Chapter Fifteen

The heavy traffic between her parents’ apartment on West 72nd Street and Dylan’s penthouse made her grateful she had taken the limo. She could use the time on her laptop rather than being stuck behind the wheel of a car. Unfortunately, the traffic also gave her time to reassess her decision. Back home talking to Callie about her relationship problems seemed like a good idea. Callie knew Christopher but wasn’t emotionally invested in the situation like Jake. Callie already knew about her disastrous relationship with Phillip, and she’d had her own rocky road with her husband early in their relationship.

Now Sara’s confidence in her decision waned. For all intents and purposes, Callie and she remained strangers. They only knew the most basic of information about each other. Even though they’d agreed to start over, so far they hadn’t spent any time getting to know each other.

Despite her misgivings, Sara didn’t ask the secret service agent to turn around. Something deep inside urged her to follow through with her decision. Not once during their previous conversation had Callie exhibited anything but grace and understanding. Right now she needed advice and someone that understood.

Sara stepped off the elevator and paused in front of Callie and Dylan’s door. She hadn’t visited in a while but from out here everything looked unchanged.

The worst that can happen is I leave here feeling as miserable and confused as I do now. It can’t get much worse. Sara reached for the doorbell, but before she could press it, the door swung open.

“Sara?” Dylan stopped abruptly, his hand still on the doorknob. “Is something wrong? I’m on my way back to the office, but if you need—” Dressed in a dark blue suit with a red tie, her half brother could have been the poster boy for corporate America if it wasn’t for his expression. Concern and confusion filled his handsome face.

“Everything is fine. I… uh… wanted to talk to Callie actually.”

Dylan’s jaw dropped, and although difficult, she managed not to laugh at his expression. She’d never seen her eldest brother so shell-shocked in her life. I wish I had a camera right now.

“You came to talk with Callie?” Dylan asked slowly.

Sara nodded, somewhat enjoying her brother’s shock. “That’s okay, right? She is my sister.” Well, half sister, but why be technical?

“Yes, of course. You’re always welcome here.” Dylan pushed the door fully open again. “She’s in the media room with Lauren. I’ll walk you in before I leave.”

Sara followed Dylan through the main living room. At one time, the room had contained nothing but black leather furniture and lots of glass—a room devoid of character. Now warm colors softened the room and pictures hung on the walls, making it feel more like a home than a cold, sterile apartment. The scent of something chocolaty added to the homey feeling. A little bit of envy stabbed her heart. She’d never begrudge her half brother happiness, but for a split second, jealousy reared its head. It seemed he’d found his soul mate, while all she’d managed to find so far was heartbreak and jerks.

Get off the pity train.

Reaching out, she laid her hand on his arm to stop him. When he looked over at her, she blurted out the words she’d thought many times but never voiced. “I know I never told you, but I’m really happy for you.”

Dylan’s eyebrows shot up, and again she wished for a camera. “Uh, thank you.” His tone indicated he wanted to say more, but he didn’t.

Through the open door, Sara heard Callie and Lauren McDonald talking in the media room. The two women had been friends for years and seemed extremely close.

“Callie, Sara’s here to see you,” Dylan called into the room from the doorway.

Silence filled the room and two sets of eyes focused on her. Yep, should’ve called first.

“I can come back later if you want,” Sara said, almost hoping Callie would agree. Talking about her relationship problems with Callie was one thing, but she didn’t want to do it with Lauren around too.

Callie and Lauren exchanged a quick look. “I’ll take Lucky for a walk. I need to burn off the brownies Callie made anyway.” Lauren stood, and Callie’s dog jumped to the floor.

“We can take the elevator down together,” Dylan said, standing in the doorway.

Callie waited until Dylan and Lauren left before speaking. “Please sit down. Are you hungry? I made some double chocolate chip brownies.”

The sweet smell of chocolate teased her senses, making Callie’s offer tempting. Unfortunately, the ball of nerves in her stomach suggested eating was a bad idea. “Maybe later, thanks.” Sara took a seat across from Callie.

Silence fell between them. Sara didn’t know exactly how to begin. Thankfully she didn’t have to. “Are you staying in the city long?” Callie asked.

“Until tomorrow. I only came… well… to see you actually.” Sara picked her words as she went along. “I needed someone to talk to.”

Callie nibbled on her bottom lip, a clear sign of her discomfort. “And you picked me?” Disbelief colored her words.

Heat flooded Sara’s face. “I don’t have many close friends and none that know about what happened with Phillip.” Swallowing, she fought to control her swirling emotions.

“I’m guessing this involves Christopher.”

With a nod, Sara launched into the entire story, including her conversation with Jake during his unexpected visit to her place. Not once did Callie interrupt or give any indication of her thoughts.

“Sara, I’m not sure what you want me to say,” Callie said when Sara finished the entire story. “You’ve known Christopher a lot longer than me.”

Sara tugged the end of her ponytail, twisting several strands around her finger. “Your opinion, I guess. One minute I know I made the right call, the next I’m wondering if I jumped to conclusions. Jake’s no help. He and Christopher have been friends for too long.”

“Jake does know him better than I do,” Callie said gently. “Maybe you should take his advice on this.”

“But that’s the problem. I need a neutral opinion, Callie. Please. Do you think I’m wrong?”

For several seconds, Callie remained silent. “I understand why you reacted the way you did. It sounds like Phillip was a real ass,” Callie paused. “Before all this, did you ever once think Christopher was the type to use his connection to the family?”

Sara didn’t need to consider her answer. “No. He rarely mentioned his association with the family.”

“And who made the first move, him or you?”

Sara thought about the night in Hawaii after Jake’s wedding and then about their time in Los Angeles. “Neither really,” she answered with a shrug. “It just happened.” Sara released the hair twisted around her finger. “You think I’m wrong?”

Callie leaned closer. “It doesn’t matter what I think or Jake or anyone else. Only your opinion matters. What does your heart say?”

“I want to be wrong. But—”

“But what, Sara? Has Christopher ever given you any reason not to trust him?”

“No,” she spoke the word without hesitation. Before she’d heard Miriam Walker on CZN, she never doubted his motives for being with her. “Still—”

“You need to do whatever feels right. But I think you’re wrong about Christopher.” Callie looked her directly in the eye. “And if you don’t start trusting people soon, you’re going to end up alone. You’ll always find some way to doubt someone’s true intentions. Do you really want to live like that?”

Callie’s words stung. The picture Callie painted was bleak, but Sara recognized the truth in her half sister’s words.

“You don’t know what it’s like to be used by someone because of who you are. To have people cozy up to you because your last name is Sherbrooke.” Bitterness crept into her voice.

“You don’t know why I ended things with Dylan that summer, do you?”

Sara shook her head. She remembered their relationship came to a sudden end sometime after a big political fundraiser in New York City, but she’d never learned the specifics. Since they eventually worked out their differences and married, she’d never asked.

Over the next few minutes, Callie explained how she’d overheard Marty Phillips, their father’s campaign manager at the time, tell Dylan he’d been the perfect man to keep her occupied and away from the media until Warren made his announcement about who she was. Sara’s heart ached as Callie told her how she’d rushed out of the Waldorf Astoria and caught a train back to Massachusetts. And she understood why Callie refused to listen when Dylan followed her; although she secretly thought his drive from New York to Massachusetts that night in the pouring rain was romantic.

“I can’t believe Dylan agreed to that. And you forgave him completely?” Put in a similar position, she didn’t think she could be as forgiving.

“I guess love lets you do things you don’t think you could ever do.” Callie gave her an understanding smile. “If you love Christopher as much as I think you do, then—”

“I should reconsider things?” Sara said, interrupting her.

Callie shrugged. “Either that or at least talk to him. Give him a chance to explain his side. It sounds like he deserves that much.”

When Sara left Callie, she remained almost as conflicted as when she arrived. She’d hoped talking about the situation with a neutral party would somehow make it clearer, but even after the heart-to-heart it remained cloudy.

Regardless, she didn’t regret her visit. Callie’s comments forced her to take a step back and view her and Christopher’s entire relationship from the outside. Despite everything Jake had said during their conversation, she hadn’t been able to look beyond her own perceptions.

Now back at her parents’ apartment, Sara scrutinized every aspect of her time with Christopher, starting with Jake’s wedding. Heat blossomed in her body and spread outward as memories of that night returned. It’d been spontaneous and so unlike her. Yet at the same time, it had felt natural, like they belonged together. Well, at least until the next morning when embarrassment and guilt set in. If he’d agreed to some back-room deal with Healy, would he have avoided her afterward? Wouldn’t he have tried right then and there to start something permanent with her?

Several weeks had passed before she saw him again at the fundraiser in Providence. And he’d told her upfront that David invited him. He hadn’t given her some line about being there just to see her, which would’ve been a great way to show his interest.

Sara twisted a strand of hair around her finger. So far nothing from her memories pointed toward some grand scheme between Christopher and the senator. Their trip to California, however, had been Christopher’s idea entirely. He’d convinced her to publicly support the plan and make the commercial with him.

Sara pushed everything about the trip from her mind, except the first night in her hotel room. He hadn’t pushed her. When she’d backed off and insisted they stop, he’d respected her decision. Even now she remembered the gratitude she’d felt toward him for being so understanding. A man with an ulterior motive wouldn’t act like that, would he? Phillip had pursued her like a dog in heat. Even now, after all that had happened between them, he tried to lure her back from time to time.

The longer she sat examining their relationship, the clearer the truth became. She’d been wrong. Once again she’d let her fears and mistrust ruin a relationship. Anger and disgust toward herself boiled up inside, making it hard to breathe. With her hand, she wiped away the tears rolling down her cheeks.

How could she have been so stupid again? She’d been too trusting with Phillip and too distrusting with first Callie and now Christopher. When would she learn? Sara’s tears turned to gut-wrenching sobs as the enormity of what she’d lost set in.

Hours later, Sara stared at the ceiling wide awake. Her head throbbed and her eyes burned from her emotional breakdown. Despite her physical discomforts and exhaustion, her brain refused to rest. Instead, questions ran through her head. Should she attempt an apology? Was it possible for them to pick up where they’d left off? Could she handle it if she made the first move and he rejected her? She needed answers. Unfortunately, she didn’t have a single one, and the only way to get them involved potentially more heartache, which was something she didn’t know if she could handle.

***

His office door slammed closed and the painting on the wall shook. Immediately, Christopher spun his chair around and came to his feet. He wasn’t expecting any visitors, and his sister wouldn’t slam the door with such force.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Hall?” Jake moved toward Christopher’s desk, his jaw clenched. “First you make my sister miserable, then you blow me off.” Jake walked around the desk and stopped a foot from him.

Christopher almost wanted to laugh. He’d made Sara miserable? More like it was the other way around. She’d been the one making the accusations. “I don’t think you got the whole story. She told me to leave.”

Jake crossed his arms across his chest. “I know all about that. But you haven’t even tried to talk to her.”

Why should he bother? If she could think he’d used her for his own gains, she didn’t trust him at all. How could they have a relationship if she didn’t trust him?

“It’s none of your business, Jake.”

“When my sister is miserable and heartbroken because of you, it becomes my business.” Jake took a step closer.

“Heartbroken?” Christopher laughed bitterly at the absurd idea. “She’ll move on in no time. She admitted to me after your wedding that going from guy to guy is normal for her.”

Since the breakup, he’d forced himself not to picture her with another man. His comment now filled his head with the very image. He ground his teeth as he pictured her lying next to some Washington politician, her silky blonde hair draped across a pillow as she slept or… It was better he didn’t go there.

“Sara told you she sleeps around? And you believed her?”

Perhaps her exact words in Hawaii had been more like “things like this happen all the time,” but they were arguing semantics. “Yeah, something along those lines.”

“She lied to you. You’re the first guy she’s been with since Phillip Young.”

Phillip Young, the name sounded familiar. Christopher searched his memory.

“She broke up with him a few years ago after she learned he started their relationship to dig up dirt on our father during the campaign.”

A light bulb went on inside his head. Phillip was the guy giving her a hard time at the fundraiser. He looked like the blackmailing type. “Okay, fine. She doesn’t sleep around. That doesn’t change a thing. If she wants to talk, she knows how to contact me. And just for the record, I didn’t use our relationship to get the contract.”

“Yeah, I know that. But you have no idea the number Phillip did on her.” Jake ran a hand through his hair. “Sara hasn’t been herself since. She was finally getting back to normal with you.”

The anger he felt toward Jake for calling him out like this shifted to Phillip. The night he’d met him at the fundraiser, he wanted to punch him because of the hard time he gave Sara. Now with this new knowledge, he longed for the opportunity to do much worse. “I get it, Jake, but her past relationship doesn’t change the facts. She told me to leave.” Their final conversation was etched in his mind, right down to the expression on her face and the way she stood.

Jake took a step closer, his face a mask of controlled anger. “You’re being an ass, you know that?”

Christopher teetered between telling Jake off and punching him in the face. Either move would be bad for their friendship. Instinctively, his hand formed a fist again. “I think you should leave, Sherbrooke.” Christopher spoke through clenched teeth.

Jake narrowed his eyes as his jaw worked overtime grinding his teeth. “Whatever. It’s your loss.”

Before Christopher could respond, Jake marched out of the room and slammed the door behind him.

Dammit. What a friggin’ mess he’d created. Christopher dropped back down into his chair and swirled around so he faced the window overlooking the garden.

How much of what Jake said could he believe? Usually he’d say every word, but not this time. Sara’s lack of trust in him cut deep even now, weeks after their argument. No matter how he felt, if any chance of them getting back together existed, she’d have to make the first move. He’d attempted to argue his side that night and she refused to listen. He wasn’t going to confront her again just so she could make more absurd accusations. No one in their right mind would want to set themselves up for that type of treatment.

Long after the sun disappeared from the sky, Christopher remained staring out the window, a tiny seed of an idea growing in his head. While he wouldn’t confront Sara again and beg her to take him back, maybe he could prove he hadn’t manipulated her into a relationship for his own benefit.