40. Benjamin

40. Benjamin
Jasper POV

"Ben, this is..." I backed away from his kiss, trying to get his attention, wanting him to talk about what had happened earlier.

"You're beautiful as fuck, but I love you more than that. I love your lovely soul, and it hurts to realize that you're trying to deflect our issue with sex." My hands rubbed his waists gently, telling him in silence that I'm there for him.

"But I don't want to talk about it," he was upset, immediately got up from my lap, and went to reach the liquor cabinet. I know that he was taking his antidepressant, and combining the drug with more alcohol after an evening of champagne was worrying me.

"Ben, look at me," I grabbed him and he lets me pull him away from the liquor cabinet.

"I want to dance." He said out of the blue, taking my hand, leading me straight to our bedroom. I know I wouldn't get through to him and talking was a definite fail. So I went with him and waited until he connects his phone to the Bluetooth surround system.

He pushed me to sit by the edge of the bed while he dances, twirls, and starts letting himself go.

God, he is so fucking gorgeous.

My were eyes glued to his body as he slowly strips himself naked, his movement was fluid, his hands traced his sexy lean muscles. I was getting hard when he parted my legs and stand between my knees, taking my hands to cup his ass.

My pants felt tight, my dick throbs with desire and I was trying hard to tame my urges wanting him to lead and take control while my fingers itched to touch his skin, feeling his warmth, and all his eagerness.

Ben was down to his boxer briefs, his thumbs hooked by the seams, teasing me as he lowers down one side while moving his hips to the beat of the music. I can swear my dick twitched to the sight alone and he smirked when I groan.

"Mm...hmm, no baby, stay..." he said seductively, shaking his head, tapping the tip of his fingers chastely on my shoulder.

This guy, damn him... I know that I was falling head over heels for him. I've edged myself for him too many times already, the familiar feeling was there. I was sure that he will reward me with another great orgasm, and I was obedient enough to play along with what he wanted.

He convinced me to get naked, then back to sitting on the edge of the bed. My hot lover had ditched his briefs and straddled my dick. His hands draped on my shoulders while my hands wrapped the small back of his body and kept his chest flat to mine. Our mouths kept on finding their way and our tongues dance taking our lust to another level. My hands moved down to squeeze his ass, while he reaches for the lube and stroked our cocks with a very generous amount of it.

"Ben, baby...I need you." My forehead was to his chest, kissing him, inhaling him, wanting to be inside him desperately until he gave in and ride my erection, making me go wild for him.

He cursed loader and rode me harder until we climaxed much much later after lots of groaning, and calling out each other's name.

It was minutes after we cleaned up, he was resting beside me and I was back to pushing him to talk again. I realized that Dexter was talking trash about Benjamin at an earlier gathering at the Cooper's. I saw the look on people that were circling him, they went quiet the second I walk closer to them. I stared at Dexter but he was giving me his fake smile and back to being flirtatious as always. I know some people thought of Dexter as the office gossip and they usually ignore whatever lies he spread. But somehow the possibility of him smearing Benji's name had me worked up and my brain was thinking of banishing him away to our furthest firm representative office.

Between my mom and now Dexter, the need to wrap Benjamin in a giant protective bubble has been strong. I thought by buying the house will make him feel better, instead, I was pushing him to visit his psychiatrist.

Fuck. I really need him to be okay. Maybe, Phoebe, my gold-digging ex-wife was right all along, maybe I'm not built for a relationship.

"Why won't you talk to me? am I really that bad at this relationship thing? I know I failed before with Phoebe, but I thought we have something. And now, I made you go back to taking antidepressants." My words finally made Benji sit back to the headboard. "Do you want to break up?" I asked while my heart suddenly hurts. I honestly don't know what I'm doing, but I didn't want to force him to stay and medicate himself just to be by my side.

"Jasper, it's not you. I told you it's me."

"Yeah, but you're not like this before me. You're happy, confident and now I broke you. Now you need medication to feel better." I caressed his handsome face, while he took my hand, kissing it gently.

"I don't want to break up, and I told you, it's not my first time I've had antidepressants before, hospitalized for my suicidal thoughts..." my hand stiffens in his hold, my heart breaks for him as I pulled him closer, holding him tight, not wanting to ever let him go. Ever.

"Marry me, let's eloped, let's get away from all of this. We'll take Tara and Allie, let's do this. And if my parents still want me to handle their firm then I'll help, if not I'll set up my own. You're right. I love my job." Benji looked at me like I'd gone mad, but then he cracked a smile and he was teary and nodding his head telling me that he loves me.

"I'm not sure it's a good call for me to ask while you're in a vulnerable state, but fuck this," I leaned in for a kiss and he was opening his mouth letting me taste his smile, his love, and engulfing him in my arms.

"Anytime you want to back away from me, you know I let you right? I don't want to pressure you."

"Yes, yes, Jasper, I'll marry you. Stop talking, more kissing." I gave him what he wants, and we kissed for the longest time.

I know we have a long way to go and I didn't want to give up on us. I realized it was selfish of me to tie him down in marriage. But after his confession about being driven to suicidal thoughts because of his depression, I didn't want him to feel like that any longer. Hopefully, as my husband, he will be more comfortable, and more confident. Deep down I was aware that I love him so much and it'll be only time until I ask him to marry me.

"I'll get my work done by tomorrow," I paused to kiss," and get my PA to reschedule all my meetings." Paused to kiss him again. "I'm taking two weeks off," another pause, making him laugh. "maybe three weeks, hell...I'll Skype every meeting if I have to." I was on top of him, kissing and laughing along with him.

"I can't believe you proposed."

"Why? do you think I have the quality to be a hot single dad and dated men every other week?" he punched my arm playfully and circle his arms to the back of my neck, tugging me down for more kisses. "You are my sexy hot daddy. Soon to be sexy hot husband."

"Mmh...I like the sound of that, should we fast-forward to the wedding night?" Benji let out his sexy laugh, letting his hand falls, and started stroking my length. "I love my needy fiancé," he whispered and I was groaning before we make love for the second time that night.

I regret not asking him to marry me sooner, but I can't wait to start my life with him. Hopefully, I was making the right decision and Phoebe was wrong and I can do this, I can do relationship and be a good husband to Benjamin.