Chapter 60

“Okay,” she said. They stood and started down the hill, Jennalee tingling again. She almost giggled, she was so excited, and as they worked their way back to his parents, she thought of him thrusting between her legs. He’d be more caring than Garth, that much she knew.

“We’re going to walk back,” Harley announced once they’d agreed with his parents that the show had been grand. “See you later.”

He didn’t wait for a response, and Jennalee was surprised neither Lizann nor Earl offered advice on not being out too late or some other parental line. “Your folks are so cool,” she told Harley as they left the park and turned up the road toward the inn. “No bugging you to be careful or not be late.”

“I’m nineteen. They know better, plus they trust me.”

She almost said she did, too, but caught herself because she really had no idea if that was in the mix or even what the mix was. All she knew was she’d soon find out. 18

“It’s like a freeway,” Jennalee said as cars passed them.

“Just going home,” offered Harley. “It’ll thin out in a little while.”

And it did. Half an hour later they seemed the only two inhabitants of the area, going along at an easy pace, road to the right, fields and trees to the left. “Great night,” Harley said.

When they’d gone what Jennalee was certain was a mile without saying much and without Harley pulling her into the bushes to fuck, she spoke up.

“So now that you know me, now that we’ve shared burgers and fireworks, can you tell me why you split with Carroll Fraser?”

Harley issued a sharp laugh. “You certainly know how to ambush a guy.”

“Oh, God, I’m sorry. Really, I didn’t mean to get nosy, but—”

“Relax,” Harley said. “It’s not a problem. You just caught me off guard.”

Relieved, Jennalee gave it a second, then prodded. “So?”

“Sorry. I’ve never explained it to anybody. It’s kind of all over the place, you know?”

“Sure, okay. Take your time.”

When he remained silent too long, it got Jennalee fidgeting inside, which caused her to blurt, “Did he dump you?” which she immediately followed with, “I’m sorry. I’m just super curious.”

“Okay,” Harley said on a long exhale. His pace slowed, like he needed his strength to handle the telling. “I told you how I loved him and when I turned eighteen we started having sex. Well, after a year, when I was nineteen, I found out he was screwing someone else.”

“Oh, no,” Jennalee cut in. “How awful.”

“I couldn’t handle it. It never occurred to me he’d want other people when he had me, plus I’d never been through anything like it because there’d never been anyone else. Just Carroll, love of my life. I didn’t say anything at first, telling myself I didn’t own him, but that was impossible to believe because he owned me, at least I thought so. I got drunk a few times, practicing became torture because it reminded me of him, but I couldn’t stop lessons because Mom would ask what’s wrong and that’s the last thing I needed.”

Jennalee’s heart was breaking on his behalf. She wanted to grab him and hug him, but kept her distance because she needed to know one thing: if it was over with Carroll, wasn’t the coast clear for her? “So what did you do?” she asked.

“It was another student, pianist a year older than me. He was new and I could tell right off something had changed with Carroll and me. We still had our time, nothing different that way, and when we were together like that, I convinced myself everything was okay. Then I’d leave but instead of going home, I’d hang around and Brad would show up. That’s the guy, Brad. He’d be in with Carroll for hours. I don’t know how many times I was late home because I watched his house. Most times I’d give up and go home, feeling worse than ever.”

“So did you finally confront Carroll?”

“Not before I lectured myself on every aspect of sexual freedom. I had no right and knew it, but feelings don’t care about rights. It was months, miserable months, and then one day, not during sex but during my lesson, I stopped playing and just said right out, ‘I know you’re fucking Brad.’”

“What’d he say?” asked Jennalee.

Harley stopped walking. They were near some oak trees and he wandered over under one. Jennalee followed. For once she waited.

“He said good. He said it was healthy for me to know how life and sex work. Stupid me. I couldn’t hold it back. ‘But I love you,’ I said, and he smiled and put his arm around me. ‘Of course you do,’ he said, ‘and I love you, too, but that doesn’t mean we’re in a committed relationship.’ I didn’t know what to say to that. I wanted to cry because he was breaking my heart, and he saw it and took me into his arms, kissed me. You can guess what happened next.”

“Sex,” said Jennalee.