119: Devastation

119: Devastation
ALMA

I sobbed uncontrollably, my chest heaving with each ragged breath. The pain felt like a knife twisting in my heart, shattering it into a million pieces over and over again, and I couldn't piece it all back together. I couldn't hold myself together. I was falling desperately apart, and I was so helpless, and lost.

Time seemed to stand still as I wallowed in my despair, and I didn't know how many hours passed or if it was even hours. It felt like an eternity to me. An eternity of my heart being torn apart until Beverly's voice pierced through the silence of my cold room.

"Alma, it's me. Open up," she tapped the door twice, being as gentle as she could. At first I didn't get up. It wasn't like I didn't want to, I just could do it.

I struggled to move, my legs feeling like lead weights, but finally managed to pull myself to my feet and unlock the door, revealing Beverly. I leaned against the door, trying to hold back my tears as I stood before her, "Beverly," I sobbed.

Beverly's eyes widened in shock as she took in my tear-stained face and dishevelled appearance. "God, Alma!" she gasped, pulling me into a tight embrace. I buried my face in the crook of her neck, trembling while her fingers brushed through my hair.

"It's okay," she assured, continuously until it became something of a chant as she squeezed me into her arms, "It's okay," she whispered, but it was nothing more than a lie.

It wasn't okay. Everything was far from okay. Everything was destroyed. My heart was broken, my soul was shattered, and my body was carrying all of that pain, holding it. It wasn't okay, and it felt like I would never be okay again.

When Beverly finally released me from her arm, she led me to the bed, tucking me under the covers like a child. She sat next to me silently, running a finger through my hair as I rested my head on her shoulder, tears running down my face.

After a while I stopped crying or rather I ran out of energy to keep crying. I just sat on the bed, staring at the wall blankly, and trying not to remember the pictures in the envelope which was somewhere on the floor. I was very much aware of it though. I couldn't seem to forget its existence.

"Do you want some coffee?" Beverly asked after a while, and I shook my head.

"No, I'm fine," I muttered.

"You're not fine, Alma. Do you want me to call him?"

I shook my head frantically, "No. I don't wanna see him. I don't ever want to see him again."

"Alma, don't say that. Maybe it's just a misunderstanding—"

"A misunderstanding?" I cocked a brow, and climbed out of bed. She had no idea, "I doubt you'd say that when you see this," I added, grabbing the brown envelope from the ground, and handing it to her.

"What's this?" She asked, taking it from me.

"Find out yourself," I answered, and Beverly glanced down at the envelope opening it.

I moved away from the bed, I didn't want to see it. No. I couldn't bear to see it again. I wasn't sure I'd be able to handle it if I did. I leaned against the wall, across from the bed, and I could feel the brand new tears, poking my eyes as I watched Beverly slip out the pictures from the envelope.

Even without seeing it, I could feel the sting in my chest as she flipped through them with her jaw dropped open, and her eyes wide. "Oh my god!" She looked up at me like she couldn't believe what she was seeing. I know how that felt. I couldn't believe it too even though it was right in front of me.

"Alma," she muttered, and I tried to hold back but seeing the way she looked at me. I lost it again, and I couldn't fight the tears as they rolled down my cheeks again. I hated it. I hated the tears. I hated the pain, I hated everything but most of all I hated Carl, and I never want to see him again.

"I never want to see him again, Beverly," I sobbed, and she slipped the pictures into the brown envelope, tossing aside. She came to me, and led me back to bed, hugging me, and patting my back.

"I don't blame you," she said, "I can't believe he could do something like that to you."

Neither could I.

The doorbell echoed through the house in that instant, and my stomach churned for no particular reason as I raised my head. Who was it? I wasn't expecting anyone today so who could it be? I climbed out of bed, and moved to my window, peeling the curtain to the side to see who it was.

My hand clutched the window tightly when I saw Carl climbing out of his car, and my stomach boiled as I glared at him, and rage coursed through my bones. What the hell was he doing here? His gaze shot to my window, and I immediately pulled the curtain down, stepping back.

"What's wrong? Who is it?" Beverly asked, probably noticing my reaction.

I turned to her, a frown engraved on my face because if it wasn't that. It would be tears. "He's here."

"Carl?" she quizzed, getting to her feet.

"YES. What is he doing here?!" I demanded, my voice trembling with fury as I began to pace the room like a caged lion. My stomach twisted into knots, a toxic brew of rage, hatred, and betrayal churning inside me. How dare he even show up here, after what he'd done?

I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to see him! It was hurting so much, and the last thing I needed was to see that face of his. How dare he even show up here?

"Do you want me to tell him to leave?" Beverly asked, and I wanted to say yes. It was the better option, that way I wouldn't have to see him but another part of me wanted to go down there instead and slam the door shut in that cheater's face.

No matter how much it would kill me to do that. "No, I've got it. It's the end of us, anyways," I mumbled half-heartedly, and the words bittered my tongue.

"Are you gonna be alright?"

I didn't know.

I nodded, "Yeah, I've got this."

I grabbed the envelope, and marched out of my room to the living room. I saw Agatha heading to the door to answer it, and for a split second it occurred  to me that this was avoidable.

"Agatha," I called, wanting to stop her from letting him in, but she didn't seem to hear me for some reason and then it was too late.

The door opened, and Carl walked in, making my heart twisted in my chest. The living room suddenly felt smaller, and my stomach clenched. My breath was caught in my throat and I could hardly breathe as he walked towards me.

"Stop!" I said, and he did.

I glanced at Agatha at the corner of the room, watching us. The instant our eyes met she excused us, and we were finally alone.

"Alma—"

"Don't say anything," I cut him off, and threw the envelope at him, "Just take that and leave just like you came. We are over, Carl."

"What?" He blurted, perplexed as he let the envelope fall to the ground, "You can't do that—"

"I can't?" I questioned with a glare, gritting my teeth as I cocked an eyebrow, taking one step closer to him. My chest was on fire, "I didn't do this, Carl. You did. So, please get the hell out of my house!"

I turned to leave but he grabbed my arm again. His touch still sent shivers down my spine. I could still taste his cologne at the back of my throat, numbing the hurt but at the same time exacerbating it.

I jerked my arm from him aggressively, "Don't you dare touch me with those filthy hands! You have no right! Get out, you cheat!"

He narrowed his brows, wrinkling his nose, "What? Cheat? What are you talking about?"

"What am I talking about?" I enunciated, furrowing my brow, "You're still gonna play clueless?" I frowned, "Gosh! You disgust me, Carl."

"I have no idea what you're on about, Alma. Just tell me what I did wrong!"

I picked the envelope from the ground, and slammed it against his chest, "It's all in there. Why don't you take a look?" I asked, and he took it from me.

I folded my arms, and watched him as he slipped a picture out of the envelope. His gaze fell on it, and his eyes widened with shock. He glanced at me, "Where did you get this?"

"Seriously?" I arched my brow, "That's what you have to say?" I enunciated, choking on the disappointment. I didn't know what I had been expecting but it definitely wasn't this.

He swallowed, "This isn't what it looks like, Alma," he stepped forward, and I stepped back.

"Out!" I yelled, pointing at the door.

"Alma—"

"Out, Carl!" I shouted at the top of my voice fighting the tears. Beverly rushed down the stairs, coming behind me, "Leave, please," I begged, keeping my eyes wide open to keep the tears from spilling out.

"Let me explain—"

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT."

"Alma, please."

I averted my gaze from him, "Beverly, please ask him to leave," I said, and went behind her, running up the stairs. I couldn't do it anymore.

I collapsed into my bed as I entered my room, and began to cry all over again.

A few minutes later I heard the engine roar to life outside, followed by the sound of screeching tires and a revving engine, and then total silence. He was gone, and even that hurt.

"Hey," Beverly walked in, and consoled me till I fell asleep.

I woke up later to the doorbell, and climbed out of bed, heading out of the room. Beverly was nowhere in sight, and it was a little dark out so I guess she must have gone home after I fell asleep. I reached the bottom of the stairs, and walked to the entrance. The door was ajar, and Agatha was standing there, talking to someone.

"Agatha. Who is it?"

She glanced at me, "Alice. She said she wants to talk to you," she replied, and stepped aside.

Alice popped in, "Hey, Alma."