CHAPTER 35: A DIFFICULT CHOICE-4

She squared her shoulders. "I'm okay with that. If it means being with you, I'll take whatever responsibility life throws at me. Look what I've been through, Talon? I left my home. My family. My world. I've faced you. I've faced the Screamers. Eagle and his men. The Vodar. Fort Squall. I think I can handle responsibility if I put my mind to it." He chuckled at her defiance. "Yes, Claire, you can do anything you put your mind to." "Exactly." She lifted her chin. "So if you think I'm going to abandon our mate bond simply in fear of what I might be required to do, you're mistaken." His heart soared high over the clouds as if he were flying, but the feeling was short-lived. "Even...even if it means that you can never go home? That you will never see your family again?" Her eyes widened a measure. She opened her mouth to respond before closing it. "What are you saying?" she said at last. It wasn't fair. She shouldn't have had to choose between him or her family. But nothing about ruling had ever been fair. "I know how much you miss everyone you love." His words were gentle. "You once begged me to let you go home, and I refused. I've kept you here for your safety, but also because I'm selfish. None of this is fair. Yet, neither can I allow you to leave. Not yet. Not until Kane is defeated. Not until I know he won't chase you through the Gate and use you against me. But when this is all over and Kane is defeated, I have every intention of allowing you to return home, even though it will hurt me irrevocably." "What are you saying?" The color left her face. "You...you want me to leave? But I thought..." "Gods, woman! No, I don't want you to leave! But I also cannot keep you here against your will. Especially when you wish to return home." "But, but I don't want to go home. Not yet, anyway." "You don't?" He lifted his eyebrows. A measure of hope took form in his heart. "You don't want to see your family again? Your friends?" "I..." Her eyebrows pulled together. A frown exploded across her features. Then her shoulders sagged, and she came over to lean against the parapet beside him. "I mean, I thought maybe I could go back to say goodbye. But I couldn't actually live there again. I'm...I'm part Sprite, Talon. And with Cyrus, with everything—" She shook her head. "My place is here." "I see." He forced his lips to stay put even though her words made him want to smile with joy. He couldn't show it at a heavy moment like this. She was finally beginning to understand what she would give up if she chose to be with him. That was not something to be happy about. "Why couldn't I just pop through the Gate for a few days to say goodbye? Why must accepting our bond mean I must be alienated from my family?" He sighed, thinking carefully about his words. "If you become queen, the people of Dragonwall become your chief priority, one you cannot simply abandon for a few days. Moreover, as Dragonwall's queen, you possess a great deal of power, a great deal of control over our world. You simply give a command and others will follow it." "So...?" "If you travel through the Gate, your control stays here. It will not follow. If you go back, can you promise that you will maintain total authority in your world?" He studied her expression, then added, "Answer me honestly." "Of course I will." She answered too quickly. "Okay, maybe not with everything." Her fingers were clasped in front of her. She picked at her thumbnail, looking down. He tried to read her. "There might be some risk involved." "How so?" "There are forces more powerful than me in my world, even with my magic. Police and military. Technology. Things that I have no say in. I would have to slip in and out undetected. I would have to be careful to avoid anything that might detain me. I wouldn't be able to tell anyone about the Gate for fear that they'd call me crazy, or worse, try and find it. But they would ask. My parents would ask. The police—who are probably searching for me this very minute—would ask where I had been. I would need a good story." Her face changed as the realization crashed down around her. He nodded. "My point stands. Unless you can promise that there is no risk involved, I cannot allow you to become queen and then turn around and put your life in danger. Once you are queen, your life no longer belongs to you." "As Dragonwall's queen, I become a servant to my people," she whispered. "I...I know." A loud sigh escaped her lips. "You see now. It is no simple matter. There is a difficult choice ahead of you. And you may believe you know the answer right now, in this moment, but if you give it, I wouldn't trust it. I could not, in good faith, accept it. An answer like this takes time and consideration. I want you to think about your future, about what you want. I want you to think about what I'm asking of you. It isn't fair. Little that pertains to ruling is fair. Ruling is selfless. Anyone who believes otherwise doesn't make a good ruler." He reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I feel like a monster for imposing this difficulty upon you." He held his breath as his eyes roved over her face. "Am I?"