Chapter 49 Making a call
The silence was a heavy thick blanket. It choked me. I felt alone once more just as I had before Carson came but this time the loneliness was a searing painful ache.
The cold impersonal room was a reflection of my own heart.
I had lost the hope I had held onto. It had gone with Carson and now all that was left was an empty wide ache. My body was still curled up on itself when I sat up on the bed.
When the tears finally stopped my eyes were raw and burning. I desperately wanted to talk to anyone who wasnt in this house.
I reached for my phone a tiny well-known lifeline in this strange place but my hand shook. After looking through my contacts I came across his name: Fred.
The first ring was his answer. “Annabel?”
His voice was a welcome relief from the cold air surrounding me. “I was just thinking about you. Is everything alright?”
Tears came and went again. I tried not to break my voice as I sniffed. “No. No Fred I'm not fine.”
“ You seem to have been crying. What happened?”
I took a deep breath finding it hard to talk because of the lump in my throat. “We have left the apartment. I went with Carson to his family house.”
In a cautious tone Fred repeated “His familys house?”
“She came.Victoria. She simply informed us that we were leaving when she arrived at the apartment.”
“His mother?”
“Yes. And Fred she is a monster.”
On the other end I could hear him sigh. “Horrible, what did she do?”
“She simply referred to me as that girl Fred. That I was like a poor college student she said. She went on to say that Carson had sophisticated taste and she was trying to know how he…”
My voice broke as the memory stung me again.
“She simply swept her disdainful gaze over me. Fred I felt so tiny.”
“Annabel please relax. Take a deep breath.”
I did, taking a ragged shaky breath that did nothing to stop my hands from shaking. “And then Carson… he didn't stand up for me. He simply sat there. He told me to make an effort to get along with her.”
“He said that?” Fred asked in a low angry rumble.
“She was more important to him than I was and he said he had to do anything to make her happy. . how I feel.”
The whole thing. At this point my words were coming out in a blur of agony and shock.
“I was incredibly stupid to believe that he would defend me. I mistakenly believed that he was on my side.”He is with her. On hers he has always been.”
“What did you do?”
“I simply left. I couldn't remain there. I was really ashamed.”
I closed my eyes still stinging from the memory.
“All I wanted to do was go away. Then he came in. He pretended to apologize to me. He then left. He simply walked out.”
Fred was silent for a while.
He was breathing and I could tell he was worried because he was silent.
“Annabel listen to me. You're not to blame. You are not to blame for this.”
“It seems to be. I ought to have been more aware. I should have anticipated her behavior. She wants me to go. Im positive she does.”
“Perhaps. Butyou will not allow her disrespect you. Do you understand?”
I didn’t immediately respond.
“I'm not sure. Fred I'm exhausted. I simply cant stand fighting any longer. I'm not sure if I'm capable.”
“You can. Don't be like her. Keep your cool and don't react to her. She wants that She wants you to break.”
“I believe I've already broken.” I said in a quiet dejected murmur.
“No you haven't. Just dont let her enjoy getting to see it. You’re not like that. You are more resilient than that.”
“He should be on my side so how can I be strong when he wont even defend me? I should be able to rely on him.”
The final words were a quiet cry.
“I Know. It's an awful feeling. Annabel I sincerely apologize. I really am.”
“I just want to leave so bad.”
“I understand. You went there for him though so you must have a reason for being there. You now need to determine whether that is still a valid reason. I have no idea anymore.”
“All right. Just take a breath. Now just take a breath. Don’t respond to any of her other comments. You treat her like a bug when she says something. Do you hear me?”
I gave a shaky laugh. “Yes.”
“All right. I am here now. In any case. You only need to give me a call. Give me a call if you need to vent. I'm your man all you need is for me to pose as a hitman and threaten Victoria.”
The second shaky laugh seemed a bit more genuine after I said “I think youd enjoy that a little too much.”
“Perhaps. Just a bit. But take it seriously. I'm present here. Just avoid making any regrettable decisions. such as expressing your true feelings for her.”
“I don't think I'm strong enough.”
“Then youre ahead of the game. Please disregard her. Act as if she doesn't exist. Act as if she is merely an unpleasant ghost that haunts the place.”
Then I sighed waterily. “I’m grateful Fred. Without you I'm not sure how I would manage.”
“You would be alright. You're Annabel. You've been able to manage yourself all along.”
Fred’s soothing voice helped soothe my jangled nerves. He didn't pass judgment instead he listened and understood.
All I needed at that moment was for him to simply let me be myself.
I said softly “I feel a little better.I appreciate you listening.”
“At any moment. Get some rest now. You will need it.”
“Nothing in my opinion will ever help me feel better about this.”
“Give it some time.”
The hollowness persisted even though I felt somewhat lighter. I was still in this gilded cage in this house in this room. I was still by myself.
I gazed at the door where an hour before Carson had been standing.
A part of me knew I couldn't stay here since he had abandoned me.
The silence was then broken by a soft knock on the door. My heart skipped a beat.