We Are Not Ready
Deimos stills and watches the juvenile calmly linking his arms behind his back. "Do not call you what? Gio?" He asks.
"I said do not call me that!" Giovanni snarls, fangs bare. His wolf ready to pounce. My eyes widen. I have never seen him get angry at Deimos. He was always calm and composed. He controlled himself with his uncle. I knew that. I saw that.
"Why must I do as you say... Gio?" My eyes snap to Deimos. Why is he irking him? Why is he angering him further? He told me a few days ago that Giovanni held anger and pain towards him. Giovanni was controlling it.
Giovanni's body begins to shake out of rage as his uncle does not listen to his words. "Only wolves who are dear to me can call me that."
"And what am I to you, Gio?" Deimos questions calmly but he takes a protective stance. He knows Giovanni has no control left. Deimos is preparing for his anger.
A deep growl leaves Giovanni's lips as he charges towards his uncle with full force. His rage finally taking control of his sanity. Deimos predicts his move and quickly dodges his oncoming fist. Giovanni moves quickly with full speed sliding through the mud with only one aim. To hit, to injure.
"You are nothing to me!" Giovanni screams as Deimos visibly flinches to his harsh words.
"Well, that's not the same for me. You are like my son, Gio." Deimos stops dodging and speaks his truth gently as Giovanni tackles him to the ground, fist raised in the air ready to hit. Deimos watches him calmly carrying his weight.
Giovanni's chest heaves, teeth grinding together. He lifts his fist higher to strike, nose scrunched up, tears welling in his agony filled eyes, but slowly calms down retracting his fist as held back tears finally flow free down his face. Clenching his jaw he gets off Deimos and puts some space between them.
Deimos gets up quickly and walks slowly towards the crying juvenile. "Gio." He calls out as if you would to a pup trying to touch his back.
"Don't touch me!" Giovanni screams turning back to look at Deimos. Tears streaming uncontrollably down his chin, eyes red and swollen. They hold so much hidden pain that is appearing in the light now.
"Gio." Deimos urges him gently closing the distance between them.
"Your son?" Giovanni scoffs. "Where were you when mamma and papa died? Where were you when I had no one to lean on? Where were you at their funeral? Where were you when... when I needed you the most?" The words are sobbed out.
"Mi dispiace, Gio. Perdonami." Deimos speaks out, eyes engulfed by heartbreak. His heart breaks for this juvenile.
"I h-had to raise G-Gia all on my own. And every time I felt like I was drowning, you... you came to my mind. But you weren't there to save me." Giovanni says palm clamped over his mouth to control his loud sobs.
"Mi dispiace." Are the only words that leave Deimos's lips.
"And you barge in here not to see or comfort me but to train me. Your sense of duty surprises me." Giovanni spits the words out. Anger consumes him once more like wildfire.
Deimos quickly grabs him in a hug and as Giovanni scratches, screams to get away from the stronghold of his uncle my male pleads with him.
"Though it may not seem like it, I came here to see you and be with you, Gio. It's all my fault for not being there for you. I was wrong. Your parents must be proud to see how well you have grown up on your own with Gia. I... I am proud as well. Forgive me." Deimos whispers as Giovanni stops fighting and sobs in his arms.
His fists bang harshly upon Deimos's chest while whispering, "Ti odio, zio." Over and over again. Deimos doesn't say anything and keeps holding the pain-filled wailing juvenile.
Deimos's eyes find mine and I nod with a soft smile grazing my lips. He has done well. Clutching Gia tighter in my arms I carry her up the stairs. I want to put her to bed so she sleeps peacefully. With every step I take, she stirs not liking the movement.
Entering the hall my eyes find several doors. As I go closer I see engraved names upon them. The first door says 'Alessandro & Bella'. This must have been the chamber of the previous Alpha and Luna. I walk quickly past Giovanni's room to find Gia's adjoined to it.
Stepping in, I stride directly to her cot and place her down softly. She whines but settles as soon as warm softness envelopes her. My eyes glide around the room to find lots of pictures of her and Giovanni.
One of the pictures capture my eyes, Giovanni is holding a laughing toothless Gia in his arms both covered with birthday cake. He has raised her well. She cries a lot for her age probably because she is still developing at her own pace.
As I look out the window I find Deimos and Giovanni sitting on the grass engaging in what seems like a serious conversation. Yes, they definitely need to talk it out.
My legs demand rest after standing for so long. I sit on the rocking chair next to Gianna's cot and my mind begins to wander. Is this what it would feel like if I were a mother? Is this how I would decorate my pup's room? What would we name... wait would it be a male or a female? Deimos would probably want a male since we need an heir but I can give him a female as well. Two pups. I smile.
Closing my eyes, I allow the chair to rock me. Family. I picture Deimos holding a pup in his arms whilst my stomach is big and swollen with another. Would we be a happy family? I think we will. Deimos has grown so much as a male to me. He would be an amazing father as well.
As these thoughts consume my mind, unknowingly I drift off to sleep. My mind at peace but filled with dreams of a tiny family surrounded by warmth and happiness.
I startle and getup quickly to the sound of Gianna's wailing. The cloud of haze disappears and I am alert. The blanket covering my body falls onto the ground. Blanket? Who covered me?
"Hush now. I am here." I stumble trying to reach her in the little light coming through the open door. "Had a good sleep, sweetheart?" I ask her gently chuckling.
Her tiny fists are raised in the air whilst her mouth is open wide allowing soft whimpers and whines. She wants to be carried. I quickly pick her up and put her on my chest. She immediately calms down as her nose sniffs my scent.
"M-Mamma." She says and I stop in my tracks, eyes wide. Did she just call me mamma? My heart pounds in my chest to her words.
"Gia. I am not your mamma." I try to reason with her but she snuggles into me deeper.
"Mamma." She says again. I quickly turn to the sound of a gasp behind me. My eyes find Giovanni and Deimos side by side watching the scene take place. I didn't even notice them come in.
I don't look at Deimos. I am scared to see his reaction. As soon as Gia sees Giovanni she leans her body towards him and I place her in his open arms. I don't look at Giovanni as well, I don't know what to say. Am I erasing her memories with Luna Bella and engraving mine?
"Thank you for taking care of her, Luna Lumina. Your car is waiting outside to take you home." Giovanni says softly with a bow and I nod with a smile.
I finally look at Deimos but he looks at the ground, eyes frowning and jaw clenched. What kind of reaction is this? Is this all you will show me?
I walk past the two males without saying another word. I was fuming. First, he blocks his thoughts from me then he acts like he is annoyed! Is that how the idea of pups makes him feel? Striding quickly towards the pack gates, I find Elriam waving at me with Ragon next to her.
"I will ride with you, Elriam." I say quickly getting into her car and slamming the car door. Elriam and Ragon exchange a knowing look and Ragon walks to the car behind us.
It's not like I am asking much. Or am I? I want to be selfish. I want us to be like normal mates, though I know it's impossible with who we are but we can try for some things. Together. Like a family.
I don't move my eyes from the window as Elriam sits next to me and the driver starts the car. The ride back home was quiet and Elriam doesn't ask me anything giving me my space. Are Deimos and Ragon discussing this? Well, it will be in my favor as I know how supportive Ragon is.
As soon as the gates of our house open and the driver parks the car. I open the car door walking as fast as possible to our villa.
"Lumina!" Deimos calls out to me but I pay that male no heed. I am not interested just like he isn't. I keep walking around the fountain, through the back porch, and into our villa with Deimos hot on my trail.
I head into our bedroom whilst he enters and shuts the door behind him as I sit on the vanity chair removing my earrings. A quiet sigh leaves his lips as he walks softly towards me reaching for my eyes through the mirror.
"Why are you upset with me, my female?" He asks gently.
"Why did you block your mind from me?" I ask him as he flinches to my question. I have caught him off guard. He remains quiet. I feel another barrier standing tall between us. Another I need to break down.
"Lumina." He pleads. He doesn't want me to ask him that. Why? Fine I shall strike the next arrow.
"Why did you react that way when Gia called me mamma?" I poke him with another question. My attacks ruthlessly aimed for a direct hit. He looks away from me. Ah, that's all the answer I need from him.
"Why are you making this a big deal, mate? You are looking too deep into every action of mine. They don't hold any mea-" He dodges the fire with a watery answer and I cut him off.
"I want a pup." Is all I say looking straight into his eyes as his eyes widen. My head held high I analyze his reaction to my words.
"W-What?" He asks.
"I have had this burning desire even before I met you. But it has grown with each passing day and I cannot hold it anymore." I say getting up. "Deimos. I want to start a family." I say enunciating each word clearly. Holding my breath, I wait for his answer.
He takes a step back taking a deep breath in. "We are not ready, Lumina." He says. I am not taken back. I expected it. I know him now.
"We are, my male. I can see it. I... I can feel it." I close the space between us.
"I am happy with just you, mate." He speaks his truth.
"We can become much happier. I really want to be a mother." I say softly.
"Where is this suddenly coming from? Is this because you spend a lot of time with Gia? Is it because she called you mamma? Lumina, we just mated yesterday. Why does it feel like we are always rushing?" He asks confused. Fingers sliding through his hair, frustrated. He cannot understand.
"We are not rushing. We have been together for years! If we had a pup when we met it would have grown to become as Gia now! I cannot stand waiting anymore." I say as my lips quiver. Tears held back.
"I understand, my female. But you won't understand or even like the reason as to why we are not ready." He says.
"Tell me! I will try if it means I could have a pup with you-" A sob leaves my lips but I continue. "I will try for us."
"I cannot, my female. Forgive, me." He says and I look away, my palm wiping tears that roll down my cheeks. He moves towards me to comfort his weeping female but I shake my head and move away from his touch.
"Y-You always do this and expect me to always listen and abide." I sniff, a hiccup escapes my lips.
"I am doing this for us, Lumina. I don't want to let go of this happiness we tried hard to build." He whispers. I don't say another word turning away from him looking out the window.
I feel the heat of his body on my back, his palms holding my biceps, and his soft lips at the back of my head.
"Please trust my words, Lumina. We are not ready." He whispers, tone pleading and with one last lingering kiss, he leaves the room as tears fall freely down my face.