Chapter 67 Mama Kaka is no more
All the blood drained from my face. My heart skipped a beat, only for it to thump loudly in my chest. Clenching my fists, I tried to regain my breathing, but it was difficult for me. "They are my children, right?" He demanded, his voice getting harder. "You lied to me, Nova. You told me they weren't bloody mine! You made me think my babies were dead!" "And?" I folded my arms, glaring at him. "Even if they are yours, what will you do? Accuse me for keeping you from your kids? Fight legally for kids you wanted to bloody get rid of?!"
I was stunned by my outburst, but I masked it. The anger I felt at the moment overshadowed my fear. "Why are you acting like you care when you don't? We bother to know how you feel about them!" I yelled at him, finally letting all my bottled emotions out. "You are a bloody hypocrite, Dashiell!"
"What the hell are you talking about?" He took a step back, gulping as he watched me with narrowed eyes. "Why are you accusing me of something I didn't do? Why will I want my kids dead?" "Don't act like you don't know what I'm fucking talking about!" I yelled at him, drawing a step towards him, letting out the anger I kept bottled within me. "Those kids are not yours, Dashiell. They are mine. I sacrificed everything for them. I made it possible for them to see another day. I'm their bloody mother, not you. You don't have any right to call them yours!" I heaved, glaring at him. I felt a surge of adrenaline as I stared at him, challenging him to dispute my words.
Silence descended between us. Aside from my panting, no other sound could be heard, not even the rustling of leaves. We were far from the others, we couldn't hear anything from them. We stayed that way for a long time until he broke the silence between us.
"You left me five years ago for another man and also lied to me about our children. You told me they were dead when they were very much alive?" He gave out a bitter laugh as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Do you know what's funny about this? I was ready to take the kids as mine, even though I thought they weren't! I was bloody willing to adopt them. I thought that as long as you agree to return to the side, I will do everything! Who would have thought the kids I wished to adopt were mine??"
"They aren't!" I insisted, still glaring at him. "You don't have the right to call them yours because they aren't."
He frowned at my words, his eyes clouding in anger as he watched me. A vein popped on his forehead. "If I hadn't met Willow, I wouldn't have known you were keeping things from me. I would have thought..." He trailed off. Tears welled in his eyes. Though they didn't drop, I could feel the heaviness in the air, how much he needed to let go of everything. "For five years, I spent each day looking for you. At first, I was pissed at you. I wanted to blame you for everything! When Mama Kaka died, I blamed you."
I froze at his last words. "Mama Kaka?" I blinked, feeling tears welling in my eyes. Unlike him, they rolled down my cheeks. "Tell me you are lying," I begged, drawing a step back from me. "Please tell
me you are lying."
Ever since I came back, I had been meaning to ask him about Mama Kaka, but I thought he would take that as an opportunity to get me to take him back by using her as leverage. Who would have thought the woman was long gone?
I couldn't stand it. Sniffing back tears, I walked over to the wall and leaned on it, closing my eyes as different emotions warred within me. The last time I saw Mama Kaka was on the day I visited to tell her I would return with Dashiell. The day Lilith took me was supposed to be the day we broke the news of my pregnancy to her. Back then, I imagined the smiles that would be on her face when we told her about my pregnancy.
"She died of heart failure," he whispered, turning to look at me. "You know, you were the last one she called before she shut her eyes forever."
His words shattered me. The emotions I was trying to stifle ripped out of me. It almost crippled me. "I didn't know," I muttered, holding my abdomen as more tears rolled down my cheeks. "I fucking didn't know. No one bothered to tell me!" I yelled out, sobbing.
If only I knew she wouldn't live long on Earth, I would have sought her out years ago, just to tell her I was okay. She must have been worried about me.
"It's okay." Dashiell placed his hand on my back. "It's in the past. I know Mama Kaka didn't blame you. She loved you, even in death. You don't have to be so bitter about a bit." He patted my back, consoling me. "It's okay. You don't have to cry."
"I failed her." I squatted, sniffing, as I wiped the tears off my face. Mama Kaka had always wished for great-grandkids. It was a pity she didn't live long enough to see my babies. I know she would have spoiled them rotten. She would have taken them as their kids.
"No, you didn't." He rubbed my back. "I told her about your pregnancy before she died and promised to bring you back home. Nova, will you go home with me?"
I looked up sharply at his words, glaring. Who would have thought he would try to use the opportunity to get me to return home with him? He was such a shameless man.
"Where was she buried? Can I visit her?" I got up and wiped the tears off my face. "I need to see her."
It was the least I could do. After being away for five years and missing her last moment on Earth, I owed this to her.
"I will take you to her." He smiled at me, offering his hand, which I refused.
"I will speak with my kids. You can wait by your car." I walked back to the school with him in tow. While I went over to my kids, who were happily comparing their drawings, he returned to his car.
"Mum!" Willow rushed over to me. "Miss Agatha said my drawing is the fourth best! She promised to give me a lollipop!" She waved her work of art at me.
"It is indeed beautiful, my darling." I patted her hair, smiling. "You guys are wonderful."
"Mine got the first position, mum! Miss Agatha promised to hang it on the wall of fame!" River boasted, grinning as he gave his drawing over to me. "They mentioned it's the best drawing ever!"
"Of course it is!" I leaned down and placed kisses on their foreheads. "Come on, darling. There's a place we need to go."
"Where?" They looked up, frowning as they watched me. "Aren't we going home?"
"Not at all. We are visiting Mama Kaka."
"Who is she?"
"Your great-grandma."