Chapter 39 39
She had promised herself she wouldn’t let him control her again, but here she was, standing on the edge of a cliff, unable to resist the pull of the fall. She had once been strong, but now, it felt like every part of her was unraveling with every touch he gave her. Her breath came in shallow bursts, the warmth of his body against hers making it impossible to think straight.
Damien’s lips found her ear, his voice a low murmur, "I know what you need, Lila. You don’t have to fight it anymore. Let me take care of everything."
His words, soothing and dangerous at once, echoed in her mind, swirling around her like a dark cloud. He had always known how to make her feel like the center of his universe. She hated him for it. But right now, she hated herself more for wanting it again.
“Stop,” she gasped, her hands trembling as they rested against his chest. She tried to push him away, but her body betrayed her again, responding to the pressure of his touch. Her skin seemed to sing under his hands, alive with the heat of his proximity. She wanted to scream, to fight against it, but the overwhelming need to feel wanted, desired...something she hadn’t felt in so long...was stronger than her willpower.
Damien’s hands slid down her back, pressing her body firmly against his, and her breath hitched. The air between them was charged, thick with the tension of unspoken words, the raw emotion of a connection that should have been severed long ago. But it wasn’t. It never had been.
“You don’t have to fight it, Lila,” he whispered, his lips brushing against her neck. “I know you still want me. I can make you feel everything you’ve been missing.”
His hands moved to her waist, his fingers trailing the edge of her jeans, and for a moment, she thought about pushing him away again. But then the warmth of his touch, the fire in his eyes, pulled her back. How could she resist him when every part of her craved him, even after everything?
“You think I’m weak,” she managed to say, her voice barely a whisper. "That I’ll just fall for you again. But I’m not the same person I was before. I won’t be your pawn."
Damien’s expression softened for a moment, but only just. His eyes, dark and intense, searched hers for a long, silent moment. Then, his lips curled into that familiar, dangerous smile..the one that both terrified and aroused her.
“You think I see you as a pawn?” His voice was low, almost amused. “No, Lila. You’re more than that. You’re my equal. My equal in every way.” He trailed a finger down her arm, the touch sending shivers through her skin. “And you’ve always known how much power you have over me. You just don’t want to admit it.”
Her heart skipped a beat, and she pulled back slightly, trying to make sense of his words. But there was something in his eyes...something raw and vulnerable...that made her pause. Was it possible he was telling the truth? Could it be that he wasn’t just manipulating her, that he felt something deeper than control?
She wasn’t sure anymore. The lines between love and hate, pleasure and pain, had blurred so much that she couldn’t tell where one ended and the other began. He had broken her, torn her apart, and yet, when he touched her like this, when he kissed her like this, all the pain seemed to melt away. It felt good. It felt like everything she had been missing. And that was the most dangerous part.
Damien closed the distance between them once more, his lips capturing hers in a kiss that was far from gentle. It was fierce, demanding as if he couldn’t get enough of her, as if he were trying to prove something. But even as he kissed her, even as his hands roamed over her body with a familiarity that should have repulsed her, she couldn’t help but respond. Her body arched toward him, seeking the release he promised without even saying a word.
His hands moved lower again, and for a moment, she panicked. She wanted to push him away, to say no. But all she could do was hold on as if the weight of the moment was too much for her to bear. Her hands slid up his chest, finding the familiar figure of his shoulders, as though by touching him, she could ground herself. But it was futile. Every part of her was already lost.
"Damien," she gasped, her voice strained as she tried to pull herself together. "I can’t do this. I can’t be with you like this anymore."
He pulled back, his eyes locking with hers in a moment of stillness that felt like an eternity. His expression was unreadable...his lips slightly parted, his chest rising and falling with each breath, but there was no malice in his gaze, no cruelty. Just that same deep intensity, as if he could see straight through her.
“You don’t have to fight it, Lila,” he said softly, his voice steady and sure. “You want me. You always have. Let go. I’ll make it sweeter for you. I’ll make it worth it.”
He was offering her a moment of peace, a chance to forget the pain and just be with him, to let him take away all the hurt she had carried for so long. And even though she knew how dangerous it was, how wrong it was, part of her wanted it. Part of her wanted to let him make everything disappear, even if it was only for a moment.
Lila closed her eyes, her breath coming in ragged bursts. She couldn’t deny it anymore. The truth was too overwhelming, too powerful. She wanted him. She wanted to forget. And it terrified her more than anything.
“I hate you,” she whispered, the words barely audible, as if admitting it would make everything worse.
Damien’s eyes softened just a fraction, and he cupped her face in his hands once more, his touch gentle now, as though he understood the battle raging inside her. “I know,” and I hate it more baby, so just give in to Daddy, he whispered back. “But that doesn’t change what we are. What we’ve always been.”
Lila swallowed hard, feeling the weight of his words settle deep in her chest. She hated him, yes. But she also craved him. And that made everything even more complicated.
He kissed her again, this time slower, more deliberate, as if he were trying to pull her into him completely, to make her forget every wall she had ever built. His hands roamed down her back, his touch light but commanding, as though he knew exactly what she needed...what they both needed.
And for a brief, fleeting moment, Lila let herself surrender. She let herself feel the heat of his touch, the pressure of his body against hers, and for the first time in a long while, she stopped thinking. The world around her ceased to exist. There was only Damien and the way he made her feel.
She was drowning, and yet, in some twisted way, it felt like home.
“Let go, Lila,” he whispered against her lips, his voice thick with desire. “Just let go.”
And as she let herself be swept away in the tide of his touch, she realized that no matter how much she tried to fight him, no matter how much she told herself she hated him, her body would always yearn for him.