Chapter 126 Casey calls Chris

Chapter 126 Casey calls Chris
Casey’s POV

By the time I reached the parking lot, I still hadn't cried properly. I had tears on my face, but they felt disconnected from me, as though my body had decided to react while my mind remained somewhere far away, trying to understand what had happened.
My fingers were still wrapped around the DNA report. I had folded it twice and I didn't know why. Maybe because I needed to keep touching it to remind myself that it was real.
Alexander Sterling.
Victoria Sterling.
My parents. The words were still impossible. I stood on the sidewalk wondering if I should walk home or just get a cab.
Where was I supposed to go? Home?
The word suddenly felt strange. For twenty-two years, I'd called a small apartment home because it was mine, because it was the first place I'd lived where nobody could tell me I didn't belong but now even that felt complicated.
My entire life seemed to have shifted beneath my feet.
My phone vibrated in my pocket and I didn't need to look because I knew who it would be.
Chris.
He'd probably noticed I hadn't answered his last message. I pulled my phone out anyway.
Chris: Are you okay?
I stared at the words as my thumb hovered over the screen. I typed.
I'm fine.
I deleted it and typed again.
Can you come get me?
I stared at that sentence for several seconds before pressing send. His response came almost immediately.
Where are you?
I sent him the location and then I stood there and waited. I didn't know how long it took, five minutes maybe ten. Time didn't seem to work properly anymore. Then I saw his truck pull into the parking lot.
My heart gave a painful twist. Chris parked beside me and was out of the vehicle before he'd even fully closed the door. He looked at me once and whatever he saw on my face made him stop. "Casey."
I tried to smile but it didn't work.
He walked toward me. "What happened?"
I looked down at the report in my hands. "It's confirmed."
He didn't ask what I meant. His face changed. "The DNA?"
I nodded. 
He stood in front of me, searching my face. "You're their daughter."
Another nod.
He took a slow breath. "Okay."
I almost laughed. "Okay?"
"I mean..." He stopped and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. "I don't know what the correct response to that is."
A weak laugh escaped me. "Neither do I."
He stepped closer. "Do you want to talk about it?"
I shook my head but then I nodded and then I shook my head again. "I don't know."
"That's okay."
I looked at him. "I don't want you to fix it."
"I'm not going to."
"I don't want you to tell me everything is going to be fine." I replied.
"I won't."
"I don't even know what I need."
Chris's expression softened. "Then you don't have to know."
That was all it took before something inside me finally gave way. I covered my face with both hands. A sob escaped before I could stop it. Chris didn't hesitate he pulled me against him. I pressed my face into his chest and cried, not the quiet tears I'd shed in Michael's office.
This was different, this was everything I'd been holding inside. The confusion, the fear, the anger and the grief. The strange ache of knowing that somewhere, two people had loved a child they believed was dead while I had spent my life believing they were dead.
Chris held me tightly. One arm wrapped around my waist and the other rested against the back of my head. He didn't say anything he just let me cry.
Eventually, I whispered against his shirt, "They're alive."
"I know." He whispered against my head.
"My parents." I replied.
"I know."
"I have parents." I continue.
His hand moved slowly over my back. "Yes."
I pulled away enough to look at him. "They thought I was dead."
His eyes filled with emotion. "I know."
"They mourned me." Chris nodded. "And I spent twenty-two years thinking nobody wanted me."
His jaw tightened. "You were a child, Casey."
"I know."
"I wish I could have been there." He said. The words were so quiet that I almost missed them.
I looked at him. "Why?"
"Because you shouldn't have gone through any of it alone."
My throat tightened. "You couldn't have changed it."
"Maybe not." He brushed a tear from my cheek. "But I still wish I could have held your hand through it."
I stared at him. There was no grand declaration in his expression, no attempt to make himself the hero of my story just Chris the man who had sat beside me when I was scared, the man who had never demanded answers from me and the man who somehow knew when I needed him without asking.
I leaned into his hand. "I don't know what happens now."
"Neither do I."
"What if I don't want to meet them?" I asked him.
"Then you don't."
"What if I do?" I asked again.
"Then we'll figure it out."
I frowned slightly. "We?"
He gave me the smallest smile. "Unless you've decided you're getting rid of me."
Despite everything, I smiled. "I haven't."
"Good." He touched his forehead to mine. "Because I'm not going anywhere."
My eyes closed and for a few seconds, the world disappeared. There was no Michael, no DNA report, no Sterling family and no Rita, just Chris. His warmth and his familiar scent. His hand resting gently against my cheek and I whispered, "I'm scared."
"I know."
"What if they look at me and realize I'm not what they imagined?" I asked.
His eyebrows drew together. "Casey."
"What?"
"They've spent twenty-two years believing they lost their daughter." He waited until I looked at him. "They aren't going to look at you and decide you're not enough."
I swallowed. "You don't know that."
"No." He smiled faintly. "But I know something they don't."
"What?"
"I know you." My breath caught. "I know how stubborn you are."
I gave him a weak glare. "That's romantic."
He smiled. "I know how you pretend you're not scared when you are."
"Do I?"
"Terribly." I laughed softly.  "I know how you bite your lip when you're trying not to cry." His thumb brushed gently over my cheek. "I know how you read when you're stressed." He leaned closer. "I know how you steal the blankets."
"I do not."
"You absolutely do."
"I don't." I argued.
"You've been caught." A tiny smile tugged at my lips and he smiled back. "And I know that you love harder than you think you do."
My smile disappeared and his voice became softer. "So whatever they imagined..." He paused. "...they're going to meet you."
I looked at him.
"And they're going to get to know you." His fingers slipped between mine. "Just like I did."
I squeezed his hand. "What if I'm different now?"
"You are."
I blinked and he smiled. "Everyone changes."
"That's not what I meant."
"I know." He lifted my hand and kissed my knuckles. "You don't have to be the same Casey you were before today."
My eyes burned. 
"You can be angry." A tear escaped. "You can be confused." Another. "You can take your time." He brushed it away. "And you can fall apart."
I looked at him. "Here?"
"Especially here."
I broke into another sob and threw my arms around him. He caught me instantly. "I love you," I whispered.
His arms tightened around me. "I love you too."
I pulled back and he looked into my eyes. There was no uncertainty there and no hesitation. "You know you don't have to say that because I'm having a hard day."
"I'm not."
"You don't?"
"No." He touched my cheek. "I've loved you on good days." His thumb moved gently beneath my eye. "I've loved you on bad ones." He leaned closer. "And I'll love you through whatever this becomes."
My heart hurt in the best possible way. I whispered, "What if everything changes?"
"It will." The honesty surprised me. Chris smiled. "But changing doesn't mean losing everything." He kissed my forehead. "Some things stay."
I closed my eyes. His lips lingered against my skin. "And I'll be one of them."
For the first time since leaving Michael's office, I felt something other than fear, safety. I rested my head against his chest.
Maybe I didn't know where I belonged yet and maybe I didn't know what Alexander and Victoria would mean to me and maybe I didn't know how to become the daughter they'd spent twenty-two years mourning but standing there in Chris's arms, I knew one thing.
I didn't have to figure it out tonight and for now that was enough.