“Alex's point of view"
Her leg brushed mine and I struggled to keep my focus on the road and drive us home. Home —the both of us.
She sighed softly resting her head on my shoulder, I glanced down at her.
Something was happening between the both of us, something I can't place my hand on.
Something I can't explain. It's happening.
This was getting more than just a marriage of convenience, we were fighting something else.
I knew the dread that filled my stomach seeing Ben walk in, knowing Leila was still in there.
I was scared for her and the urge to protect what's mine, overwhelmed me. Her voice was calm when she spoke to me.
She's a strong woman, who knew what she was doing. But she's still a woman and that doesn't count.
The day we married was the day she was given to me —to protect. Fake or not. She'd becomed my duty and I wasn't about to watch her get hurt under my nose.
And that includes ruining the plan and even fighting with Ben. I was ready to do anything.
Deep down, I knew it went beyond just protection. I was falling for Leila.
My hands tightened around the steering wheel.
I wanted to trust her that he did nothing, but there was something. She did something before she was able to leave there, unharmed.
I wondered why she wouldn't share it with me.
Ease washed over me when I kissed her, it was the only way I could know she was really okay.
It was the only way we'd know we were both okay.
I wasn't about to let another woman get hurt under my watch. My heart constricted inside of me as I thought of that day.
The day, I lost one and lost myself too.
“There's something about Ben" Leila said snapping me out of my thoughts. She raised her head from my shoulder staring at me.
I glanced at her. Her eyes. Goodness, her eyes. They watched me like they were meant to always be on me, searching, trying to unravel the mystery that was —me.
“What is it?" I asked taking the turn leading us to the street that my house was located.
She hesitated, wondering.
“He has a book, and in there he writes the dates and names of people he'd killed" she muttered and I raised a brow.
" My Aunt's name was there with the date of her death and it was all in Ben's writing”
That was —wow.
" So he keeps a journal about those he'd murdered?" I probed and sh shuddered lightly like she was feeling cold.
I needed to touch her, anyhow.
I placed one of my hand on her thigh, silently waiting for the rejection but she relaxed under my touch.
That was a good one. Progress.
“They were so many names" she said dazed. I stroked her thigh with my thumb and she shivered.
At least, it wasn't from cold but —my touch. It brought a strange delight to me.
Christ, I was a goner.
“Ben, he's a murderer" I whispered reaching for the remote control and pressing it, we watched as my gate pulled open.
I drove in, taking us to the garage.
Unfortunately, I had been a victim and my —
I shook my head, it's painful recalling that night. I hated the memories, if it was possible, I was ready to get it off my mind.
Switching off the ignition, none of us made a move to go out. Maybe, we were scared our little moment would shatter once we were out there.
My hand remained on her thigh.
“I saw a few names," she said quietly and I turned to her. Her face looked worried with a mixture of surprise.
“There'd been a little girl, he killed a girl the day he killed my Aunt and—” she stared up at me.
Long lashes fluttering.
“He wrote the way he'd used in killing his victims" Realization washed over her.
" He killed my Aunt by choking her to death, that's why there was no trace of injury on her body” she muttered.
I placed an arm around her. I recognized it. It was pain, in her eyes.
“Her last moments must have been painful” she whispered. Please tell me she wasn’t about to cry. I had no idea what to do or expect with women. That’s why I spent a minimum time around Tammy.
Women were different. Something we needed to study and understand.
“It’s okay, we will make sure to get justice for her” I said hoping it was comforting enough. She sighed, looking at me.
Like she was expecting something. What could I possibly have to offer her? I leaned down brushing my lips over hers, in a feathery kiss. Her lips parted lightly, I took her up on the invitation.
Kissing her was slowly become one of my best things. God, she was messing me up. I had no idea, how she felt. One moment, she was looking at me, like I was her all and then in the next, she was shut out and cold.
I had no idea. I don’t want to be tangled up in this marriage of a thing.
I pulled back abruptly. She blinked at me, probably surprised trying top guage my thinking and maybe she did because I saw hurt flash briefly in her eyes. She looked away from me and damn me, if I didn’t feel guilty.
Opening the door, I stepped out, turning around to open her side but she was faster than me, climbing out, herself.
“I’ll be up in my room” she said walking ahead of me, leaving me to my guilt. She was back to the woman I entered a marriage with, not the one who was beginning to warm up to me.
I messed up, big time.
***
An hour passed, and then two and three, I sat up on my bed. I couldn’t sleep. I climbed off the bed, pulled my curtains open and stared down at the city. The sun was already setting.
I haven’t seen Leila ever since she walked out, I’d tried convincing myself, what we needed was space. But I didn’t have peace of mind knowing she might be pissed with me.
And the last mood she’d been in wasn’t exactly helping matters. I grabbed my shirt donning it on and managed to wear some pants before walking out of my room.
Somehow, we’d gotten separate rooms when we arrived. We were okay sharing a room in Casablanca but guess this was the harsh reality and truth about our marriage – fake.
Her room was just two doors away from mine, one of them being my study and the other, my private library.
I hesitated, before knocking. I was worried about what I was going to see, if she was back to the Leila I knew or if she was still the woman who was making me trip.
When she opened the door, what I saw dragged the air out of my lungs. Leaving me empty, high, dry – and not breathing.
She tilted her head, her eyes curious trying to fathom what I was thinking but the truth was. I wasn’t fucking thinking anything, just trying to figure out what was in front of me.