Chapter 9 — The Absence

Almost three months had passed since her arrival in Bordeaux and between routine tests, functions, experiments and Saturdays off, Elsa Ludgate was in a new life of which she couldn’t complain beyond certain discomforts of her condition, but which she compensated by enjoying that freedom of being able to do things that she had previously avoided. She didn’t even longer care that people stared at her on the street, recognizing her as the girl capable of creating electricity with her touch. Sometimes she even allowed herself to light a bulb if the viewer was a small child who saw her as a mysterious magical creature. And who said she wasn't? She had never thought of herself that way, calling her condition an "evil" since always... but, what if that act that she presented every night and that impressed people so much, had some reason? What if she was a creature of mysterious origin that was under some kind of spell that now was starting to break? She tried not to get this idea and stay within that pessimistic way of thinking, result from the various difficult experiences of her life... but it is true that when one is happy (and even more, in love) the perception of things becomes a romantic one in the sense of the word that everything seems to make sense.

Yes, Elsa Ludgate was happy and she could admit it. She was unconcerned about the attention of the people placed on her, she amused herself with that strange entourage of companions and enjoyed the time she spent with Jacub, with whom she stayed until late at night talking on the arena or walking around the camp, and re-practicing that experiment that neither of them got tired of. Now she could sleep peacefully and her sting, though still present, no longer shook her as much as a few weeks ago. Instead, that internal lightness seemed to take on more prominence and even made her better in her movements during her act. Ah! How charming were those two months and three weeks! They would not, however, become in three months entirely free of troubles.

It was the last Saturday off, that happened...

Like most things related to her condition, it happened without explanation or precedent; and until the morning of that day she had no reason to think that anything had changed. Being a rest day, she got up late, past eight in the morning. She dressed well – black dress, sweater, stockings and boots; combed her hair; and went to breakfast with her companions. By those days, Elsa no longer checked her touch after waking up, having gotten used (or rather resigned) to being always electrified... and to tell the truth, she no longer cared that much about it. Sitting in the company of Jacub and Ann Marie, she had some scrambled eggs prepared by the red-haired German girl for breakfast, while listening to Matthieu and Wally talking to Barry, trying to convince him to buy a powder charge for one of his upcoming shows.

─Why do you want to buy gunpowder? ─asked the puzzled Barry.

─Why wouldn't we want to? ─Matthieu replied─. Imagine what it would be like to walk into the show in the middle of smoke! Pum- pam! Welcome to The Spectacle of the Bizarre of G. Vaccaretti! We play with danger every day. What's wrong with it?

─That is dangerous! You are saying it yourself!

─Bah! It would only be small charges, Barry. Enough to create a little cloud barely bigger than us...

─And they could be of different colours too ─added Wally─. It would be very attractive...

─Yes, it would be… as much as dangerous ─Clothilde replied─. So, no.

─Ah! Come on, Clothilde! ─Matthieu insisted─. It wouldn't be more dangerous than when that Bullet Man was around, what was his name? Ernesto! The Portuguese, remember him?

─Yes, I remember him… And it's not a good reference. He exploded in the canyon, remember?

Matthieu was silent for a moment, looking down at the mincemeat in his breakfast that made him formulate an unpleasant connection to the memory of poor Ernesto.

─Yes, well… ─Matthieu replied─. We won’t get into a cylinder...

─The answer is "no" and it is final because I say so ─said Giusseppe─. Now, shut up. Both of you. What the fuck, Wally? I thought you were better than this...

These kinds of conversations had become an everyday thing. To be honest, the entire group spent much of the day together, except for small periods of an hour or two when they had to take care of more personal matters; and in such dynamics, Elsa was discovering more things about them and their history. For example, she had found out that Wally came from a fishing family and that he came to the circus after running away with a naughty Hungarian woman who got him into too much trouble, turning him into a street artist at fifteen. Although Giusseppe was somewhat reluctant to include the boy in the circus, Barry Bourdieu insisted on this, feeling sorry for him and making him his assistant.

And she had also discovered that Barry's story was equally a complex one. Once an accountant, the Great War had left him broke. With two children to support, he looked for various jobs outside his area, until he started working for the Giusseppe Vaccaretti circus, then still a great show. His children soon grew up and looked for better options, while Barry chose to stay with the circus as a sign of gratitude and empathy for Giusseppe at a time when several of its members were abandoning them. The loyalty of Barry could not be questioned, nor could it be denied that, together with Giusseppe and Clothilde, he was one of the pillars of the group and that he used to especially support the newest members.

However, the circus was equally full of stories of the most extravagant characters that were sometimes mentioned and for which it was impossible not to be curious, as it was in the case of Ernesto Silva, the Bullet Man.

─It is not a story that you would like to know, believe me ─Jacub told her─. But I can tell you that we met Ernest Hemingway once...

─Really? When? ─Elsa was impressed.

─In 1925, in Paris. We had a performance there and he joined us in a backstage celebration. He called us "a feast in movement" you know?

─Didn't he say that about Paris, rather? ─Elsa questioned.

Jacub stopped and thought for a few seconds, concluding in:

─He was also referring to us ─Elsa laughed─. Let's go? ─extended his arm.

Elsa crossed her arm with Jacub's and they prepared to go into town. The night before she had written a letter to Monsieur Reno in which she explained in detail the progress of the whole situation and how well it was doing to her; and would seek to send it that morning.

Together with Clothilde, Ann Marie, Matthieu, Wally and Barry, they went to the center of the city and divided. While Elsa and Jacub would go to the post office, Barry, Wally and Matthieu would buy some things (now that they had more public, the facilities required more maintenance); and Clothilde and Ann Marie would visit Madame Judith.

─You already know the recommendations ─Clothilde reiterated─. Don’t walk alone and avoid problems. We may not have seen much of this Sergeant Chevalier lately, but you guys know him and you know he's always on the prowl, so be on guard.

They divided in the center of the city and went to do their own thing. The day was still a regular one (or what had become regular for Elsa Ludgate in recent weeks); and she allowed herself to walk a while through the beautiful streets of Bordeaux in the company of the boy. Dressed in a normal way, lacking the excessive makeup of the act, they could pass as a common couple for the most part... except for the occasional person who, having attended the functions on more than one occasion, recognized the girl and expressed admiration and curiosity for her.

─Everything is real ─Elsa replied, no longer afraid to comment on the subject─. But how it happens is a secret and I can't reveal it. Sorry.

Then she shared a smile with Jacub and they retired to walk down the street. She rested her head on the boy's shoulder and enjoyed the scent of some red carnation (her favourite flower) that he had bought her from a street florist, while Jacub focused his attention on the headlines of the newspaper. As many other days, since it was becoming an increasingly disturbing daily topic, the news talked about the tense situation in Germany.

─Those Nazi morons are getting dangerous… ─Jacub commented.

─More? ─Elsa did not usually pay much attention to socio-political conflicts, but she was well aware of Monsieur Reno's words about it.

─Yes ─Jacub continued─. At this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if there was another war...

─You think so? Still after the previous one? It hasn’t been that long ago…

─That doesn't imply anything, really. Be it five years or fifty, the motives that lead people from one war to another are always the same and they only need a charismatic leader to ignore the suffering of others and do foolish things.

─I hope that's not the case… It would be horrible if something like that happened again.

─The worst. And it is not even usually the people who start wars who face the worst consequences of this, but us... The common people. But as long as they not realize that they are the ones who allow evil and stop it, these problems will continue to happen until it is too late...

Elsa understood Jacub's unease at such matters. During their third night together (consisting basically of sharing personal stories and conducting their very successful experiment), Jacub told her how he and Ann Marie had become part of the circus. Knowing each other from early childhood in Berlin, the pair were orphaned after the Great War; and so, they found themselves in need of emigrating to southern Europe. Joining the Kinski Circus as assistants when they were just thirteen years old, they learned and developed their respective skills as a trapeze artist and accordionist respectively; and two years later, when the Kinski Circus and the Vaccaretti came to be in the same region of Tuscany, in Italy, they were discovered by Giusseppe and a young Clothilde, who invited them to join theirs. But despite the fact that Jacub did not disdain life in the circus and celebrated some changes that occurred in Germany after the war, he quite abhorred what warfare implied to ordinary people... and the possibility that something like this could arise again, annoyed him terribly.

For her part, Elsa was also familiar to the consequences of the war and understood the young man's anger. She wanted to calm him down and assure him that everything would be fine, but she knew that this was an absurd promise and that they had no way of intervening in what was happening. She let out a lamenting sigh and shook her head over Jacub's shoulder.

─Can we talk about something else? ─she asked─. It's our day off and these kind of issues…

─Watch out! ─Jacub pulled her suddenly when an accelerated motorist appeared over the opposite corner─. Drunk son of a bitch! ─he yelled─. It's barely eleven o’clock! Are you okay? ─he looked at the young woman.

Elsa, although worried about the event and shining slightly on her cheeks, nodded, then trying to ask the same thing to Jacub, when she realized something... the bare hand with which she was holding the red carnation was taken by Jacub's… without this causing the slightest problem.

─Jacub… ─she called him and warned him with her eyes.

The boy realized an instant later and was puzzled. He had the girl's hand in his, feeling her warm skin, without any electric shock!

─What the fuck? ─he exclaimed.

Elsa quickly withdrew her hand, fearful that it might be a late discharge and therefore a stronger one... but Jacub, impressed by this anomaly, insisted on checking it, then taking the young woman to a corner between the buildings.

─What…? ─he continued─. How did that happen? I was able to touch you without…!

─I know! ─Elsa answered, confused.

─How…?

─I don't know!

─But...

─I know!

─So…?

─I don't know! ─Elsa reiterated─. I really have no idea what happened...

─Are you not electrified anymore?

─Electrifying would be the most appropriate term. But I don’t know.

Jacub slowed his questions, looking at her curiously.

─Can I touch you?

Elsa let a few seconds pass as she thought about this.

─I don't know… ─she replied once again.

─Do we try?

After a few more seconds, Elsa nodded, somewhat reluctant and fearful, but no less curious than her partner. She uncovered her hand again and brought it closer to Jacub, who cautiously brought his hand up to just brush it with his fingertips and stepped back, almost as if he expected the powerful discharge immediately… It was not the case. He allowed himself a riskier attempt and rested the palm of his hand over Elsa's, then crossing his fingers with hers… Nothing.

Jacub tried now with his other hand, bringing it to Elsa's face. The tips touched her glowing cheeks... Nothing. An excited and confused smile spread across his face, while Elsa seemed to realize what was happening.

─Is it…? Is it gone? ─exclaimed the shocked and confused Elsa, then spreading a smile that required three attempts to show her happiness at the time─. It’s gone! Jacub!

In her excitement, she kissed the boy, now without the slightest problem and without having to limit it to something of a few seconds. Jacub, sharing the genuine joy of the girl, hugged her and lifted her, no longer fearing to be affected by her touch... but instead being reproached by some gendarme who was traveling the area.

─Hey, hey… Don't do that on the street.

─Sorry ─they answered at the same time, stopping and going back to what was important.

─It’s gone! ─Elsa exclaimed, smiling─. I can’t believe it!

─I know! ─Jacub replied, sharing the sentiment─. How is that possible?

─I don't know! I really have no idea! But I don't care ─she took Jacub's hand with the emotion of someone doing something for the first time─. I can...! I can touch you without hurting you!

─Yes… ─Jacub was equally excited by feeling her warm touch.

─Come on! ─Elsa continued─. We have to tell the others!

Pulling him by the hand, she made him run down the street going to look for their companions. By that time, her excitement was unstoppable. Perhaps it was due to the tranquillity and happiness of recent weeks, or to the genuine joy of being free from it, but the sense of alertness and caution that had always been shown in her had disappeared, making her reckless and certainly careless. In another time, an anomaly like that would have kept her doing countless tests... and such confidence generated by her excessive joy would be the beginning of the problem that this change in her condition would produce.

Upon meeting her companions at Madame Judith's inn, the news was greeted with a mixture of amazement, confusion and empathy with the girl’s good spirits.

─It disappeared just like that? ─Matthieu asked, most puzzled─. From one moment to another?

─Yes ─Elsa answered, then thinking─. Well, I'm not sure... I didn't check it this morning and my skin hadn’t touch anything until Jacub pulled me.

─So it may have disappeared during the night? ─asked Ann Marie.

─Maybe...

─What could it be due to? Do you think your energy has been drained or something? ─Barry continued.

─I hadn't thought about it… I don't know. But it does not matter…

─It does matter ─Jacub corrected her─. I mean, why is that? Is it just a moment or... is it really gone-gone?

─I don't know… ─Elsa became concerned at this approach.

─Do you feel different in any way? ─asked Ann Marie.

─Lighter, I think...

─Can you still light bulbs with your hands? ─Matthieu finally asked.

Elsa let a second pass before answering the first problem to present itself to this sudden change. In a tone that began with confidence and then hesitated, she said:

─Yes… Well… yes, I think so.

─There's only one way to find out ─Jacub exclaimed.

He searched for the bulb in one of the inn's lamps. He removed it and handled it to Elsa. The girl, starting to feel nervous, rubbed the tips of her fingers against the palms of her hands, hoping that the only advantage of her condition did not disappear.

Wally noticed something else:

─You’re not glowing anymore...

It was true. Contrary to every time Elsa was seen nervous, her cheeks had lost that glow at some point during her run with Jacub... and her hair didn’t elevate neither. The young woman took a gulp, uneasy, fearing for the first time that whatever gave her such a new life had disappeared.

─Come on, Elsa, touch the lightbulb already ─suggested Matthieu.

There was the final test… Elsa took the light bulb by the glass, let out a sigh, and her bare fingers rested on the metal. The light bulb lit up! Elsa smiled, carefree and feeling the anguish disappear from her.

─You still have it! ─Barry exclaimed.

Then the light bulb flickered, the light dimmed and finally went out. Bewilderment returned to the group.

─Maybe it melted? ─Wally suggested.

Jacub took it back and put it back into the lamp. The lightbulb came on. It wasn't broken... Elsa's electrical touch was gone. With some anxiety, she tried it again with a second, third, fourth bulb... Nothing. Not the slightest light gleamed from them, not the slightest glow crossed the jellyfish girl's pale cheeks. Was it really lost?

─Oh, well, that could be a problem... ─Matthieu said.

─Shut up, Matthieu ─Jacub told him, noticing the anguish in Elsa─. Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay, alright? This should not be a problem, but the opposite...

─Yes, yes ─Barry replied─. This should be good, right?

─Maybe for her, but not for her act ─Matthieu warned.

─Hey, don't make her nervous, okay? ─Jacub reproached him.

─What? I’m just saying…

─Come on, come on, everybody calm down ─Clothilde interrupted─. We don’t know well what is happening to jump ahead in conclusions. Today is our day off, and for today at least this little change in Ms. Ludgate shouldn't be a problem. Come on! Maybe and her condition has decided to take a day off, huh!? ─she tried to cheer up the girl─. Nobody understands how that works, so let's not rush. Let's let the day go by and maybe tomorrow it'll come back on her own, right?

─And what if not? ─Matthieu raised.

A silence occurred in the group for a few seconds.

─Well, even if that was the case, I'm sure we would find a way how to continue the act and everything… ─Clothilde replied─. So, take it easy, Miss Ludgate is our friend after all and we know how difficult it has been for her to deal with her condition to claim the least bit of her for having a moment without it.

The group ceased their questioning, granting Elsa some privacy to deal with such a change in her condition. So far had come her happiness at the disappearance of her electric touch, now turned into a concern about what it might mean for that new life of which she so happily wrote to Monsieur Reno. Was it a matter of a moment or had it completely disappeared? Was it due to the various exercises she performed daily, that completely discharging that energy? Or was it more linked to that gradual change that she experienced inside her chest, in the face of the decrease of the sting under that lightness produced by a considerable change in her attitude and thoughts towards things? Couldn't she allow herself to be happy without it giving her a new kind of problem?

She cursed her condition for sabotaging her again when she finally got used to her new life and spent the entire afternoon checking to see if the situation changed. It was not the case.

─Damn it! ─she yelled into her tent, throwing the bulb against the table, angry.

Jacub leaned out, concerned for her. It was already dark and since their return to camp no one had seen her leave.

─How are you doing, little lights? ─he asked.

─Don't tell me like that if it's possible that I can't create electricity anymore ─she replied.

─And would that a bad thing? ─Jacub questioned, leaning against one of the posts.

─Of course it would… If I stop generating electricity, what use will I be to the circus?

─Bah, you hear Clothilde… The act could continue in another way...

─Well maybe ─Elsa exclaimed, not convinced─. But it still wouldn't be the same.

─Yes, but you would be free from that problem that has affected you all your life, right?

Elsa thought about it for a moment. It was true. All her life she had wished that such an aspect of herself did not exist... but now that she had no certainty of what would happen, and even more that it had been precisely because of that condition that she had that new life, she thought about it in a way completely different.

─Well, yes… ─she replied─. Maybe it wasn't as much of a problem as I thought… I mean, if it weren't for that, I wouldn't be here, would I? I would not have met all of you... and you...

─It's true… ─Jacub replied, detaching himself from the post to go sit next to her on the bed─. On the other hand, what if that was its purpose? Get you to us and now that you've done it, leave you alone?

Elsa let out a little laugh through her nose and shook her head.

─That's one way of thinking… ─she replied─. On the other hand, with all that you guys have done for me, I would hate if the only thing I can do for you was completely gone… Ah! I don't know, Jacub… I don't know. Anyway, this thing is the fussiest and maybe it's just tricking me into doing something even worse. I don’t know what to think.

─Then don't think ─Jacub replied─. Well, at least, not too much; and just see what happens. Either way, me and the others are with you, little lights. So, don't worry, okay?

─Okay ─Elsa sighed, not convinced, but grateful for the support─. Thank you ─she said, resting her head on the young man's shoulder.

─Besides… ─Jacub continued, suggestive─, now that your touch is not electrified, maybe we could… You know… Do other kind of things…

Elsa let out a laugh and covered her face in her hands, continuing:

─Sure...

─I'm just saying ─Jacub shrugged, amused─. You have to be practical.

He liked to make her laugh to relax her.

─Of course ... ─followed Elsa sceptical─. But really, I don't know what's going on with this and I know that sometimes it just disappears out of nowhere for a moment and then comes back in a terrible way… So, we better wait a bit, okay?

─See? You're already thinking more clearly ─Jacub laughed, standing up─. Good thing you're not impetuous, dear. Take it easy, then, and let’s have dinner… that there’s no point of being here locked up, just wondering what will happen now...

Faced with the good spirits that Jacub caused her, Elsa stopped trying to concentrate and light bulbs with her touch, although the concern was not absent from her during dinner, nor during the rest of the night. She had trouble falling asleep, still wondering what she could do now if her electric touch didn't return. It was the first time that she cared about it... and as much anguish or anxiety filled her mind, this time they were not projected in his touch. What would happen at the function the next night? If the situation did not change when awakened, she would have to report it to Clothilde and Giusseppe for they to take the necessary measures.

****

Her sleep was uneven and her awakening heavy. She woke up with a terrible headache and a moodiness that matched it, produced by the combination of this with the first frustration of the day: not even the smallest light bulb lit up.

In the early hours of the day, she informed about it to Clothilde and Giusseppe, who was completely unaware of this absence.

─It hasn’t changed ─she told Clothilde.

─What hasn’t changed? ─Giusseppe asked, disoriented.

─My touch ─Elsa replied─. I still can't create electricity.

─You can’t create electricity? ─he exclaimed, with surprise.

Elsa shook her head, having hoped that Clothilde had informed him. The man shifted his gaze to his daughter, waiting for an explanation, to which Elsa felt bad for having betrayed her. Clothilde, however, remained unfazed and replied:

─Uh yeah… Sorry for not telling you, but we thought it would be a matter of a day or something.

─How is that possible? ─Giusseppe questioned Elsa─. You’re okay?

─Yes, I think so ─Elsa replied─. Maybe that's the problem. I’ve been too carefree and maybe that has made it go away... Although if that were the case, it would have returned by now, because its absence has kept me tense since yesterday. I don't know ─she sighed, worried─. I’m sorry, Mr. Vaccaretti. I've already tried everything: distract, concentrate, relax, stress, but nothing has worked and I don't know what to do. I'm worried about today's event.

Giusseppe and Clothilde shared a look and the man tugged at his moustache, thinking and then repositioning:

─Okay, Elsa, don't worry. This kind of thing happens.

─Maybe we could cancel today's show, ─Clothilde suggested.

─No, please, it wouldn't be fair to the others ─Elsa replied.

─Hey, I don't think they care about having another day off ─Giusseppe continued─. But are you sure it won't be back for a bit or something? Have you been through something like this before?

─Well, sometimes it goes for no apparent reason and then comes back out of nowhere, but days can go by like this ─she explained─. I don’t know. I can't promise anything, Mr. Vaccaretti. Don't you think the others might be enough for tonight's show? Their acts are very good.

─They are, they are… But, let's be honest, Elsa, you are the one who has attracted people's attention in recent weeks and if they come to the show and they don't see you, they will be upset… ─Giusseppe paused, thinking─. Okay, here's what we'll do: the show doesn't start until six. It is still early. Let's see how this goes on with you during the day and if it hasn't returned by five o’clock, we'll cancel today's show.

─No, please… ─Elsa tried to protest.

─It's the best for everyone ─he contradicted─. I reiterate, don't worry: this kind of thing happens to anyone in the circus. Nervous breakdowns, health problems, whatever. Once a Bulgarian trapeze artist got pregnant with a Turkish juggler and they had to go open a carpet store – and both were our main attractions. That was a problem ─he tried to relax her.

Elsa gave nothing but a nervous laugh.

─So it's fine ─Giusseppe continued─. Just... relax or do whatever you think is necessary to be normal or whatever again and that's it, okay?

─Okay ─Elsa replied, overwhelmed─. Thank you Mr. Vaccaretti…

─Don't mention it, Elsa, it's fine.

It wasn't and wouldn't be. Between the exhaustion produced by a night without sleeping well and the restlessness of what a prolonged and indefinite absence from what served the circus could entail, Elsa spent much of the day trying everything to generate the slightest electric shock, without this occur.

And as attempt after attempt resulted in failure, her anguish increased. She hated the idea that her companions couldn't show up because of her… and she hated when the day’s show was cancelled that afternoon and the two that followed. Despite the group's empathy, Elsa just couldn't bear not being of use to them and feeling rather like a burden that prevented them from being able to carry out their activities.

─Hey, you're not a burden ─they told her─. You're giving us a vacation!

They tried to cheer her up with these kinds of phrases, but they had little effect on her. Day by day, her moodiness and concern increased, until on the fourth day after the absence of her touch, she insisted to Giusseppe that they perform the function, even without her.

─I know they're being empathetic ─she said─ but their waiting for me is resulting in counterproductive pressure. Please, Mr. Vaccaretti, present the show even if it's without me. Who knows? Maybe if I stand before the public and the arena, it comes back to me ─she smiled nervously, hoping deep inside herself that this was the case.

─Okay ─answered Giusseppe─. But we will have to do something with you if this continues, Elsa. I don't want to pressure you, but you know we depend a lot on you.

─I know, I know... Don’t worry, Mr. Vaccaretti ─she said, accelerated─. It will come back…

Whether Elsa was beginning to understand the nature of her condition or if she just wanted to believe that she did, it was hard to tell. For her, it was like trying to predict the weather for the next day. She could read the signs of something... of that inexplicable sting that every now and then pressed harder. But understanding what this meant and, furthermore, what its results would be, was still impossible to understand. She knew it was possible that something was about to happen regarding her condition from that annoyance, and for the sake of her companions and the show itself, she hoped and believed that that would be the case. Again, she was acting hastily.

Wednesday's performance took place... and among her companions there was genuine concern about what would happen to Elsa. They had seen how tense she was during those days and even more in that day, saying even fewer words and even absent from spending time with Jacub who, after trying to cheer her up, now asked her if she really felt capable of participating in the function of that day.

─Yes, I can handle this, don't worry ─was all she answered, followed by a─. Thank you.

As she had done several times already, she arranged herself and joined her companions during the initial introduction, in which Clothilde made a monologue joking about the absence of the circus in those three days as a result of the excess of popularity that they had received in the last month. Elsa wondered if this could really have something to do with the change in her condition. "Maybe acceleration and excitement are things that I'm so used to by now that they no longer generate a physical reaction," she thought... and became frustrated during the absence of lighting from her bulbs during the initial juggling.

Her peers overlooked this, although the audience showed some bewilderment – especially those who had seen her perform on other occasions.

─How do you feel? You're okay? ─Giusseppe asked when entering the hall.

─Yes, yes ─Elsa replied─. I'll light up the bulbs, don't worry...

In her chest the sting was showing with increasing force.

She saw her companions introduce themselves. Time had never passed so quickly during a performance. When she realized it, it was time for her act... and her touch still did not return.

─We can cancel it ─Giusseppe told her─. Just say the word...

Elsa insisted on introducing herself. Darkness covered the arena and Clothilde carried it in. This time she did require the light from the lantern to be illuminated as she walked, still unable to turn on her usual spotlight – which was now commented on by the same people who knew she must have lit the bulbs from her initial juggling.

Clothilde passed it off as part of the act:

─Alone and without love, the jellyfish is unable to turn on the slightest spotlight… But what will happen when she sees the boy of her dreams?

The light illuminated Jacub. The lightbulb in Elsa's hands still didn't light up. The girl began to become more overwhelmed... and the sting intensified as she walked through the arena, soon making her bring her hands to her chest, pinching it and hunching over.

She tried to ignore it. Her figure stood upright as she was lifted up by the harnesses and pulleys, then the swinging action began on the audience. Her concern increased the moment the touching of the first bulb resulted in failure. Not the slightest light shone on it. She began to feel really anxious. There she was, performing that act for which she was already known throughout Bordeaux and which was the main reason why people went to the circus... and nothing happened.

It swayed two, three times… Nothing. Neither the tip of her hand nor her foot illuminated any lightbulb... and her companions below realized that the problem persisted.

─We can always say that the bulbs were broken ─Matthieu suggested.

Then, on the fourth swing, under the pressure generated by herself and her thoughts of concern about what might happen if she could not continue with the act (increased in turn by the murmuring of the people below), it happened! Electricity returned to her as she touched a green light bulb! But with this and after the slightest smile produced by the joy of the moment, the throb of her chest also acquired a terrible force that shook her even worse that when she made the lantern burst in Les Moulins!

Letting out a cry of terrible pain, Elsa lost consciousness the instant after touching the light bulb, which exploded on the audience. Being a large lightbulb, the sparks from its bursting were too much and it didn't take long to burn the rope that held it... and Elsa's too. The public quickly got up, terrified and leaving the arena, as the circus staff acted in immediate relief.

Louis let down the burning ropes, while Barry ran to extinguish them with the fire extinguisher… and Elsa fell limp on the net, barely moving in her direction. It was glowing all over her skin again and her hair was wildly tousled around her head… and no one had the slightest idea what had just happened.