Chapter 127 Where I belong

Chapter 127 Where I belong
Casey’s POV

We stayed beside his car for a while without saying anything. I didn't know how long but Chris didn't seem to care. He didn't ask me whether I was ready to go home, whether I wanted to see Michael again, or whether I'd decided what I was going to do about Alexander and Victoria.
He simply stayed and that was what I needed. Not answers and not advice just someone who wasn't afraid of my silence.
Eventually, I pulled away from him and wiped my face. "I look terrible."
Chris looked at me. "You look like you've been crying."
"That's because I have."
"Then I guess the evidence is pretty strong."
I laughed softly.
He smiled. "Come on."
"Where?"
"My parents' house."
I immediately shook my head. "No."
"Why?"
"Because everyone will be there." I said.
"Probably." He shrugged.
"And I don't want everyone asking me questions."
"They won't." He assured.
I gave him a look. "There is one person who might.”
He considered that. "Okay, Grandma Betty might."
I laughed. "Exactly."
"But she'll survive."
"And if she doesn't?" I asked.
"Then we'll blame Noah."
I smiled despite myself.
He opened the passenger door. "Come on."
I hesitated. "I don't really want to be alone."
His expression softened. "Then don't be."
I climbed into the truck. Chris walked around to the driver's side and got in and for the first few minutes, neither of us spoke. The city passed outside the window. I watched buildings disappear behind us while my mind wandered somewhere else entirely.
"Chris?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I ask you something?" I asked.
"Anything."
"What would you do?" I wanted advice because this was all new to me.
He looked at me. "About what?"
"If you found out everything you believed about your family was wrong."
He was quiet for a moment. "I'd probably be angry."
"You're not angry?" I asked.
"I am."
I looked at him. "At who?"
His jaw tightened. "I don't know yet."
That answer surprised me. "You're not angry at me?"
He gave me a look. "Why would I be angry at you?"
"I don't know."
"Casey." He reached over and took my hand. "You didn't do anything."
I looked down at our joined hands. "I know."
"Do you?"
I didn't answer.
He squeezed my fingers. "Because sometimes you say you know something, but I don't think you believe it."
I smiled sadly. "You're starting to know me too well."
"I've had practice."
I leaned my head against the seat. "What if I get angry?"
"Then get angry."
"What if I hate them?" I asked.
"Then you hate them."
"What if I love them?" I asked again.
"Then you love them."
I looked at him. "You really don't have an opinion?"
"I have plenty."
"Then why won't you tell me?" I asked.
"Because they're your feelings." He brought my hand to his lips. "And I'm not going to tell you what you're supposed to feel about people you've only just discovered."
I looked out the window again. "You're different."
"Different how?"
"Most people would tell me what they think." I replied.
"Most people are annoying."
I laughed. "There you are."
He grinned. "I was worried the emotional moment had made me boring."
I rested my head against his shoulder. "Never."
He smiled and kept driving. When we arrived at his parents' house, I immediately recognized the sound coming from inside, laughter and lots of it.
I stopped before opening the door. "I can't."
Chris turned toward me. "Can't what?"
"Go in there."
"You don't have to."
"I just..." I looked at him. "I don't want to pretend I'm okay."
"Then don't."
"What if they ask?"
"Tell them."
I shook my head. "I'm not ready to tell everyone."
"Then you don't have to." He took my hand. "We can sit here all night if that's what you need."
I stared at him. "You'd really do that?"
"Casey." He looked almost offended. "I'd sit in a parking lot with you until sunrise if that's what you needed."
My eyes filled again. "You're making me cry."
"Sorry." He apologised.
"You're not."
"No."
I smiled.
He squeezed my hand. "Come inside."
We walked through the front door together. The noise from the living room immediately faded. Noah looked over first and then Olivia and then Ethan, Mason and Jace. Sophia was sitting beside Elaine, while James was standing near the kitchen counter talking to Grandma Betty.
Everyone turned toward us. Grandma Betty's eyes narrowed. "Why does Casey look like she's been crying?"
I groaned and Chris closed his eyes. "I told you."
Grandma Betty pointed at him.  "And don't you dare blame me." 
Noah laughed.
Olivia stood. "Casey?"
I looked at her. She knew immediately she didn't ask in front of everyone instead, she came over and hugged me. The hug was gentle.
I closed my eyes. "Thank you."
She pulled back. "You don't have to explain anything."
That almost made me cry again. Sophia stood next. Being older than Chris, she had always had a different kind of presence in the family, calmer and more observant.
She looked at me carefully. "Do you want some tea?"
I nodded. "Please."
Elaine immediately moved toward the kitchen. "I'll make it."
James looked at Chris. His son gave him a tiny shake of his head and James understood. Nobody pushed and that meant more to me than they knew.
I sat beside Olivia and Chris sat next to me, his thigh touching mine. Noah sat across from us. He looked at me and then at Chris and then back at me. "Whatever happened, you don't have to talk about it."
I nodded. "Thank you."
Grandma Betty, surprisingly, stayed quiet. She sat in her chair with her hands folded over her cane. After a moment, she said softly, "Sometimes people need a little time before they're ready to tell the story."
I looked at her and she smiled. "And sometimes they need cake."
A laugh escaped me and everyone laughed even Chris. "See?" Betty said proudly. "I fix everything."
"You've been waiting all evening to say that," Sophia teased.
"Of course."
Elaine brought me tea and I wrapped both hands around the cup. The warmth seeped into my fingers. For several minutes, everyone simply talked about ordinary things. The hockey team argued about a game. Noah teased Ethan. Jace complained about Mason stealing food and Sophia told Chris he still owed her money from a bet.
It was normal.
I listened and I smiled occasionally and slowly, the tightness in my chest began to ease.
Chris leaned closer. "You okay?"
I nodded. "Not okay." He waited. "But better."
He smiled. "Good."
I rested my head against his shoulder. He kissed my temple. Nobody commented and nobody stared and nobody made me feel like I was fragile. They simply let me be and somehow, that was exactly what I needed.
Later, when everyone had settled down, Chris and I stepped onto the back porch. The night air was cool. I leaned against the railing. "I thought I'd feel different."
"Different how?"
"Now that I know." I replied.
He stood beside me.
"I thought I'd suddenly feel like their daughter."
"You don't have to."
I looked at him. "What if I never do?"
"Then you don't."
I smiled. "You really believe that?"
"Yes." He turned toward me. "You've been Casey for twenty-two years." He gently tucked my hair behind my ear. "Alexander and Victoria don't get to erase that."
My eyes filled again. "They might become an important part of your life."
His thumb brushed my cheek. "They might not." He smiled. "But either way, you don't stop being you."
I looked at him. "And who am I?"
His answer came without hesitation. "You're the woman I love."
My heart squeezed. "Chris..."
"I'm serious." He took both my hands. "You don't have to choose between the life you had and the truth you just discovered." He lifted one of my hands to his lips. "You can build something new."
I stared at him. "With you?"
His smile was soft. "If you'll have me."
I laughed through my tears. "You already have me."
His arms went around me and I rested against him. For a moment, I allowed myself to imagine a future I hadn't been brave enough to picture before.
A future where I wasn't defined by what Rita and Loki had done. A future where I didn't spend every day wondering why I hadn't been enough. A future where I could meet Alexander and Victoria when I was ready. A future where I could decide what kind of relationship I wanted with them and a future where Chris was beside me.
I looked up. "I don't know what tomorrow looks like."
"Neither do I."
"I might be terrified." I said.
"I'll be here."
"I might change my mind." I continued.
"Then we'll change the plan."
"I might fall apart again."
"I'll catch you."
I smiled. "You make it sound easy."
"No." He kissed my forehead. "I just don't think you have to do it alone."
I closed my eyes. For twenty-two years, I'd thought home was somewhere I had to earn. Somewhere I had to prove I deserved to stay. Tonight, standing in Chris's arms, I understood something I had never understood before.
Home wasn't necessarily a place sometimes it was a person who made you feel safe enough to stop pretending you were okay and for the first time in my life I knew exactly where I belonged.