54.0

54.0
Xavier

"Harper, breathe. I need you to breathe," I hear Mum saying through the phone.

She's telling Harper to breathe? Like that's even damn possible. Harper isn't breathing. Her fingers are white-knuckled around my phone. "They're going to take her and I'll never..." She chokes on a sob, her chest heaving in useless hitches.

"Give the phone to Xavier," Mum tells her. "Give him the phone."

I step forward, gently prying the phone from Harper's hand. "I've got it," I say into the receiver. 

"Xavier. Who called them? Who called CPS? And where the hell was Harper last night?"

I hold myself back from using the tone I want on mum. I have to be respectful. Even though she doesn't deserve that from me now. She's supposed to be here. She's the one who brought Harper here. 

"Are you serious? Can you just come home instead of barking orders from your desk?"

"Xavier..."

"Get home, Mom," I say in a flat voice. "Just get home."

I pull the phone away and tap the red icon before she can finish her sentence. I don't have the energy for her brand of help. My mind is still racing through names. Who would do something like this?

My first thought is Damien. It's always Damien. But then Damien doesn't do anything for the sake of cruelty... he does it for a paycheck. If he's not gaining a dime, he won't engage. There's no equity in a CPS call. No profit for him. So who else?

I shove my phone into my pocket and walk back to the sofa. Harper hasn't moved. She's staring at a fixed point on the rug, with wide glassy eyes.

Her black hair tumbles behind her back, and I don't know if I'm a dick for noticing how good she looks while she's hurting, but I do. She's really gorgeous. Well, I have to snap out of it. I can't be seriously complimenting her when she looks like this.

"Hey," I say, sitting beside her on the sofa.

She shifts, creating space between us and she doesn't look up. "I have to leave," she whispers. It's so quiet that I almost miss it. But you don't miss things like that.

"What?"

"If I leave..." She finally looks at me. "If I'm not here, they won't find us. They can't take her if we aren't here. I'll just go. I'll take just her diaper bag and we'll go to a motel first, then... then a bus station tomorrow, or..."

"No," I say. "No, you're staying right here."

"You don't understand!" She stands to her feet. She trips over a throw pillow and she lets out a frustrated scream. 

Fuck! I have never seen her like this. Broken.

"If they see me like this, they'll say I'm unstable! They'll say I'm a bad mother! I have to get her out of here!"

"Harper, stop!" I step into her path, grabbing her shoulders. "Running is not the solution. It makes you look guilty. If you disappear with her, it's an Amber Alert. Is that what you want?"

She seems to think about my words for a second but then she says. "I want my daughter. I want her safe. They're coming for her Xavier. You don't know these people. They'll act nice on their first visit. Someone called them... and they'll come again."

"We will handle it," I counter, refusing to let go. "We’ll get a lawyer. We’ll find out who called. But you are not taking that little girl out into the street in the middle of a panic attack."

"Let go of me!" She twists. "You’re just like them! You want to keep me here so they can catch me! You’re helping them!"

"That is bullshit and you know it!" I shout back. What is wrong with her? "I am the only one trying to keep you from blowing up your entire life! Sit. Down."

She doesn't fight me on this. Maybe it's the tone of my voice. As she walks to the sofa and sinks into it, I welcome the guilt in my chest. I walk to her, crouching in front of her. 

"Hey, look at me. I'm sorry for yelling at you like that."

She sighs, wiping her face. "I deserve it. Just leave me alone. It's all my fault. You were right. If I hadn't gone to that party, this wouldn't be happening. You're happy right? Just... just go."

I don't even have the words to tell her. I just nod, stand tall, and walk to get the door. As I unlock it, my mum enters, pushing past me and running to Harper who stands up. They meet each other halfway, and Mum hugs her tightly.

"Where's the baby?" Mum asks.

"Sleeping," Harper murmurs. "Finally."

Mum nods, then she brushes a stray hair from Harper's face. "Are you okay, honey? Really?"

Harper looks at the floor. "If they don't take her..." she mutters. "If they just don't take Nyla away from me."

"They won't," Mum says. She says it with such certainty. 

I raise a brow. "You're awfully sure about that," I say. "How are you so certain? Do you know something we don't?"

Mum doesn't look at me at first. She keeps her eyes on Harper, her expression unreadable... It's the look she gets when she’s already three moves ahead in a game no one else knows we’re playing. Finally, she shifts her gaze to me.

"If they find out Harper lives with family... a legal guardian, perhaps," Mum says slowly, "it stops them from acting. It changes the framework. They can’t just pluck a child out of a stable, guarded home."

I blink. I don't understand. Legal guardian? Does she mean what I think she means? "Okay, but... you’re not Harper’s legal guardian. You're just... Mum."

Mum nods, her chin tilting up. "I can adopt her."

"Adoption?" I repeat, the word is weird in my mouth. "Like... she’d be my sister? That’s your big 'option'?"

"It’s one of the ways we can actually prevent CPS from returning to our property. If she is legally my daughter, and Nyla is legally my grandchild, the 'instability' argument they’re building evaporates. We become a fortress."

I open my mouth to tell her it's total bullshit... but the words die when I look at Harper.

"Do it," Harper says.

I shake my head. "Harper, wait... You don't understand what this will mean for you. She'll be your mother... and you'll have brothers you didn't ask for... This is huge. It's not something you agree to just like that. You should think about it."

"There's nothing to think about. Go ahead," Harper says louder, ignoring me, her eyes locked on Mum. "If it keeps Nyla here. If it keeps them away from us. Do it. Please."