Chapter 58 A justification for staying
Silence descended upon the room as Anabelle finally drew away from Fred. The silence had changed to something else. Not with a lot of pain but with a delicate serene silence.
Annabel remained slumped against the headboard her body a tiny dejected figure. Fred took a seat on the beds edge. He was a quiet steady presence. Neither did he push nor pry. He was just there.
The only light was the dim glow coming from the corridor. Abruptly the silence was broken by a sharp buzz.
Annabel's phone on the bedside table began to vibrate. On the wall a square of light flashed. She flinched. She didnt shift. The buzzing resumed. And then a third time.
Fred watched her closely.With every vibration her shoulders became rigid. He recognized it. She ignored it repeatedly. The buzzing ceased. Her body appeared to relax for a brief instant.
A new sound then started, a steady long ring. It was still Carson. The small space was filled with the ringtone. Even though the sound was upbeat and cheery it felt harsh and inappropriate.
Only one ring was heard. Twice. . . Annabel didn’t reach for it. She just paid attention to something else. Her knuckles were white as she clenched her hand into a fist. It stopped after a few rings.
A brief alert for a text message chimed. She wouldnt acknowledge the sound either. Freds gaze shifted from the phone to her back. He sensed the anguish radiating from her.
She didn't require additional anxiety. She only needed a moment to catch her breath. a peaceful moment. He was aware that he needed to take action.
Gradually he got up. A small creak came from the bed. Once more Annabel's body became rigid. He went over to the bedside table. The glowing phone was covered by his big hand. He took it up. She refused to object.
The warmth of her phone against his palm represented all of her problems. He hit the power switch. The screen grew dark. He tucked it into his jeans pocket.
At last she looked up. Her eyes were swollen and red. With a tiny unpolished whisper she questioned “What are you doing?”
“Giving you some breathing space.” he said quietly.
He did not return the phone. He simply took a seat on the bed once more getting a little nearer to her. He grabbed her hand. His was limp and cold.
She said in a shaky voice “I'm not in the mood.”
“Well.” he said. “Because I am.”
He gave her hand a light squeeze. “Did you hear the news of the two antennas getting married? The reception was fantastic but the ceremony was rather dull.”
Annabel maintained her composure. She simply gazed at him through her teary swollen eyes. He didn’t give up.
Fred inquired “What do you call a fish without eyes?”
She shook her head slowly “A fish. Nothing else.”
Fred sighed. He had to try again. He could not abandon her in this manner. She had to be reached. He needed to get her back.
Again he tried his voice a soft hum “Why did the tomato turn red?”
Then she inhaled. A little shaky breath. “I'm not sure Fred since it noticed the salad dressing.”
She let out a small breath. Not a laugh. However it was close. And he continued. “Why do scientists not believe in atoms?”
She simply gazed at him. She was beginning to pay attention. She had stopped turning away. Progress was made there. Because everything is made up of them.
A glimmer of happiness. It was a ghost of an expression so faint. He was aware of his progress. He simply needed to keep going. Gently.
With a note of curiosity in her voice she questioned “Why do we never tell secrets in a cornfield?”
“Because too many people are listening.” He answered
She chuckled. The sound was so soft and so fragile but it was there. It was a lovely sound. The sound of her return was heard.
“All right it's my turn.” she said raising her voice slightly. “What would result from crossing a vampire and a snowman?”
“I'm not sure. What?”
“Frostbite.” Fred gave a deep rolling laugh. It permeated the silent space.
“That is an excellent one. I understand.” she uttered her lips finally meeting a genuine smile. It is considered a classic.
He sat there staring at her for a while. The tears had stopped. Her body was no longer a tight ball. He stood next to her as a man and she was merely a girl on a bed.
He was content. Just seeing her smile and being there with her brought him a great sense of calm. Slowly her smile dimmed. Her face took on a serious expression once more.
“Fred?” she inquired.
Indeed the words struck him like a kick to the stomach. “Do you think… do you think I should go back?”
His heart was tense. He took a moment to respond. He simply gazed at the unadulterated vulnerability in her eyes. He wanted to yell. He wished to refuse her. He desired for her to stay here with him. He desired for her to always be safe in his presence.
However that was self-centered. He was aware that he needed to be truthful. He had to provide for her necessities. Not his preference. He gulped.
“I dont have the right to decide that.” He answered .
“I understand.” she uttered, her voice once more low.
As he considered Carson he asked himself But what would you do?
“What do you think I should do?” She asked again .
He pondered the irate remarks made at the bar. the expression on his face as he walked away. He considered the man who was split in two. He considered how hurt Annabel was.
The agony was still very real. But he could also see in her eyes how much she loved Carson. That remained. It still had strength.
“Do you still love him?” Fred inquired.
A new type of tears welled up in her eyes. Confusion not pain.
“Yes.” She said in a trembling voice. “I love him. I do. But… I don’t know if I can do it.”
“You're not getting married to his mother.” Fred stated in a firm yet kind voice. “You’re going to wed him. And you must stand by him if you truly love him.”
Annabel looked at him her gaze searching his face for any hint of a lie.
“Are you certain?”
“No.” he acknowledged. “Absolutely not. I have no knowledge whatsoever. I have no idea whats happening between you two. I am aware though that you are not a quitter. You never give up on important things. You return if he is important to you. You have to face it. You express your feelings to him then watch what he does.”
A tear slipped down her cheek. “What if he chooses her, what if he chooses to follow his mother's words?”