Your Favourite Dish
Walking into the dining room with my females as my moral support has my spirits rise over oceans every morning.
The elders have sunk back into their shells in response to Deimos's threats and open show of punishment. No wolf dares to disrespect me or meet their eyes with mine unless called for. Heads bowed they treat me by the weight my title carries.
As Elriam pushes the door open the chatter stops enveloped by an authoritative silence that commands the room to calm. My presence is welcomed by wolves standing up with lowered gazes and deep bows.
Elriam controls the bubble of laughter that wishes to slip past her lips. She finds this everyday situation amusing. She walks to my seat pulling the chair for me to sit upon. My females don't pay heed to the other wolves gossiping among themselves taking their rightful seats at my table.
Kal sleeps in my arms as always, I cannot wait for the day he would run around the room screaming his lungs out instead of sleeping all day. I wish to converse more with him whether it is merely playing or just making him laugh.
Deimos waits patiently. For my eyes. He needs to meet them to convey his morning wishes to me. Shutting my eyes close with an annoyed low sigh I take a deep breath to fill the emptiness I feel in my lungs these days. That hollowness seems to be smudged with darkness unable to withstand light. Kal is my light yet why? Why does it seem as though it is not enough? As though something is missing?
I meet them, his beckoning emeralds. His eyes broaden a little whilst his chest pulls in taking a breath of relief and he offers me his gleaming once in a blue moon wide smile. One without teeth but one that makes his eyes twinkle like the stars in the night sky.
"Alpha Deimos's smile sure is bright today. It is shinning right at my face." Elriam mumbles beneath her breath filling her cup with fresh juice.
My head snaps to her eyes widening to her words. I snort and choke trying to control my laughs. She is right in this case the wolves that sit close to him look even more fearful now some of them trembling visibly.
Deimos prepares to take the first bite as always that my females and I do not pay heed to. But for his title, we respect him and wait for him to begin our meals. My trials with him are of a mate and not of the Alpha he is. So I stopped taunting him by his title for I felt that was quite childish of me to do so. I am an Alpha and if Deimos were to do that to me I wouldn't be able to handle it for being an Alpha runs in my veins, it is a part of me.
I peek back at Deimos who looks at the meal splayed in front of him, his eyes focused on a particular dish. He looks up at me whilst I snap my gaze out the windows. When I meekly peek back at him he has his eyes back on the dish. Pups are moaning at the back asking to be fed. What is this male doing? Admiring the dish?
He swiftly stands up his chair screeching back upon the marble tiles. Picking up a dish from his table he begins to stride to mine at the other side of the room. Wolves watch quietly many whispering to each other of possible outcomes of his actions.
Ragon's eyes move back and forth from Deimos to me whilst he focuses on his Alpha with a soft smile silently encouraging him.
Deimos walks with confidence head held high spine straight. He walks to me with purpose. What is he doing? Is he perhaps wishing to join me at my table? That will never happen. I will never let him. Is he truly wishing to battle in front of all the wolves present?
He comes to stand in front of me whilst his eyes soften when they peer down at his sleeping male. "My female." He says. The two words twist within themselves and make love under his tongue to deliver in a soothing calming way. A way that pushes the beats of my heart to skip it's true pace, a way that makes my soul sing.
Don't! Don't call me this way. I warned you. Gritting my teeth with a tight clench to my jaw I regard him. My displeasure surges when he shows me his truth. He will always call me this way for it is not lies or manipulation. When he speaks to me his feelings and emotions towards me speaks with him.
"Deimos." I spit out.
He merely offers me another smile to my contempt. He doesn't mind rather he accepts my strikes and annoyance with him. He places the plate in front of me upon the table.
He plunges swiftly squatting, his knees bent carrying his weight his hands place the plate in front of me.
I frown unable to understand his actions. "What are you doing, Deimos?" I question scanning the contents of the plate and looking back at him. He shouldn't be this close to me, I had forbidden it. The vines of his scent wrap around my flesh as I breathe him in. A calming scent he possesses as if I am one with nature.
It is a crowded room filled with the scents of several wolves mingling together. Different faces, different features. Yet...yet why is it that he is the only one I see? The only one I feel within the depths of my heart and soul. This fate. This bond is cruel. Truly cruel.
He begins to slice the meat into small bite-size pieces. My frown deepens whilst my females watch quietly many surprised by his antics.
"I remember when you were carrying Kal in your belly and this dish was placed in front of you. An excited smile would light upon your face. You would devour this up in a matter of minutes." He chuckles with a shake of his head as if he is reminiscing on memories he is fond of. Memories he keeps locked in his soul for him to savour whenever he wishes.
Elriam looks pleased as she looks down at him. She looks at him as though she finds his actions sweet and thoughtful.
If I were to speak my truth I truly do not remember about this dish. I merely remember being starved all the time and gobbling up everything in my sight.
"Your emotions to this dish was quite nice to watch and feel. You always smiled as soon as you set your eyes on it and they would light up when your tongue tasted its flesh." Deimos says whilst pouring the cream sauce into a separate cup. "You didn't like to pour it over your meat rather dip your meat in it."
This male knows more about me than I do about myself. The little things, the ones that seem to not hold much meaning to them but...they do?
A frown lights up over my face at his actions. Is he doing this to test me? To show his pack that we have no troubles? Perhaps this is a show. All a show to stop rumours and clear doubts.
His eyes search mine and the smile he held within them vanish as soon as understanding seeps in. Understanding of my questioning towards his actions.
His jaw clenches whilst his palms manifest into tight trembling fists. He wishes to say something. Perhaps something to calm the raging fire in my mind but he stops himself, taking a deep breath he composes himself.
He stands up swiftly hand reaching forward to touch my flesh. I flinch visibly shifting back into the chair creating distance before I could drown in the sparks he will force upon me.
His eyes widen to my sudden antic. Whispers begin to surge once more erupting from the anticipating silence. Shutting my eyes close I curse everything around me. I didn't do it on purpose rather instinctually. I didn't think, my body just acted in response to the command from my mind. My heart took no role in this rather protested. Rather pleaded with me to allow his touch.
"I-I apologize. I was going to say my wishes to Kal. I didn't mean to scare you... I just-" He stumbles over his words getting worked up trying to deliver his truth to me. Trying to ease the tension that bounds us together in one cage. A slight blush creeps up my cheeks in embarrassment. Why am I so quick to assume rather than going with the flow?
"You can have him for a while after breakfast." I utter waiting patiently for him to get back to his seat so I can stop being in the spotlight that I detest.
"Yes, I would love that." He gives me a quick smile striding back to his seat paying heed to my feelings.
I peek back at the juicy slice of meat. It looks scrumptious and with my taste buds, I would probably love it. Quite funny how I couldn't remember eating this. Was I that indulged or engrossed in it?
The noisiness of the pack begins once again as Deimos takes his first bite and the wolves begin to converse and fill their bellies. The chair at his right is void rather I can feel the coldness from here.
His eyes are downcast focused on the plate that lies beneath, fingers working on cutting down his meal whilst he chews quietly not indulging in any conversations. Neither with Ragon who eats at his side who is in the same position as him nor with our warriors who talk about potential war plans and positions.
I watch him not from a viewpoint of a mate but one of an ordinary wolf. Is this how he always was before we met? Quiet, unapproachable and disinterested? The Deimos I know is not the male who sits opposite the room.
And Ragon, I...I do not recognize him in any sense. He seems very similar to his Alpha, not the playful easygoing characteristics I saw. At the end of the day, both of them are just two lonely males in my eyes and perhaps in the pack's eyes too.
"Alpha why aren't you eating?" Elriam questions at my side freeing me of the thoughts I was drowning in. Her eyes peek at the meat waiting to be eaten.
I slide the plate towards her. "You can have it, Elriam." I whisper grabbing some toast to dip into my soup.
"But Alpha Deimos, he-" She begins to reason to my words.
"I said you can have it. If you do not wish to eat it, give it to the females." I declare for my attention lies elsewhere. Kal is beginning to stir awake. Is this not perfect timing for he shall be reunited with his favourite wolf in the world. His father.