(Devan's POV).
I was depressed.
I thought I was going crazy because Vivian kept running around in my head. I didn't want to be away from her. I wanted her to always be in my thoughts. But things never go smoothly. I didn't know what to do to keep her at a distance from me.
That's all I think about every day.
I even dared to ask her out to dinner. It seemed pushy, but I was happy that she didn't refuse. But damn it, somehow Viona came along and ruined everything.
We had a big fight and the gap between us widened. It was frustrating.
If only my heart wasn't filled with resentment back then. Maybe I would have had a happy married life with Freya.
I sobbed unconsciously as I looked at our wedding photo. I'm half-conscious and I don't know how many bottles of alcohol I've consumed. I was drunk and drank a lot of alcohol after our fight.
I was dazed and unconscious. I vaguely saw Freya in front of my eyes. And when I woke up, I saw her in my apartment.
I wanted so badly to hug her to see if she was real or not. I wanted to hold her close.
"Freya..."
"Vivian. I'm Vivian."
Vivian?
That's right. Freya is gone. And she was Vivian. The woman that I've been thinking about since the first time we met.
Just this once, let me grab her. Let me have her and I swear I'll keep her with my life.
"Vivian?" I called out to her as I drifted back to sleep.
My head still felt dizzy and my body felt weak. But I forced myself to get up from looking for her.
"Vivian?!" I amplified my call when there was no answer from her.
I started to feel uneasy. I was afraid she was gone and that everything I remembered was just a dream.
"Vivian!" I grimace as I touch my head where it hurts. "Freya?!"
"Devan?" I immediately turned around with wide eyes when I heard Vivian's voice from behind me. She was standing in the doorway looking at me.
"You..."
"What's wrong? Why are you awake? Have you recovered?"
"Where have you been?" I rushed into her arms. Holding her so tightly that I could feel her heart beating against mine. I could feel the warmth of her body that calmed me down.
"What's wrong?" she asked, "I just came from the bathroom."
I let out a long breath. "I thought you left me." I buried my face in her neck. "Please... stay where I can see you."
"Alright, but can you let go of me first? I can't breathe," she said while trying to push my body away.
I broke our embrace and stared at her intently. How could their faces be so similar?
"Go back to bed."
"And you?"
"I'm going to bed too. We need some rest."
"Stay beside me and don't go anywhere."
She chuckled. "Is it because you're sick, or because you're still drunk so you're acting weird?"
I swallowed my saliva with difficulty. I dropped my head on her shoulder. Squeezing her shoulders with both of my trembling hands.
"I just don't want to lose you again. So, please... don't go anywhere."
"Okay, now go back to your room."
I felt her hand grasp my hand gently. Taking me back to my room and laying me down on the bed.
"I will sleep on the sofa. Every two hours I will check whether your fever has gone down or not," she informed me.
"Sleep here."
"Devan..."
"I won't do anything," I said, "I'm sick. I can't possibly do anything to you."
"It's not that, it's just..."
"Please."
She sighed heavily. "Okay."
I watched Vivian who walked around the bed and sat on my left side. She looked at me for a few moments before she decided to lie down.
I slept on my side, making sure to keep my eyes on her.
"Let me hold your hand."
"Dev," she protested, "you're not a kid anymore."
I ignored her words and took her hand, clasping it tightly. I wished time would stop at this moment.
The next morning, I woke up to find Vivian still fast asleep beside me. With her hand that I was still holding. She slept facing me. Looking so calm, beautiful, and mesmerizing.
"I missed you so much," I whispered as I gently rubbed her cheek, "I love you...."
She squirmed and I reflexively raised my hand. Staring at her in amazement. I wanted to kiss her so badly.
I brought my face closer, wanting to kiss her. Our lips were only inches apart, almost kissing each other until I saw her eyes open. Her blue eyes widened.
She pushed my body roughly and sat up. She glanced at me with her eyes that turned sharp.
"What are you doing?"
"It's just a misunderstanding."
"You wanted to kiss me!" she protested.
I shook my head. "Vivian, no. I just wanted to take my phone."
"Don't lie to me, Dev!"
"No, I'm not lying." I glanced toward the bedside table, at Vivian's sobbing. I pointed my index finger at it. "Over there."
She looked back with an incredulous look, then suddenly became speechless.
I had to lie because you don't want her to get angry with me.
"Do you trust me?"
She picked up my cell phone in annoyance and threw it at me.
"I think you've recovered. I'm going back home...."
"No, don't." I quickly pulled her hand away as she got out of bed. "Vivian, wait."
"I have to go home, Dev."
"I know, let me drive you."
"You're sick. I don't want to be driven by someone who is sick," she said as she let go of my hand.
"Substitute driver." I dropped my phone and got out of bed. "Vivian...." I blocked her path, right in front of the door.
"Dev," she protested.
"Please..."
"Stay home and think about your health. Don't get yourself into trouble by calling me!" she snapped irritably.
"I called you?" I furrowed my brow.
When did I call her?
"Yes, you did," she said. "Now get lost, Dev. I want to go home."
She tried to push me aside. But I immediately grabbed both her hands.
"No, wait. Vivian... How did you know the address of my apartment?"