be miserable, I guarantee.”
“How do you know? Have you been with a girl?”
“No, and I think that says a lot.”
“You couldn’t try? I’m really good.”
He smiled. “I don’t doubt it, but it’s not something I can change. I’m attracted to men sexually. Done deal. But that doesn’t mean I can’t love somebody like you. Love doesn’t have to be sexual.”
Jennalee couldn’t believe this, but she kept from saying so. Instead she asked, “Do you love me?”
“How could I not? We’re so much alike and you’re about the most fun person I’ve ever met, plus you’re a fabulous pianist.”
“And if I was a boy, it would be perfect.”
He shook his head and issued a sigh, which was not the right thing for him to do. Jennalee bolted toward another stand of trees, where she began slapping the trunk of an oak. Harley walked over to her. “You do this with your parents when you don’t get your way?” he asked.
“Sometimes.”
“Does it work?”
“Sometimes.”
“You do know,” he said, “you can’t get everything you want in life.”
“I guess.”
“Not good enough. You doknow.”
“Yes, I do know, okay? That doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
“Fair enough,” he said. “But you have to accept how things are between us. No tantrums, no nothing. There’s no choice.”
“Not ever?”
“Not ever.”
“So what happens when you meet the man of your dreams?” she asked.
“You’ll have a new friend.”
“I don’t believe that. You’ll totally forget me.”
“Like I ever could. There is no possible way to forget you, Lee. We’re the best of friends, officially, okay? I want to be around to see how you turn out because I bet you’ll really be something one day, this great pianist wowing them all and sporting a wicked sense of humor and a very cute smile.”
Jennalee shrugged in frustration. “See. That kind of talk makes me want to pounce on you. Here’s where we should be doing it.”
“That’s not a very good frame of mind,” Harley offered. “Happy doesn’t require sex. Happy can stand on its own, even between men and women.”
“You’re sounding like a parent again, or maybe a sex-ed teacher. I likehow boys always want to do it. It’s exciting.”
“No argument there. But maybe it shouldn’t be so automatic.”
Jennalee offered no comment so Harley took her hand, as a good friend would, and led her back onto the road’s edge where they resumed their walk home.