Chapter 60: Off From Shackles

The Demon’s Love

Chapter 60: Off From Shackles

Amari’s

“You’re really pathetic. I’ve seen this very same face and expression, yet it still feels aggravating.” Its dreadful, shameless tone revibrated into my ears, and I bit my lower lip.

If I said more, I’d get madder as time passed. I need to know that Darkness where to poke someone where it hit straightly. However, I seemed to have underestimated its power while I crushes into an unknown ground then I cough as soon as I met the ground. It was definitely painful but it’s not like I could whine or show my weakness.

I still hit it a few times which weren’t light at all. I’ve used seemingly all of my power just to hit it to its eye to which I succeeded once. If I could hit it three consecutive times, I could prospect my pleasant future. I frowned while the Darkness swirled inside in this space with me.

I need to escape before I completely get killed. I groaned, forcing myself to sit up. I had expected this much yet experiencing it on-hands were absolutely quite… remarkable. I wished I had no similar experiences in the future as well. I grunted, staggering while I tried to stand up my own.

I released a deep exhaled then I swallowed my blood. Really, my blood had become my water, is this even possible? My sword disappeared as I wished it to, then I weakly chanted a spell. The Darkness seemed to have caught up to what I was doing and before it could react, I drew the spell hastily.

“Duchess!”

“Master!”

“Yula, are you all right? What did that jerk did to you?!”

“Duchess, we were so concerned! What had happened to you?”

“Shut up. Master is weak, you too, Zaren. Hand her over to me.”

I heard worried voiced resonating in my ears, but I was too weak to even whine or tell a lie that I was alright. Under the pretense of I was all right, I wouldn’t have gotten them worried of nothing. I did nothing but fight Darkness. It was half failure and success.

I forcefully lifted my hand, as if relaying that I was all right, but Zaren had a different mindset. Faintly, I could feel blood for him – it was a stench I knew despite of it being faint. Was he hurt? I wanted to know if he was all right and everything but knowing my current situation, I am not even possible of opening my eyes and tell him that I was sorry.

It was also not my knowledge why I was sorry and the reason of being apologetic. I had to have a cause for me to be apologetic, but nothing popped into my mind. I was perhaps sorry that he had to accompany in this unknown journey. It was specially my greed to knowing what Darkness was, its appearance, even to how am I able to control its power.

**

I was weak. How long have I been unconscious and lying in this bed? I got up from the hard bed which were filled with soft clothes which actually didn’t make it a soft bed. I don’t mind it, rather, I was again worried of whoever was willing enough to lend me their clothes while I laid unconscious. I rather found it laborious that they had to make these small sacrifices for me when I was the reason some of the knights were injured.

Hopefully no one was dead. Please.

I was reluctant whether to open this partition, anxious that there was no other than me. When did it happen that I have relied fully on Zaren and Rymond? When did I became vulnerable, hapless before them when I was supposedly strong and fearless? What has happened to me to feel this way? Am I really… deserving of the affection giving to me after all those things I had made them underwent into?

No. So why am I still holding on to Zaren? I was precisely aware that he loves me dearly, but he had to go this process just for me? Am I befitting of this?

“You’re awake?”

I shook my head, clenching my fists, attempting to breathe steadily.

“… Don’t come near me.”

I was conflicted. Am I merely using Zaren’s affection, or do I really love him? Upon knowing I went into another world; I was mindful of everything and everyone. Hearing Zaren’s confession warmed and woke me up that someone loves and cared for me. Yet I… didn’t even give something that’s equal to his unwavering affection for me.

“Why, is there something wrong? Where do you feel unwell? Are you sore anywhere, I am good at massage.”

I looked at Zaren, then averted it briefly after.

“D-did you take care of me while I was sick?” I half-embraces myself, stepping back as he approached me.

“Mhm. Don’t be so shy, I’ve seen and touched everything. No one came here except Rymond who consistently checked up on your condition. Fortunately, enough, your condition wasn’t that risky and serious. After a few days, you were fine. Can you give me a hug, I was really… anxious you wouldn’t wake up”, after already trapping me inside his arms, I was helpless seeing him sweetly smile at me, “I was so worried about you. You didn’t even wake up when I tried to feed you.”

I lowered my head, “I’m fine. Can you… make way for me?”

“Are you really not going to look longer at me?” It was a voice, genuinely caring yet dejected. The silence engulfed up awkwardly and decelerated manner, it felt suffocating. Slowly, his arms loosened with a deep exhale. Upon turning his back at me, he offered me a soup.

“Rymond cooked it for you”, I glanced up at him, witnessing how his expression was badly hurt. I lifted my hand, seeing the wound on his face, but he grabbed my wrist, halting my intention. With a wistful smile, he resumed, “don’t concern. Rymond has already helped me with it.”

“But there’s still a wound, I can—”

“Yula…” my eyes faltered but I couldn’t utter a word, “rest first. Also, Rymond told me what you had gone through inside Darkness’s power. I apologize for being unable to lend a hand. Moreover, after we have succeeded in this mission, I won’t restrain you from doing anything.”

I frowned, couldn’t understanding him then he lowered my hand. “What are you…”

“I’m saying if you don’t want me anymore, if you have felt tired being with me, and you’ve used all remaining affection you had for me, you can divorce me all you want.”

“Zaren, that’s not—”

“I’ve given you time you needed which I thought was adequate. I’ve seen, touched and felt you, I loved you dearly and every time you faltered, I tried everything. I’ve said those words not only because they were sweet. Rather, because it was the only thing I could do. I would have done physical intimacy, yet I discovered I was the only one wanting it….”

“I’m hard to understand. I know… I’m sorry that you had to put up in this kind of relationship with me. I just… I was worried you’d disappear if I try to tell you everything.”

He shook his head, “Ever since I saw you, I knew exactly you want me. I was aware you were of different identity, but I didn’t dislike you. I was unknowingly attracted to you. I apologize for my impulsive actions; I should have known that you were only trying to get it on with me due to guilt.”

My tears fell while hearing him said such words. No, no… I was wrong.

“No, give me more time Zaren. I was wrong…”

He looked into my eyes, “I gave you the time, and you used it. I’ve been contemplating whether what you should need, and it brought me to realization that it’s not time you need but for the shackles off of you. Therefore, from here, at this current time, I proclaim your freedom. It’s your choice to remain here and help us or leave.”

“Zaren, listen to me.”

“Yula… I love you but if our relationship doesn’t get well, we’ll eventually get exhausted and before we knew it, everything would be hard to resolve. This is your time, the time you want is off from everyone. Yula, you’re free.”