This may be the night that everything comes to an end. To end everything. It's so hard to face this, but I realized that the longer I avoid it, the longer I suffer. It only prolong the suffering.
I'll never be at peace unless we talk about it and work things out. I hope we can end this conversation without resentment or anger. I hope that Hayes will understand this. I hope that he would free Hope go, and set me free.
Hayes is waiting in the lobby. I haven't seen him when I go out, or perhaps he came when I was already in Kairus' car, which is good. I don't want Hayes to think about me and Kairus. Hayes is impulsive and territorial most of the time.
Hayes face brighten up when he saw me. "Hi, I'm glad you came down here...to see me," he said sheepishly.
Hayes looked good and fit in this tailored shirt. It looked good on him because he was so thin, but the joy on his face made him glow.
I gave him a tired expression. I’m so tired of this. He's hoping for Hope through a me. He wishes I could love him as Hope does. I wish I could. He's taking it seriously enough even though that we can talk to this on the phone. He even spent his own money to come here where he could use this money for his future.
He's been working, and I know his salary is insufficient to cover his transportation costs from his home to here.
"Good evening," I replied. I couldn't return the immense joy he was giving me. I am already drain from the previous closure.
"We need to talk," he said happily.
Yes, I need to talk to you as well, very seriously.
I nodded. I'm not going to let him into my dorm. My brother is there, and I'm sure he would be mad or don’t like the idea of Hayes going to my dorm or even visiting me this late.
He directed his attention to the elevator. "Do you want us to talk in your dorm?”
I shook my head. “Let just talk in the restaurant.” I smiled. I don’t want to die yet. My brother would kill us for sure.
“Okay. That's great! " He responded enthusiastically. Isn't he exhausted from the journey? He arrived so late, does that mean he left as soon as he heard the news?
Hence to, it’s not important at all. He’s already here, and I couldn’t just send him back to Leto. I’m not that heartless. I cared for him. Yes, I do. He's important to Hope, and part of Hope, and I'll take care of those Hope loves.
Hayes is Hope's ex-lover, and I promise not to hurt him, but I can't promise to love him when we both know I can't.
I can't offer hope to a ship that has already sunk. My boat has already sunk a very long time ago like how I had a hang ups to Jack and Rose.
We went out the building, and I’m glad that I didn’t see Kairus car, anymore. Maybe he left already but…I don’t receive his text yet.
Maybe, traffic.
Hayes stood beside me not really far from me. He kept on smiling every time that my eyes landed on him. The restaurant is walking distance from here like twenty steps near my condo. I’m glad that there’s only plenty of cars passing by.
Shit. I stopped and looked around.
“Why? What’s wrong?” Hayes asked, worriedly, and he is also roaming his eyes around.
“I almost forgot. What if there’s a reporter here hiding trying to film me?” I whispered, worriedly.
I looked around, and I can’t see any suspicious. There’s no people walking by but… we don’t know!
Hayes hold my shoulder. He smiled at me. “There’s no people around. Let just get inside the restaurant and hide or do you want us to go to your dorm?” He asked.
I can’t do that too.
I sighed. “Maybe, I’m just paranoid. Let’s continue.” I said, and walk first.
The moment I enter the restaurant, I went straight to the table where no one could see us, really. I don’t need to look behind if Hayes is following me cause he’s already beside me. I took a seat facing away the possible people.
“What do you want to eat?” Hayes asked. I shook my head, gently.
“I’m full. Coffee is better.” I said, and he smiled.
He stood up. I’ve waited for minutes. I check my phone, and I still don’t receive any message from Kairus. Is he okay? But why I’m worried? You should not be!
Hayes came back holding a coffee. I quickly set aside my phone.
“What do you want to talk by the way?” I asked Hayes softly. “It must be important since you went here this late.”
Hayes nodded, and hold his hand while placing it in the table. “I’m here because of that news. You said that you don’t have a boyfriend and yet see news like that.”
“You came here for that?” I asked him, surprised. I chuckled, softly. “You can text or call. You don’t need to come here-
“I did.” Hayes cut me off, seriously. He faked a smile. “I texted you but you did not reply.”
I sighed, and hold my hand. “You know that I’m busy, right?” I mumbled, now feeling exhausted again. “My schedule is really hectic and I turn off my phone because of that news, too.”
“Don’t be stress, anymore. Since you explain that that news to me that those are lies. Then, I’m fine now.”
I massage my temple. I took a long deep breath and looked at Hayes seriously.
“Hayes,” I called him seriously. “You know that I’m not Hope, right?”
He nodded. I was about to relax when he suddenly smiled at me and said, "But, you have her heart."
It’s like having Hope heart obliges me to love him, as well. To say yes of all his demand.
"Yes, I have a Hope heart, but...this isn't Hope anymore," I sadly told him. I'm hoping he understands whatever I'm saying to him.
"I want you to stop hoping for Hope," I said firmly, and he froze. I just noticed his face darkening dangerously. He acted as if he knew what was going to happen next, but he didn't like it.
“This girl infront of you is not Hope, anymore. This is Aimee. I can take care of you but I can’t love you, and let you show up unannounced. I want you to stop hurting yourself. Hope will never return to you...you no longer own her...please let the angel go…please let her go..." I begged him.
He clenched his hand tightly. I'm afraid to look at him, but I have to be strong.I already decided to end this.
Because of Hope's heart, it's as if there's always a string connecting us, forever.
“You don’t have the right to be territorial.” Hayes said, coldly. I looked at him, and this is the angriest Hayes I’ve ever seen.
I’m not territorial. I’m exhausted and I can’t just live like this. We can’t live like this forever. He can’t live like this forever.
“You don’t have the right to take Hope away from me, Aimee. You stole her heart-
“What?” I cut him off, madly. “I never stole her heart Hayes.” I said, coldly. The last time I remember, I let Hope live and I stopped communicating with her because I want her to live.”
“No, Aimee. You don’t have the right to beg us to leave you.” Hayes said, seriously.
I shook my head. “I’m not saying that you should leave me but I’m trying to say that please move on. I know that you keep on communicating with me because you expected me to love you. Hope is gone please, let her go. I’m not saying that I would be vanish. I’m still here, and I’m always be here.”
He chuckled, angrily. “If you say that you will always be here then why were you making me leave?”
I sighed. “Did you get my point Hayes? I said let her go. We can talk like this in a causal way but you keep on showing up unannounced. You wanted to see me every day. I can only allow you once a month for Hope and I know you misses her but we can’t live like this Hayes. Hope’s family even understand-
“Because they are stupid!” Hayes, shouted. My jaw dropped to what I just heard and what he just said.
I glared at him, and clenched my fist. “Take back what you said.” I warned him.
“What?! No, Aimme!” Hayes yelled, raising his voice, angrily. I turn my head to check behind me, and I'm relieved that the people are no longer there. I'm not sure where they went, or perhaps the manager closed the restaurant, as he does every time I come here.
I crossed my arms, and glared at him.
“You called Hope’s parents stupid? How disrespectful are you-
“No! They judged me Aimee!” Hayes yelled angrily. "I know you're acting this way because they talked to you!" They brainwash you in the same way they brainwashed Hope! They judged me because I was an addict, but that does not make me a bad person! To hell with them! I had to swallow my pride in order for them to accept me, but look what they did! They even brainwash you in order to keep you away from me!”
I shook my head to him, disappointedly. Maybe this is the reason why Hope’s parents didn’t like him.