Chapter 47 The Dining Table
The chilly balcony air pricked my skin. Even after I closed the glass doors the cold persisted when I returned inside
I could sense it in my bones. In the silence of the room I sensed it.
The temperature had nothing to do with the cold. In order to melt the ice inside of me I had to move to the bathroom and feel the warmth of the shower.
It felt good to have a hot bath.
For a while, I stood beneath the stream allowing it to cleanse me of the dirt from the lengthy trip and the uneasiness that had been holding me back.
After stepping out, I wrapped a soft white towel around my body and used a second one to gently massage my damp hair.
The sterile immaculate bathroom was immaculate. It didn't feel like home but rather like a hotel.
There was a gentle knock on the door. I went icy. I was reluctant to speak to anyone. I hoped they would simply disappear.
This time the knock was a bit louder. With a sigh I approached the door. With the towel still wrapped around my hair.
I cracked it open just enough. It was a young maid with a mask of courteous neutrality covering her face.
“Excuse me ma'am.” she said quietly. “Dinner is ready. Mr. Carson is already seated as is Madam Victoria.”
With hardly more than a whisper I said “Thank you. I'll be right down.”
She nodded slightly before turning to leave. With a feeling of dread overtaking me I shut the door.
I was reluctant to leave. I wished to remain in this room indefinitely. However I couldnt. Carson was standing by. I had to accept that I was here for him.
I took my time putting on my clothes. I didn't want to enter the lions den too quickly. I put on a basic black t-shirt and a pair of faded old jeans.
I didn't use makeup. I realized that I couldn't hide my fatigue when I looked in the mirror at my pale face and weary eyes. With my hair still slightly damp I let it fall naturally.
I had no intention of trying to impress anyone. All I wanted to do was be myself. It felt like I was marching to my own death as I made my way downstairs.
The opulent staircase that had previously seemed so magnificent now felt like a stage. As I descended I could feel the servants silent gazes.
I didn't take my eyes off the marble floor. The sound of soft conversation led me to the dining room.
The room was spacious and centered around a long glossy mahogany table.
Victoria was seated at the head with her hands clasped on the table and her back as straight as a ruler.
To her right was Carson.
A glimmer of relief crossed his face as he looked up as I walked in. Without delay he pulled out the chair beside him and stood up.
“Annabel.” He said with a kind greeting.
Victoria sat still. She gave me absolutely no acknowledgement.
The chair made a slight scrape against the marble floor as I sat down. After Carson took a seat again the room fell into a thick silence. It pervaded the air.
While serving a meal I didn't want, servers moved silently around the table. My hands were shaking when I picked up my fork.
Victoria's eyes were on me even though I tried to concentrate on the food on my plate.
The food tasted like ash in my mouth when I took a bite.
I placed my hands clasped in my lap and set down my fork. The silence was broken by Victoria’s tiny courteous clearing of her throat.
“So.” she said purring softly. “I have to confess Annabel that I was hoping for something a bit. . . different. You appear to be an impoverished college student.”
I didn't respond.
“Has Carson not been looking after you?”
I simply continued to look at my hands. I didnt want her to notice that my cheeks were getting hotter.
I just took a sip of water. With a false sense of concern in her voice she inquired
“Did you attend any university at all?What did you study? Since you can't even afford a decent outfit I doubt it was anything noteworthy.”
Carson clattered loudly as he set down his fork. He growled softly as he said “Mother that's enough.”
Victoria merely chuckled.
The sound was icy and acrid.
“Oh son, calm down. I am merely engaging in conversation. My son has always had such sophisticated taste so I'm just trying to figure out how he came to have this…”
Her gaze swept over me with contempt. The statements resembled daggers.
One by one I could feel them settling into my flesh. I was itching to scream. Running was what I wanted to do. My plate of food looked awful.
The air was heavy. My chest was constricted. I was at my breaking point.
My chair slammed back from the table and the loud sound reverberated throughout the quiet room. My hands were clenched into fists at my sides as I got to my feet.
“I apologize.” I said trembling. “My appetite seems to have vanished.”
I didn't hold out for a response. I walked away after turning.
I heard the floor graze, Carson's chair.
He yelled after me “Annabel hold on!”
I paid him no attention. I simply continued to walk picking up speed. I had to leave this house from her and from this oppressive sensation.
When I heard Victoria's voice I had nearly reached the door.
Her voice was low and smug as she said “Come on son. Do not tell me that you will allow me to eat by myself because of that…girl?”
The word struck me like a fist. “That girl.”
My eyes ached from tears. I did not go back. I simply ran. With tears running down my cheeks I bounded up the stairs.
I slammed the door behind me as I ran until I was back in my sterile cold room. It was imperative that I leave her.
I had to leave the room where she was laughing. I had to leave the place where I was called ‘That girl.’