(Tristan's POV).
I'm probably crazy.
So crazy that I dare to confess my feelings to Vivian like this. And I'm sure she must be shocked right now and even worse she'll hate me. But I didn't care anymore.
For four long years, I've been bottling up my feelings alone until I felt tortured. I thought I was fine living with Vivian as her brother because she had never been in a relationship with any man. And I felt safe. There was no jealousy as long as I could still be around her, I was fine.
But now there was Devan in our lives, more precisely in Vivian's life which makes me feel scared that Vivian also loves him.
What scares and angers me even more is the fact that they used to know each other and have married. I didn't know what had happened, but I would never let them get back together even if I had to do something sneaky.
She's been living as Vivian for four years. She's the one who said she wanted to forget all her past and live with a new identity.
So, if I can't get Vivian, no other man can. It doesn't matter if it's Devan or some other asshole trying to get close to her.
I stared sadly at her while covering her face, but she immediately stepped back to avoid me. I know she must have been very surprised to hear my words.
"Vivian," I whispered.
"No, this isn't right." She shook her head. Swatting away my hand that was trying to touch her. "You must be joking, right?" she asked panicked.
"Vivian...."
"No, don’t. You can't do this," she said, still trying to avoid me. I felt sad and frustrated when I saw her like this.
"I know my words sound crazy, but before you became a member of our family. I already liked you," I said. Now, I didn't care about anything anymore because from now on I was going to be selfish. I didn't want to lose her and let her go back with Devan just like that.
"Wh-What?" She widened her eyes in surprise.
"I've liked you since the first time we met at the hospital that night. And I can't believe that Dad suddenly brought you home and told you that you would be taking Vivian's place," I said in a trembling voice.
"Tristan, we are family..."
"I know, that's why I hid my feelings for you all this time and tried to act like a big brother to you." I swallowed hard. I took her hand and she looked surprised. "I was planning to hide my feelings until I died, but seeing you with Devan made me unable to accept it."
Vivian's blue eyes trembled. Her hand felt so cold, icy.
"I love you more than anything in this world, and I don't mind if my love is one-sided." I moved closer to her. Covering her face with my palm. "I'm fine if you don't reciprocate my feelings, but I have one request for you. Don't ever go back into Devan's arms. Don't get into a relationship with him again."
I took a deep breath as I looked into her eyes which looked like they were about to cry. While Vivian could only remain silent without saying anything. Her eyes blinked several times. Her lips opened and closed as if lost for words.
"Keep living your life as Vivian, and so will I. And I will continue to bury my feelings for you," I said. I know this sounds like a threat. But I don't care. I'd rather destroy my pride in front of her than have to see Vivian with another man.
Vivian bit her lower lip. Looking confused, she nodded.
"I promise," she said.
I couldn't hide my happy smile. I immediately hugged her tightly.
It didn't matter that it would make her think I was bad, all I cared about now was that I didn't want to lose Vivian.
"Tristanー"
"Let me hold you," I whispered, "just for a moment."
She suddenly calmed down whereas before she pushed me away, rejecting my embrace. I tightened my embrace even more and rested my head on her shoulder.
To be next to her and have no one interrupt. That's all I want, and if I turn out to be greedy, it's only because I saw her with another man.
I really don't want to turn into the kind of bastard that previously bothered Vivian, but I know how those overwhelming feelings turn your feelings into an obsession.
Although I often think about that, I try to control myself so that Vivian doesn't hate me.
And all I can do now is make sure she can never be with Devan, and that goes for the other guys as well.
I went straight into my room after I got back from Vivian's house and I immediately dialed someone.
"Ash, it's me," I said.
"Hey, buddy. What's up with calling me at this time of night?"
"I have a job for you."
"A job?"
"Find out more about Devan Harrison Haven. I'm sure it's not hard to find information about his life."