Chapter Fourteen

What am I supposed to do now? She’d asked herself the same question multiple times over the past two weeks and still had no answer or idea how to figure it out.

Entering the kitchen, she turned on the stove. Even though it was Friday evening, she was still at home. In fact, these days she hardly left her townhouse. Instead, she stayed safely hidden away from everyone. And while it was a self-imposed confinement, she hadn’t adjusted to it. Since joining David Healy’s campaign, she’d eaten, slept, and breathed politics. With her political career and Christopher gone, gaping voids were left in her life.

Leaving her position as David’s chief of staff had been one of the most difficult things she’d ever done, yet she’d had no choice. As much as she loved working on the Hill, she couldn’t continue working for David after the way he manipulated her, which brought her back to her unanswered question—what was she supposed to do now?

Maybe if she got some sleep she could sort her future out, but sleep refused to come, despite the absolute exhaustion plaguing her body. Instead, her thoughts constantly returned to Christopher. They hadn’t spoken since the evening she confronted him. He hadn’t called or texted, and neither had she.

Right after their argument, she’d expected him to call and try to convince her she was wrong. As the days passed and he didn’t call, she realized he didn’t intend to. In her book, that only further proved his guilt. If he hadn’t used her, wouldn’t he defend himself? Try to change her mind? His lack of effort meant either he was guilty or just didn’t care.

Either way, it was over between them. Her head knew it, now if she could only get her heart on the same page, her world would return to normal, or something close to normal. How do I manage that one? Sara wondered, getting up to make her tea.

She couldn’t throw herself into her work anymore. What else did she have? Maybe the key was to get out more, even if only to see family. She’d canceled plans with Jake twice, both times via text message. It’d been easier that way. Over the phone, he’d know something was wrong and drag it out of her. In fact, she hadn’t spoken to Jake once since the breakup. With a text message, she could tell him she didn’t feel well and he wouldn’t know the difference. At least the tactic worked for now.

Eventually, he’d get suspicious and start asking questions. When he did, she’d have to tell him everything. The thought of it made her stomach hurt. She always fell into the same trap with men. Although Christopher would never tell Jake the real reason their relationship ended; it was possible Christopher had already told her brother about the breakup. A brief jolt of sympathy shot through her. When Jake found out Christopher manipulated her, it would end their friendship.

“It’s not my fault if it does.” Sara carried her tea into her bedroom and flicked on the lamp. The soft light bounced off the pale pink walls, casting a warm glow. “He should have thought of that before he used me.”

The guilt remained, gnawing at her insides despite her words. Even if Christopher’s actions and not hers had ruined his and Jake’s friendship, perhaps she should’ve thought longer and harder about how their involvement would affect Jake. At the time, she’d put very little thought into it at all. Had Christopher?

Slipping into her favorite pajamas, she grabbed her book. Time with a good novel and a hot cup of tea might help distract her and push away all thoughts of Jake and Christopher for a short time.

The doorbell chimed before Sara finished a page, and she froze in place, her heart beating fast. No one came by without calling first, not even Mom.

Tossing the book down, Sara pressed the button under the security screen near her bed. The console gave her access to the video monitor posted outside her front door. She half expected half hoped to see Christopher there. Instead, she saw Jake standing on the front steps.

Groaning, she released the breath she was holding. What did he want? Had he finally realized she was going out of her way to avoid him? She’d known it would happen at some point; Jake wasn’t stupid. She’d hoped it’d take him a bit more time though.

Maybe if I take my time answering the door he’ll go away. No sooner did the thought pass through her head and the doorbell rang again. Evidently, Jake planned to be his usual stubborn self tonight. “The sooner I answer, the sooner he’ll leave me in peace,” she said as she walked to the door.

“Took you long enough,” Jake said, rather than give her a proper greeting when she opened the door.

“I was getting changed,” she answered.

He gave her a once-over before his eyes settled back on her face. “You look like hell, Sara. Are you sick?” He walked into the living room and sat on the love seat without being invited inside.

“Thanks, you really know how to make me feel good.” Someone needed to remind her brother of the old saying: if you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all.

Jake propped his feet on the coffee table. “Well you do. Are you feeling okay?” True brotherly concern filled his voice this time.

“I’m fine. Just busy.” Sara perched herself on the edge of a chair.

“Then what’s with canceling dinner and not returning my calls?”

Before he’d walked through the door, Jake had known the status of her health. He’d been trying to catch her in a lie and succeeded. She knew his ways well and should’ve picked her words more carefully.

“Like I said, I’m busy. You’re not the only one with responsibilities,” she answered. Her defenses automatically went into play.

“Never said you didn’t, but something is up. Both you and Christopher are avoiding me like the plague. What gives?”

“We haven’t talked in weeks. You’ll have to ask Christopher what his problem is.”

Jake’s feet hit the floor, and he straightened up. “What happened?” he asked, his voice turning cold.

Sara looked down at her hands folded in her lap. Should she keep the answer short and sweet or give him all the glorious details. The less information she gave, the less a fool she’d look for letting a man use her again. “I ended things with him. It just wasn’t working.” Omitting the truth wouldn’t hurt anyone.

Jake’s eyebrow went up, and he gave her a look that said bullshit. “Not buying it, sis. What happened between you two?”

“Jake, really it’s not important. Let it go.” Jake’s insistence on knowing the details irked her. She’d never nosed around his relationships.

“Any other time fine, but not now.” Jake crossed his arms across his chest. “Why did you break up?”

She envisioned herself tossing the crystal vase of flowers at her brother’s head. Whatever happened with Christopher wasn’t any of his business. Unfortunately, she knew he’d stick around until she gave him some details.

“You heard the education initiative passed, right?” Stupid question. Of course he had. “Did you know Hall Technology was awarded the government contract associated with it?” Considering the jumble of emotions simmering inside, she thought her voice sounded reasonable.

Jake shrugged one shoulder. “I didn’t know about the contract, but it makes sense Christopher would go for it.”

“Did you notice the value of Hall Technology’s stock spiked?” Sara watched his face for any reaction to her words.

“I own stock in the company, of course I noticed. But what does that have to do with you and him?”

Evidently she needed to spell it out for him. “It all happened because of me. Both Christopher and David used me to get what they wanted. There wouldn’t even be a contract if I hadn’t attached the Sherbrooke name to the education initiative. And the company stocks only spiked after the company got the contract.”

“Have you been putting something besides sugar in your tea, Sara?” he asked, leaning toward her, confusion in his eyes. “Christopher wouldn’t use you. That’s not the kind of guy he is.”

Sara held back a snort. How dare he defend Christopher? “Then why did he urge me to publicly support the education plan? He knew the likelihood of getting it through the Senate was slim without the Sherbrooke name attached. And what else could’ve caused such a spike in stock value if not the announcement Hall Technology won the contract? I don’t believe for a second it was all a coincidence.”

Jake gave her a look of pity. “The stock started to go up around the time Hall Technology announced its plan to buy a Japanese technology company. No matter what you think, he never would’ve asked for your public support of the initiative because he wanted the government contract. He would’ve supported it even if no monetary gain was involved.”

She’d expected Jake to be angry with Christopher, not defend him. “Believe what you want, Jake. It doesn’t matter anyway.” If he wanted to side with Christopher, she wasn’t going to make a big deal about it.

Jake reached for her tightly balled-up hand. “Phillip would’ve done those things. Not Christopher,” he said, his voice gentle and understanding.

“You have your opinion, and I have mine.” Up until two weeks ago, she would’ve agreed with her brother, but not anymore. While Christopher hadn’t used her to potentially ruin Dad’s political career like Phillip, he still ranked up there on her list of first-class jerks.

“Come on, Sara. You really believe Christopher would use you to help his company? Don’t you think he would’ve tried something before now? I mean, I’ve known him for years, and he’s never pulled anything like that with me.”

Her brother’s tone of voice told her exactly what he thought of her assumptions, but just because he didn’t agree with her, didn’t mean she was wrong. “Please let it go, Jake. It doesn’t matter anyway.” Sara rubbed her temple with her hand. The headache she’d fought all day was back with vengeance.

“Yeah, sure. You look like you don’t care,” Jake answered sarcastically, giving her the once-over.

If she asked him to leave, what were the chances he’d go? Knowing Jake, not very high. He tended to do things his way. Most days she loved that about him. Not today.

“I know he’s your friend but butt out, Jake.” Sara let her annoyance seep into her voice. “When you were on the outs with Charlie, I didn’t give you advice.”

Jake threw up his hands. “Whatever. If you want to act like an idiot, go ahead. When you’re ready to talk, you know where I am.”

***

The silver Mercedes parked next to his sister’s car reminded Christopher of their conversation over breakfast. Caroline had told him William was coming for dinner and she’d asked him to join them. With everything else on his mind, he’d forgotten all about it. If he’d remembered, he wouldn’t have come straight home. In his current mood—one he feared was becoming permanent—he’d make a lousy dinner companion.

Since his breakup with Sara, he’d been like an enraged bull in mourning. Or at least Caroline used those words to describe him, and he thought it was a good comparison.

Christopher sat in his car and weighed his options. If he went inside, he could easily avoid Caroline and her dinner guest, the house was big enough. He disliked the idea of going inside and then intentionally avoiding his sister though. He knew she wanted him to meet William. He’d always been the first family member Caroline introduced to a new boyfriend. If he didn’t like the guy, Caroline usually ended things with him soon after. Normally, he didn’t mind the ritual. Tonight though the idea of assessing his sister’s newest love ranked right up there with going to the dentist.

Dealing with the club scene on Friday nights held about as much interest. Before his relationship with Sara, he’d stopped in some of the exclusive nightclubs once or twice a month—more for something to do than the love of it. It’d been a while since his last visit, and he had no desire to go back. A drive held some appeal, but the rain ruled it out for him. If he had to worry about hydroplaning on slick roads, he wouldn’t enjoy it.

I might as well go inside. Resigned, Christopher climbed out of the car. Perhaps a quick hello would be enough, and then he could grab a beer, retire upstairs, and turn on a movie. He could sit down with Caroline and her new boyfriend some other night.

What he intended to be a short introduction turned into a twenty-minute conversation. Christopher suspected it would’ve been even longer if he’d allowed it. Now up in the privacy of his suite, he randomly flipped through his movie collection. So far he’d gone through at least one hundred movies, yet none of them interested him. After looking through the sci-fi collection, he scrolled over to the classics and Casablanca came up, the first movie in his list.

Hell. He should’ve skipped the category altogether. Seeing all the classics they’d watched together only reminded him of Sara, especially Casablanca. It’d been the first of many they’d watched, and he didn’t need any reminders of her. Even without them, she popped into his head throughout the day.

Christopher scanned through his collection of action movies, but his mind remained on Sara. He thought she’d come to her senses and call him, but the more time that passed, the less likely it seemed. As much as he wanted to hear her voice, a call to her was out. While he may still want her, he wasn’t going to beg, especially when he’d done nothing wrong. She’d been the one to jump to some absurd conclusions, not him.

While the opening scene of the first Terminator played out on the screen, the last time he saw Sara played out in his head. When she started accusing him, his temper flared and not long after he walked out. Should he have stayed and tried harder to convince her? Would it have made a difference?

Probably not. At the time, she hadn’t been thinking with her head.

The way things stood now, he figured she either still believed her crazy ideas about him or had come to her senses but didn’t care enough to work things out. Their conversation when they woke up in Hawaii reverberated in his mind.

“We’re both adults. Last night happened. No big deal. Trust me, things like this happen all the time. I don’t even know how many times it happened during the eighteen months I worked on the senator’s campaign,” she’d told him.

Maybe he’d been just another guy in her long line of men. Perhaps, he’d assumed the relationship meant more to her than it did.

Whatever the truth, he needed to move on and put their relationship and perhaps his friendship with Jake behind him. So far he’d avoided texts from Jake. Although he never referred to Sara in any of them, Christopher assumed Jake knew they were no longer together. Avoiding Jake may be the coward’s way out, but he found it a better option. The alternative could lead to a very ugly situation.

Christopher watched two more movies before calling it a night. He climbed in bed, hoping for a dreamless sleep, but it never came. Instead, he tossed and turned for hours then gave up on sleep altogether and went for a drive. With no specific location in mind, he drove around for hours before returning home no more relaxed than when he left.

The scent of freshly cooked bacon and cinnamon greeted him when he entered the gourmet kitchen. “You’re up early,” he said to Caroline who sat on a stool at the island.

“William and I have plans today. He should be here in about an hour. Where have you been?” she asked, looking over his outfit.

Christopher poured himself a cup of coffee and took a sip of the strong French roast before answering. “Out for a drive.”

Caroline frowned, her expression reminding him of their mom. With her wavy golden brown hair, dark brown eyes, and fair complexion, she looked like a younger version of Gail Hall. “Thinking about Sara again?”

To say he was thinking about her again gave the impression he’d stopped, which he never had. He’d never admit that, so instead he shrugged. “Didn’t William spend the night?”

“This isn’t my house, so I didn’t ask him. You’d know that if you’d stuck around last night,” Caroline answered, the hurt clear in her voice.

Christopher snatched a slice of bacon off his sister’s plate. “Trust me, you didn’t want me around last night. I would’ve made lousy company.”

“How’s that any different than usual lately?” she asked with a fair amount of sarcasm. “What happened between you two anyway?”

Fair question. He took another sip of coffee. He loved Caroline but didn’t want to go share the details. “It just didn’t work between us.”

“Then I suggest you forget about Sara and move on for everyone’s sake. Especially yours. You’ve been miserable for weeks.” Caroline took the final sip of her juice and put her dishes in the dishwasher. “If you want to talk or anything, I’m here, Christopher.”

How many times in the past had his sisters come to him when one of their relationships ended? More times than he could count, especially Caroline. With only eighteen months between them, they’d always been especially close. Yet it’d never occurred to him to seek her out for help. “Thanks.”

Caroline walked over and hugged him. “I need to finish getting ready. I’ll see you later.”

Long after Caroline left, he remained, mulling over her words. This wasn’t the first time she’d called him out for his foul mood. Somehow he needed to move on and put their relationship in the past. His foul mood wasn’t changing anything. The only thing it accomplished was offending others. Caroline was right; he needed to forget about Sara Sherbrooke.

Often when he started a new project, it took over his life, blocking out everything else until he completed it. Perhaps that was just the thing he needed now. A new project to sink his teeth into. Something to keep his body and mind engaged.

Christopher grabbed an apple from the fruit basket on the counter and headed for his office. On his computer, he kept a file of new ideas he thought he could develop at some point, and from where he now stood, some point had arrived.