Meaning of Love
I am drowning. It's not the type where your hands flail trying to grasp something while your lungs fill with water and your heart slowly loses its beats. It's the type where you are calm, peaceful and warm. Even though you are underwater, you like it there despite the danger and you never wish to return to land. Deimos is the water. He has swallowed me completely head to toe and while I do not know what the future holds, I wish to be surrounded in his warmth.
Each day holds a new memory for me to keep. He shows me what life is and I tell him what death is. Death is all I've known yet he pours light into my darkness saying life has meaning and there is a reason I was born. Though he is the first male I have showed my past to my heart often feels wary that he might end up judging me by my past. But he always shows me a part of me I never knew existed.
Looking at myself in the mirror while brushing my hair I wonder how I look in Deimos's eyes. How does my male see me? Rather what does he see in me? Getting up I leave my room skipping down the stairs trying to hide my excitement. Today is the Meeting of Alpha's. I went last time alone but today I shall go with my male. I want every wolf to know who belongs to me and who I belong to.
Reaching down the stairs heading to the dining hall I sit on my seat waiting for Deimos with the others.
"Alpha." Elriam calls to me.
"Yes, Elriam." I respond.
"Would you like me to accompany you to the meeting?" She asks me with uncertainty coating her words.
Frowning I look at her while I speak, "Of course, you are my Beta. You will always stand at my side. Do not forget that." I tell her while she gives a pleasant smile.
"Yes, Alpha." She replies with a bow while Deimos barges into the room, Ragon behind him.
"Forgive me, I was late." Deimos says to the pack as he takes his seat next to me. As we wait for him to take the first bite. Deimos places some food onto my plate first making the entire pack stand still while a pin drop silence overtakes the entire room as they watch with opened mouths and widened eyes. My eyes widen further as my lips quiver.
My male showed to me and the entire pack that he finally acknowledges me as his mate. This is what I fought for and this is what I truly wanted. He has finally accepted me as his and as part of the pack.
Deimos ignores his surrounding as he smiles gently at me and begins to eat his food while I try to control my tears of joy. My dreams... one by one. He is making them come to life. As the breakfast comes to an end Deimos and I leave to the car with Ragon and Elriam hot on our heels.
While Ragon drives with Elriam in the passenger seat, I look to Deimos who sits next to me reading some papers he has in his hands while fixing his glasses. I slowly touch his hand with shaking fingers making his eyes snap to mine.
"Thank you." I slowly whisper to him as he frowns.
"For what?" He questions me
"For a-accepting me." I stutter a little while I answer him. He sighs softly removing his glasses turning his body towards me.
"I should have done this long before. I apologize, I didn't know it would affect you this much." He says gently while I shake my head not wanting his apology as he gives a small smile and continues his work.
The drive to the meeting was shorter compared to from my pack's location. It took about an hour and a half to reach. Reaching the mansion, a different scene lies in front of me. No wolf is in sight that means they are in the hall waiting for Deimos's arrival just like I was.
As Deimos walks to the hall doors, I walk next him with my head held high. Not because I am next to him but because I am an Alpha. Once he opens the doors the wolves stop their chatter and bow deeply before him while I watch him with pride.
He looks towards me with a sly smile. "This was the same scene I saw last time except one naughty female wolf had the guts to not bow before me and moreover argue with me. She was standing right there." He whispers in my ear pointing to the place I had been standing when I first met him. A deep blush covers my face to which he chuckles.
"Rise." He commands the wolves as they get up and take their seats while he moves to the head of the table where two chairs are placed next to each other. He sits on his while he waits for me to sit next to him. I do not look at him walking with my head held high I sit at an empty seat with the other Alpha's with Elriam standing behind me just like last time.
This angered Deimos a little. I could see it in his eyes yet he covers it with a look of promise. A punishment. As Ragon tries to control his laughter Deimos starts the meeting while I barely listen. I block all sounds and let my eyes wander slowly to the movement of his lips and eyes to the way his body responds to my gaze. The sun rays fall softly on his thick strands of hair as his thick eyelashes flutter as he blinks.
My heartbeat increases as my mouth salivates. I close my legs to which his eyes snaps towards them. He looks from my legs to my eyes as he clenches his jaw and fists his palms. Why do I always seem to want him when I do nothing but just look at him?
"Are you even listening?" An Alpha breaks my daze as he questions me while I hold in my snarl due to his disrespect. "I asked you if you had extra stock to share with other packs?" His voice grows louder making Elriam take a move towards him to which I stop with a raise of my hand.
"Yes, I do." I reply calmly slowly analyzing this Alpha in front of me. He is entering into dangerous waters.
"Were you even listening to the meeting, female?" He questions me with clear distaste in his eyes. He detests me. As he walks towards me the hall grows silent the wolves happy with his confrontation to me.
"You are no Alpha." He whispers in my ear holding the collar of my shirt to which Elriam snarls her wolf wanting to tear him apart. As he lets go of me with a victorious smirk across his face, I just watch him calmly. The calm before the storm.
"Touch my mate again you will have no hands Alpha James, talk badly of her again you will have no life." Deimos's threat thunders across the walls of the hall while Alpha James’s swallows and looks towards me with wide eyes. The wolves start to shake in their seats with Deimos's revelation.
I get up dusting my hands and walk slowly to Alpha James. "Do you know what Deimos did by speaking just now?" I question him tilting my head to which he slowly shakes his head.
"He saved your life." I whisper in his ears as he begins to sweat. "Another second of your disrespect towards me your blood would have been in my throat." I say sliding one claw down his throat to which he swallows. Filled with fear.
I go back to my seat looking back at Deimos indirectly telling him to continue the meeting. Throughout the rest of the meeting no one dares to look at me nor disturb me. Once the meeting ends and the wolves leave outside Deimos walks towards me.
"What were you thinking mate?" He questions me. Is he angry with what I did with Alpha James?
"Deimos, you know he was the one-." As I start to blabber my explanation, he cuts me off.
"What were you thinking looking at me like that during the meeting? Did you want me to take you in front of everyone? Is that what you wanted?" He growls softly in my ear as he questions me.
"Wait you are questioning me about that and not of Alpha James?" I ask him confused.
"If that bastard talked for one more second my wolf would have gone for his throat." He says indirectly that he accepts what I did to which I smile in return. "You can leave if you wish I am heading to the office to discuss private matters." He says walking towards the door to which I nod in return.
Going back with Elriam I keep thinking of what happened at the meeting today, we have come a long way. Deimos and I. He has begun to take my side in things, moreover be by my side. My heart clenches with happiness as I think about him, I feel no more pain.
As the sun sets, I receive a call as the phone near my bed rings. I pick it up and Ragon's voice flows through.
"Luna. There's an emergency here. Some Alpha's are causing problems with land. We need to stay here at the mansion for a few days." Ragon whispers in a hushed voice.
"Alright. I understand." I tell him as the line cuts off. That's all, the call was just to inform me. Sadness overcomes me, perhaps I should have just stayed with Deimos at the mansion. Now I don't even know how many days I won’t be able to see him.
Deimos didn't return the next day... or the day after that and so a week passes by. Neither me nor him call the other. Though I desperately wish to hear his voice and sometimes I even pick up the phone I don't call. I don't want to be a childish nuisance to him.
As night falls, I wait for Deimos to arrive just like the last few days staying up waiting for his scent. Picking up a book from my side table I read till sleep consumes me.
Waking up to the hushed voice of Deimos and Ragon I rush down the stairs stopping when I see Ragon and Deimos at the door. He's here, he is finally here! They both turn and look at me.
"What are you still doing up, mate?" Deimos questions me softly frowning while Ragon coughs and looks away. Deimos turns and looks at Ragon and back at me. Giving me a once over Deimos growls like he finally noticed something.
"Go back to your room now! You dare come out looking like that?" Deimos's voice grows louder making me look at my clothes. My eyes widen when I see my see- through lace white shirt and silk shorts. Rushing up the stairs taking two steps at a time I run into my room with heated cheeks.
I was so excited he finally returned and in my sleep haze that I didn't even think about what I was wearing. The door to my room opens and Deimos walks in with a towel and some papers in hand. Placing the papers on my bed he heads into my bathroom to take a shower without saying a word.
After a while, the door opens and as steam pours out Deimos walks out drying his wet hair. He comes and sits next to me on the bed to which my eyes widen. He has never done this before. Taking the papers in hand, he finally looks at me.
"What are you reading?" He asks me.
"Macbeth." I reply.
"Hmm." He hums softly as he reads his papers.
"What are you reading?" I ask him this time.
"Work." He replies short and frank making me pout.
"Deimos are you angry?" I ask him gently to which he looks at me raising his eyebrows.
"And what if I am?" He questions me folding his hands across his chest.
"I-I am sorry. I totally lost mind of what I was wearing and I just ran down." I sincerely apologized. No male would like to see their female be seen half naked by another male.
"Why, mate?" He questions me softly.
"I was just excited... that you were home." I whisper looking down. Deimos slowly reaches forward and puts his palm across my heated cheeks softly sliding his thumb across.
"Did you miss me?" He asks me gently to wish I nod.
"Then why didn't you call me, mate? I waited for your call." He asks me as I snap my head up looking at him.
"I wanted to! I even picked up the phone so many times. But I didn't want to be a nuisance." I whisper softly.
"You will never be a nuisance mate." He slowly leans down softly kissing my lips as I close my eyes tightly.
The kiss progresses from soft pecks to thrusting our tongues into each other mouths. Though it has been merely a week I missed his taste. As he lays on top of me holding his weight on his elbows, he softly kisses my neck. Sucking and nipping as liquid of want pools my core. My legs cage him around his waist pressing our cores together trying to cause friction and pleasure myself. Letting go of my neck he breathes heavily claws coming out, eyes turning pitch black.
Looking down at my clothes he growls. "I need to stop, if this goes further, I will lose my mind, mate." His chest rumbles appreciating the view in front of him. As I begin to argue and grumble that he can lose his mind and take me he chuckles and lies down next to me.
Bringing me into his chest he softly breaths as I snuggle into his neck holding on to his shirt.
"Sleep, mate." He tells me putting his nose into my hair.
As sleep slowly consumes me with the sound of his heart beat, his soft breath and the clock ticking I hear Deimos whisper to me before I fall into darkness.
"I do not know the meaning of love, but I think I am figuring it out, mate."