35. Inner struggles

Netayah wasn't the only one struggling.

Across the hall Xios lay stretched out in the enormous expanse of his bed, now dressed in a pair of the silk pajama bottoms he wore. Though he normally preferred to sleep in the nude, having never been one fond of wearing clothes, he had elected to wear them tonight. Simply the thought that Netayah was presently sleeping in the room across from them, that she might need them in the middle of the night stopped him. The last thing he wanted to do was have the woman come in search of him needing something from them, to be traumatized by finding him naked.

Xios groaned in turmoil at the thought of the woman, rolling around on his side in order to get more comfortable, but it failed to have the desired effect. After more than two hours spent of him tossing and turning around in the bed, trying to get comfortable, he finally gave up even trying. It wasn't happening.

Lunging out of bed as he finally came to this conclusion, he poured him a drink from the cabinet kept in his room, drinking down the amber liquid. Fuck, this was harder than he'd ever thought it'd be. For all he could seem to think about at that moment was the thought that Netayah, his long-awaited mate, was in the room across from them. All Xios wanted to do right now was throw caution to the wind, walk to her bedroom, climb into her bed and hold the woman in his arms.

The wolf inside of him continued to urge him to go to her, Sphynx desperate to have his mate close to him, for them to finally be together.

"Now," he growled.

"Shut up," he snarled.

"I want her," Sphynx shot back.

He was fully aware of what the fucking animal wanted him to do, the same thing that he'd wanted to do from the moment she entered their lives. Yet he couldn't submit to the baser instincts of his wolf, because no matter what he wanted to happen it was her needs that came first. And right now she was simply not ready to fully accept the bond between them, still struggling with everything that'd happened. Slow. Steady. Patient.

Thus far it had taken every ounce of control he had to keep from going to her, constantly fighting himself, Xios had no idea how he was expected to do this. Actually, it had been a miracle in itself that either of them had been able to hold back, especially when it came to him. Holding back was just not in a wolf's vocabulary, when the animal sensed the bond of their mate there was nothing and no one that could keep them apart. There were even some that would be willing to kill their own mothers if they attempted to come between a male and his she-wolf. The females were no different.

It was more than just a mated bond, the moment of first glance it became the very center of their world, a wolf's very reason for being. It was the most potent, most powerful connection that anyone could ever experience, that put humans' love at first sight to shame. They didn't have shit on a werewolf. From the moment the mates' eyes met, absorbed the scent of the one destined for them, everything about them centered on each other. Mentally, emotionally, even physically. The bond was so intense that for some of them, especially if they submitted to the bond, if it was denied it could ultimately be their undoing.

Fuck, he was so screwed. Because no matter how much he fought against it, the struggles that he'd made for the last four days, eventually he was going to break. Xios had already once.

"We can sleep with her," Sphynx reminded him. "Like last night, she'll never know."

Raking fingers through his hair as he issued a long suffering moan of frustration, his wolf determined to remind him of what he had done. Sphynx was right. Last night unable to take it for a moment longer he had crept his way inside of her bedroom in the middle of the night, when none were aware. All the while cautioning himself that he was only going to sit with her, as he'd done most nights, finding peace at watching her sleep. It was something both he and Xavier had done often in the ensuing days, enabling them to be close to her, if not actually a part of her life.

Yet as he sat there in the chair simply watching her hadn't been enough for him, he'd needed to be close to her, to know she was still alive. Ignoring the niggling doubt at the back of his head forewarning him he needed to back away, Xios slowly lowered onto the bed next to her. When she failed to register the presence of the man beside her, an arm had closed around her tiny waist, holding her pressed to his chest.

He'd promised himself that he'd only lay there for a couple of minutes, just to experience her in his arms one time and then he would leave. He hadn't. One hour had slowly drifted off into two, then the next thing he knew he was falling asleep with Netayah curled up in his arms, more at peace than he'd ever been. And when Xios had finally awoken at dawn to the mental alarm clock, it was to find her completely pressed into him, having turned towards him in sleep.

"I can't," Xios moaned.

"I need her," his beast snapped.

Xios cursed at the physical pain the retort from the animal had caused him, his beast wasn't against hurting him in order to get his own way. Damn the stubborn asshole. "Are you too selfish to think about her needs? Our mate is in a fragile state right now, she's lost and alone, and confused, she needs time to come to terms with everything and when she's ready she will come to us."

"Fucking Xavier," Sphynx muttered in anger, having no doubt that he would openly punish the man for his actions if he was given the chance. "This is all his fault. Shayde's angry with him too."

Just like his wolf he growled at the thought of the man, knowing it was his brother's actions that had made it impossible for them to be together. If Xavier hadn't reacted the way he had the first time she entered the office, then she would have willingly accepted the bond between them. Due to the man's actions rather than them being together the last five days, she'd been battling her own internal agony and mental state.

"I'm sorry Sphynx," he whispered in the silence of his mind, trying to console the animal. "I know you are hurt and angry right now, but trust me I am doing the best thing for her. If you love our mate then you will be patient and wait."

"For her," he promised.

Sighing in relief when his animal slowly retreated back into the shadows of his mind, proof that he intended to submit to the will of his human. For now anyways. His compliance would only last for so long.