Chapter 43 I'll be good next time
Arianna's POV
Maybe in his previous life, he was a detective or anticipates to be one now.
Even though I was being serious, his actions made me feel I was unserious and my evaluation of earlier seem nothing compared to his.
Judging from his description, analysis, facts and event, it felt like a great war when it was just a minor action needed.
Ivan wouldn't have any backups or men to fight for him if a fight erupt. The cops would be there to take him away.
It played out well in my head. I reveal the plan, he gets arrested, he releases my property and everything ends.
It was easy as that and so I saw no reason why he'd sketch a building plan, bisecting where the enemies would be positioned at.
He was quite funny, arriving at the same answer and conclusion. Now I see even the police force would not accept him.
His mappings were bad and frustrating. I tried not to laugh as he brings up how I should walk into the company, how I should smile, the guest I'd meet and how tough i should appear.
If this was a joke, I wasn't really liking it. I rubbed my eyes and yawn feeling drowsy as he speaks.
He snaps his fingers every seconds I draft away just to keep me awake.
The only thing that keeps me awake was his face which was quite admirable.
He was explaining how enemies could be at every corner of the occasion and how I should be alert.
I faked a smile but then it was replaced by sadness as I blamed myself for what happened to my mother.
The memories keeps surging in and I felt scared, hated myself and desired to disperse. His words weren't getting to me again.
I wasn't worth her love, if only I wasn't blinded by her love. Cold flushes through me as my face turns pale.
I desired to leave the room, not minding the man in front of me, his words and how I'd make a grand entrance.
He was opposite me but then nothing of what he says matters anymore.
I shut my eyes and intended to walk away but then he held my hand and drew me closer to him.
My body was an inche closer to his as he inhales and clench his teeth. His eyes had worries and I ponder who they were for.
"I guess I'm bad at keeping your mind off her death" he mutters as his tone was low and had an emotion called sadness.
Tears brew up in my eyes as I bluff my cheeks and then scoff before nodding my head to confirm to his words.
I guess he only brought up the board issue just to keep me at peace. Wasn't he just the perfect man?
I tried to avoid his gaze as I suddenly wanted privacy, to think about my mistake and hate myself.
"I'm sorry, i'd try to be good next time" he apologized and I sniffed fighting my tears as I shoved his hands away.
It wasn't his fault, I just didn't want to forget about the past and what I gave done. To me I was her killer for not trusting her words.
It wasn't something that was easy to let go and I desire to be locked up somewhere.
He wouldn't leave me as he held me by the arms this time around and said;
"It's okay, let it out Arianna, don't bottle it in" he beckons and I shudder, breathing so hard.
Tears stream from my eyes as my lips shook. He spread his arms at me and said;
I found myself embracing him as I buried my head on his chest, weeping and shaking in pains.
His arms went around my back while mine settled on his waist. His unwaivering warmth encompasses me.
He made me free with myself and I could cry as much as I wanted in his arms. His hands stroked my back gently and then he fondle my hair.
I didn't want to break out of him warm embrace and poured out everything in my heart, like a devastated child.
"I killed her Rav, I'm such a bad daughter, I should have listened, I should have just given her the chance" I muffled feeling so heavy and broken as I soaked his shirt.
"Stop blaming yourself Arianna, it isn't your fault" he comforted trying to make calm but i just wouldn't as i perceived myself as a bad person.
The thought of Ivan lurks in my head and I felt like driving a spear into his heart or bursting his head or better still burning him, along with his family.
"How about we pay her a visit?" He whispers. I raised my head, fret at his words and feeble to give a response.
I agreed to his words as we would be visiting the cemetery. He jokingly asked if he needed to chose a clothing for me but I refused.
I got dressed quickly, although feeling reluctant and scared that I'd be visiting her grave.
We both wore coat as it was a cold evening. Something to keep us warm. The cold breeze was harsh, blowing off the lapels of our coats and our hair.
He droved me to the cemetery field. A place I haven't visited in a long time. How pathetic I was, to forget to come around where should be important to me.
No one would want me for a daughter because it seems I'm not what they want. I will only bring heartbreaks and set backs.
I wasn't good enough, ravyen had just reminded me the important of family and I had to muster up courage to speak to her grave.
How would I face her. After a bit of emotional motivations from him which I think he should try becoming a motivational speaker because his listeners would end up committing suicide, I stepped out the car.
He stretched his hand forward to me and I grabbed it as he walked me to where her grave laid.
I didn't want to appear jinxed to how he knew her grave and didn't even stress in recognizing it.
He knew so much and I just assumed it was because of his influence. To my surprise, I was still yet to learn about him, his family if he had one.