Chapter 129: No Longer Reasonable

I race into the house and go to Anna’s room. I heard what Annalise said, but I don’t want to believe her. I want to hold onto the hopeless idea that she got it wrong and Anna’s still sleeping in her bed. I stare at the empty crib, still not accepting it. I reach in and grab the pink blanket that covered her while she slept and bring it to my face. I breath in her scent and cling to it like it’s a lifeline. Then I fall to the ground in a heap and sob uncontrollably.

Annalise comes in and sits down on the floor next to me. She puts her arms around me and rocks, crying silent tears with me. I barely register her presence. I’m lost in a haze of anger and sadness. We sit like that for a few moments and then my anger rises up and obliterates all other feelings inside me. I detach myself from Annalise and march into the living room where Logan is talking quietly to Derek.

“Have you been able to get a location on Brian?” I ask.

“No, they are still searching,” Logan replies hesitantly. He’s not sure what state I’m in. I straighten my spine and hold my head high.

“Well I think it’s obvious he’s the one that took Anna and this is the last place he would have been. So the search should start here,” I tell him.

“I had the same thought and I’ve already called them here,” he replies.

“Good. Let me know when they get here. I’m going with them,” I inform him and turn on my heel to go to my bedroom. I need to shower and change and pack a bag. Brian is no longer my brother, he’s the enemy. The rage burning in my gut leaves no room for sympathy.

Derek walks in the room and I see the pain in his eyes. I have to shut my emotions off. I have to ignore the look on his face that mirrors my own.

“Lily, I think you might be...acting a bit...rash,” he says slowly, trying to gauge my reaction to his words as he says them.

“How so?” I ask. I’m teetering on the edge between hysteria and fury.

“We have no idea where Brian is. I agree it makes sense that he’s the one who took her, but we have to be sure about that, and sure of where he is before we ride off into battle guns blazing. We have to come up with a solid plan,” he says.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m going to find my daughter as soon as possible. And you bet your ass I’m going in guns blazing. I’m going to get her back, Derek. As soon as she’s safe, Brian is going to realize what a grave error he’s made,” I say vehemently.

“I have no doubt, but we have to be smart about this. We can’t take any chances with our daughter,” he replies.

“I don’t know why you are implying that I would,” I say indignantly.

“I would never imply that. I’m just trying to be the voice of reason here. We need to keep cool heads,” he tells me.

“Reason? That left with Anna. I am no longer reasonable, no longer willing to forgive and forget. He will pay for this. He took our baby girl!” I say, my voice breaking on my last words. Derek comes to me and wraps his arms around me, holding me tightly.

“I know, sweetheart. And I swear to you that we’ll get her back. No matter what,” he murmurs into my hair. I let him hold me for a second but then I gently push away. I can’t give in to my emotions; I have to stay strong for Anna. But his presence has a calming effect and I feel a little more steady.

“I’m just asking you to give Logan and his men a chance to pick up a solid trail,” he says.

“Yes. You’re right. We can’t waste time going in the wrong direction,” I reply. There is wisdom in waiting, even though I’m impatient and desperate.

We both take showers and change, then get bags packed and ready to head out as soon as Logan says the word. As we head back into the living room, I hear Annalise and John talking to Logan.

“Ok, I think that’s enough information to go on for now. If you think of anything else let me know,” he tells them.

“Any news?” I ask him.

“Not since the last time you asked me,” he replies. I give him a sheepish look. I am being a bit of an overbearing mama bear, or wolf, so to speak.

“I’m so sorry,” Annalise says again and I squeeze her hand to reassure her.

“It’s not your fault. Please don’t blame yourself. My brother is a twisted & unhinged person. He blames me for everything bad that’s ever happened to him. If this is anyone’s fault, it’s mine,” I tell her.

“Should I get some pack members involved with the search?” John asks Derek.

“That might be premature. We should really find out more information so we can determine how big of a team we need. Being more discreet and easily mobile might be in our best interest,” Logan interjects. Derek nods in agreement.

Then the door swings open and Felix walks in. He has a grin on his face and although under normal circumstances I would enjoy his jovial mood, this time it irritates me. I wonder what it’s like to never take life seriously.

“Where have you been that’s put you in such a good mood?” I ask with a little bit of an edge to my voice.

“I put my ears on the ground,” he replies.

“What?” I ask.

“I have developed a little network of people who keep an eye, and an ear, on their surroundings for anything suspicious or notable. I contacted them to be on the lookout for Brian and a baby girl. So far I don’t have anything worth chasing, but they are all alerted to get in touch as soon as they see anything,” he replies. He was out trying to help. I feel a little bad about my hostility.

“Thank you, Felix. That’s great,” I say sincerely. He smiles at me, but there is a deep concern in his eyes. Anna has stolen everyone’s heart since the moment she was born, but Felix is absolutely smitten. I have no doubt he will do everything he can to help us.

“So now all we can do is wait,” Derek says.