CHAPTER 35: A DIFFICULT CHOICE-5

"You're not," she whispered. He exhaled. "If I could bear the weight of it for you, I would. I would take on anything so that you might be freer, happier, lighter." "No." She shook her head. "You've been through enough. This...this is mine to bear, and I can." She grabbed his hand and laid it across her cheek to lean into it. Her eyes squeezed shut and a tear slid down her face. He wiped it away with his other thumb, then pulled her against him, resting his chin on the top of her head. "What if instead of going alone, you came with me?" she asked. Her voice was muffled against his chest. He had expected the suggestion. "As much as I want to see your world, you cannot ask me to abandon my people to the uncertainty beyond the Gate. Not even for a few days. If anything happened to us..." "They would be without a ruler. I...I understand. She leaned her head back to offer him a sheepish grin. "It was worth a try." "I'm sorry," he whispered. He lifted her off her feet and brought his lips to hers. It took a moment for her to respond, but she did at last, relaxing into him, quelling some of his anxiety. His biggest fear hovered over him like an oppressing cloud of wrath. What if she chose her family over him? What if after coming so close to finding his mate, everything fell apart? As if reading his thoughts, she wrapped her arms about his neck and pushed herself more deeply into his kiss before tugging on his bottom lip as she pulled away. "I'm not going anywhere, Talon," she murmured, rubbing her nose against his. "I told you before and I'll tell you again. You don't have to be alone anymore. I would give up everything, all of it. You know that." Emotion slammed into him, putting a heavy pressure upon his chest. She knew exactly what words he needed to hear. "Even still," he murmured against her lips, "promise me you will think about this. When you give me your final answer, I will know it is genuine. I cannot bear for you to have any future regrets. I may be selfish, but..." He sighed. She took his head in her hands, stroking his cheeks with her thumbs. "I already know what I want, but I...I'll think about it. I promise." "Thank you." He kissed her forehead. She stepped down off his boots and he smiled as he watched her retrieve her goblet and walk back into her quarters. The space beyond the glass danced with the orange glow of candlelight. Retrieving his goblet and crown from the parapet wall, he followed after her. "Another one before the night ends?" She held up the wine bottle, a smile on her face, as if the conversation hadn't happened. "It's not empty yet." "I should probably go." He wanted to stay, but he also felt the toll of their conversation weighing on him. He felt responsible for making things harder on her. She exhaled loudly. "Please don't go, Talon. I'm too worked up to sleep. Stay for one more and sit with me by the fire." She looked at him again in the same way that made him weak. "All right. You win." He nodded and went to her, handing over his goblet. She refilled it then set the bottle down and took his crown from his hand, looking it over before setting it beside the bottle on the wine cabinet. After reclaiming her goblet in one hand and his hand in the other, she led him to the sofa. The fabric of her gown fluffed out around her when she sat down. She looked down at herself she giggled. "I feel like a cupcake sitting in this thing." "A cupcake?" He couldn't help but smile. "As in, a cake that's in a cup?" "You don't know what a cupcake is?!" She screeched, rounding on him. "Tell me you're joking?!" As it turned out, cupcakes were cakes baked in small cups and iced with a heap of frosting. "I have a weakness for cupcakes, actually," she said after explaining them to her. Her voice turned dreamy. "I don't even care what kind. Carrot, German chocolate, vanilla." He put his arm around her, leaning in close. "Is that so?" he murmured against her ear. "Tell me more about these cupcakes then." "It's so. Maybe I should go down to the cookery and speak with the cooks. It's not too late, right?" It was. No one would be cooking at this hour. He kissed the side of her head. "I'm sure cupcakes can wait for tomorrow." "Yes, I suppose so." She leaned against his chest and buried her head in the crook of his shoulder. They stayed like that for a while. She told him about all the foods in her world that she missed. He was happy to sit and let her talk and talk and talk, resting his chin on her head, nuzzling her hair every so often, inhaling her scent. At last she fell quiet. It wasn't until she expelled a gentle snore that he realized she had fallen asleep, emptied wine goblet still in hand. He chuckled, drained the rest of his, then leaned forward to put them both on the table beside the sofa. The movement roused her, but she only offered him a pleased sigh and continued to sleep, no doubt in a wine stupor. A worry line had formed between her eyebrows. He smoothed it with his thumb. Her lips pulled into a tiny smile as she sank deeper against his shoulder without waking. He was tempted to sit that way all night simply so that she could sleep. "You'll probably wake with a stiff neck if I do that," he mused, chuckling. Still, he sat that way for a while longer, listening to her breathing, watching the rise and fall of her chest, taking in the curves of her breasts, tracing her delicate collar bones, chiding himself for the night he could have had if he'd let himself loose. At last, when he saw the first inklings of dawn light breaking through the clouds from the windows, he decided it was time to leave her. He grunted at his lack of self-control. So much for only staying a short while. As he stood, he gently adjusted her so that she was comfortably spread across the sofa. It was difficult with her gown spilling over onto the floor, but he managed, propping a pillow under her head and tossing a blanket over her bare shoulders. She mumbled something but continued sleeping. It made him smile. Leaning over, he softly kissed her lips. Then he stood and strode across the room, paying her one final look before turning to leave. The sight of her stretched across the sofa, peaceful, left him longing to run back to her, but he didn't. His cloak and crown remained where he had left them. He considered retrieving them before a grin spread across his lips. No, better to leave them. That would give her an excuse to come and find him later. So instead, he quietly slipped through the door, leaving her to her dreams.