Your Deimos
Knowing he is in safe hands I stride through the crowd as the females part giving me a path for me to get through. Stepping into the house I am met by their red swollen eyes on me as well as the scent of death that swims freely throughout the room. One's soul must be strong to take part in this. They watch me with trembling lips many pounding their chests with their fists their bodies swaying back and forth drained of energy.
The females are bare their flesh unclothed as a sign that they mourn for the loss of theirs and others and nothing is hidden. Their body the temple of their soul shall know and comfort the sorrow of others. Shared mourning.
Kneeling upon the ground I strip myself off my clothes and sit there in the middle of the circle naked. "Forgive me for I am late, my females. Give me your sorrow, give me your pain, give me your misery. I shall give you comfort and heal you in return to what the moon has taken from you." I whisper eyes closed both palms placed on my thighs as a sign of openness, sacrifice and welcoming. I shall take what they give.
A moment of silence and then the room booms with their sobs. They cry to me, many crawling forward on their hands and knees placing their palms upon mine to which I clutch on to. They place their hands on my body, on my shoulders, on my chest and back. Some lay their heads upon me as a sign of support. I knew there was death but I did not know the extent of the damage caused. There is so many, I came unprepared.
Tears stream down my cheeks my lips quivering, uncontrollable sobs begin to break through my heart. "He was merely a juvenile. He still hadn't met his moon blessed. He waited for her. I wanted to see him with his family." One of the older females wails banging her forehead upon the floor. A mother. She is a mother. "Goddess." I say. A pain of a mother only another mother shall know and feel.
"He was my male. He was my male. Mine." Another young female weeps her heart out. She sits in the corner of the house knees tucked to her chest arms around her legs. Her words muffled for her head is pressed into her thighs. She lost her mate. The shadow of her flesh is highlighted by the fire burning in the middle of the room. Yet the fire in her soul seems to burn stronger, it is beginning to rot her insides.
I take in a shaky breath. My eyes sweeping across the room to find all these females drowning in agony and suffering one that shall take years to heal and until it shall become a fading memory. The torture they must go through. I sob louder. What can I do? How can I help my females?
Clamping my mouth shut holding my palm over it I stumble and fall to the ground, their pain too much for me to handle.
"Why? Why our males? They were all good, smart and possessed beautiful souls. It could have been other wolves but why ours?" A female screams her tone high pitched whilst she shrieks her distress. The others moan unable to control the throbbing ache of their cores.
"What do you want? What do you wish for?" I ask tears leaking from my eyes down my flesh. My voice a mere whisper against the loudness of their weeping.
"We give back what is given to us. We take what has been taken from us." The same older female who lost her son replies to me. "An eye for an eye."
"An eye for an eye." The crowd screams in unison.
"Then we go to war." I say whilst making sure to look at each of them meeting eyes to discover each others truth.
"We go to war!" More words screamed in unison the emotions in their eyes manifesting from aching sorrow to surging fury.
"Our pack shall lose more lives." I whisper the truth. Some females have not halted their wails still drowning in their misery yet most have revenge on their minds. It is what they want.
"They shall die with honour for those whose lives were taken without integrity." One of the several females' whispers from the back of the room. The others nod in reply and acceptance to her words. There is no wrong or right with going to war. It is just how it is in this world. It is an unmerciful brutal world where only the strongest shall survive.
As daylight sinks beneath and night is welcomed the females begin to leave one by one to the comfort of their homes. I wait outside the door until the last of them places her forehead upon mine saying her farewell to me.
Running to my house hand clamped over my mouth to stop what wishes to come out I burst through the front door startling Deimos who waits outside patiently leaning upon a tree arms folded across his chest. Rushing to the washroom thrusting my face into the toilet I let the contents of my stomach out. Heaving palms clutching onto my stomach I vomit. Tears begin to stream down once more to the stress my body had received.
"My female?" Deimos asks heavy concern seeping out of him like silk. His scent invades my senses in a good way and I indulge in it.
"Alpha!" Elriam comes forward with her worry towards me. I watch Deimos from the side of my eyes. He rushes forward his strides hurried and with purpose eyes serious and focused on me but his steps halt by the door block. His right foot remains up midstep as he contemplates whether to enter or not.
He looks at the undesirable me who is barfing loudly into the toilet and back at the door block. Closing his eyes shut fists trembling he takes a deep breath and takes a step back.
"Pat her back, Elriam. That soothes her." He instructs and Elriam is quick to follow his command whilst her soft palm rubs and pats my back gently.
I heave again my stomach twisting and turning but nothing comes out for it is now emptied. Elriam continues to pat my back until I take deep breaths.
"I am all right." I say to calm both the tension-filled and worried wolves present. Elriam sighs and helps me up on my feet.
"Kal?" I ask her.
"Fast asleep." She whispers bending down to take a towel from the cupboard. She drenches it with water and hands it to me to wipe my mouth.
"Thank you, Elriam. I apologize for keeping you up so late. You are free to leave." I tell her with a soft smile. She looks as though she wishes to stay but with one glance at Deimos her eyes light up and she feels her presence is not needed for he is here to be by my side.
"Goodnight, Alpha." She bows to me and Deimos whilst striding out the entrance.
"How are you feeling, my female." He asks eyes sinking into mine.
"Not so good. Our females our suffering, they want war." I whisper the truth with a shake of my head knowing this shall not end well. This war possessed the capability to bring forth further devastation and destruction.
"Yes, I know that. The males wish for it too. It must be done." He replies. Swallowing to soothe the roughness of my throat I give him quick nods. "Why did you wish to meet me?" He asks out of the blue. He is straightforward and does not run in circles, he does not care for matter or time. He will ask for what he wants when and where he wishes.
"Because I...I-" Why did I wish to meet him again? To discuss the war, to find other solutions? Why did I wish to see him? I swallow harshly biting my lower lip, thoughts running wild digging around to find the answer to my question.
I meet his eyes and my mouth opens and closes like a fish underwater. I am lost for words. Rather I forgot what I needed him here for.
"Come closer, my female." He whispers his tone low strained and pleading.
"I am close to you, Deimos." I say looking at the space between us.
"Not close enough." He mutters eyes grow from the neutral emerald to burning striking ones. He looks up at me as how a predator would gaze at his prey.
"I have forgotten as to why I wished to meet you tonight. I apologize, perhaps I shall remember tomorrow and I will come to see you. If you wish to greet your male give me a second I will go bring him to-"
"I do not know who I am without you, my female." He takes a step forward, one leg outside the other inside the house. I take a stumbled step backwards startled by his sudden move and words.
"Deimos. Please do not do this." I plead begging him to not sway me. I shake my head non stop my heart running again the beats picking up.
"This position I am in right now is my place in your heart." He utters whilst I see his feet, he is not inside my home but he is not fully outside either. I gasp with the truth he acknowledges. The truth he knows and sees. The truth I am running from.
"Do not do this to me." I plead again. "Please do not lure me again, you make me weak Deimos." I beg shaking my head body trembling eyes closed and wet with emotions and feelings I cannot deny.
"Mate." He whispers.
"You have a role to play, a role that outweighs everything. It even outweighs you as a wolf. I cannot live with that. I won't live with that. You must understand. You must!" I shriek.
"Mate, I-" He begins to reason with me but I stop him. I give him something that he can live with.
"I shall be by your side as your Luna, I shall stand by you. But please I beg you, do not take more from me." I whisper.
"Look at me, my female!" His voice raising it booms through my home and with quivering lips my eyes slowly flutter open to meet his fiery emeralds. "I stand here before you bare of my titles. Not the Alpha of Alpha's, not a God. Just Deimos. Your Deimos." My soul breathes.