Chapter 95- Tell Me Asher.

“Fuck”, Asher swore to himself once the door closed behind her. He slumped back down on his chair and swallowed the lump that was lunged in his throat before taking a deep breath and looking at his hand that was now healing.

He stared down at the cut and bit his lips. She had seen him cut himself- she had caught him red handed or was it possible that she hadn’t? He hoped to himself but he knew the possibilities of that was slim to none. She had definitely seen him- her facial expression had said it all!

He sighed and opened his drawer, taking out a wet wipe and using it to wipe off the excess blood sticking onto his hand. She, out of all people had seen in him such a vulnerable state. No one had ever caught him doing such a thing and maybe that was because everyone knew better than to barge into his office without knocking!

He ran a hand through his hair in frustration as he remembered that his mother had sent for him. He rose from his seat, locking the door securely behind him and made his way to his home, not expecting the crowd in his living space. He mentally groaned when he saw his brothers and father but he managed to ignore them as he greeted his mother,

“You sent for me?”, he let out a breath of relief once he noticed that Viola was nowhere to be seen- he was far from ready to face her after what she had seen him do. Wait, was it possible that she had had come here to announce his deepest and darkest secret?

His entire body went rigid and his face became hard, his mouth forming a small but noticeable snarl, “Why am I here?”, he spoke with much aggression, his walls that had come down for a second building their way back up in defense.

Brea had noticed her son’s sudden change but chose to ignore it- he was going through so much and she understood that he could mirror many characters at once in order to keep his guard up, “Sit down, Asher. We need to talk”, she spoke. He rose up an eyebrow in questioning, his eyes once again scanning the room, “All of us, Asher. All of us need to sit down and discuss the future of this pack. Now!”.

Asher sighed and went to sit down on the one-seater at the furthest side of the room, he crossed a leg over the other, “Go on”, he honestly was not in the mood for any of this. He hadn’t slept in days and he was just about to succumb to the wishes of his eyes and calls of his bed but clearly, everyone else had other plans.

“We have decided…”,

“Who is ‘we’ you speak of?”, Asher asked, tilting his head to the side, causing his mother to sigh gravely at her stubborn son,

“Okay”, she bit her lips, “I”, she corrected, “Have decided to clear out the pack”, Asher sat up, eyebrows knitted together in confusion and protest, “Hear me out and let me finish”, Brea warned, “Your father and I will be taking those who cannot defend themselves to the headquarters for maximum protection”,

“I do not need your help”, Asher bit out distastefully.

Levi scoffed, “Why don’t you get it Asher? This isn’t about you! This is about the safety of hundreds and I can’t believe that all you still think off his yourself! You are a selfish little prick Asher; you make it so fucking hard to support anything you do!”,

Asher stood to his feet in anger, “I do not need your support either!”,

“You would be nothing without our support! Absolutely nothing! You have made a complete mess of things and because of what? Some girl that isn’t even your mate? Wake up Asher! She walked away from you before even getting abducted in the first place, what assures you that she would want you even after you find her?”, to say his brother’s words stung was an understatement, they sliced deeper than a knife and they couldn’t stop stabbing him in the same place… over and over again.

“Boys, please calm down and Levi, do not speak to you brother like that”, Brea chastised,

“No”, Asher shook his head, “He is right- I don’t know if Imogen would still want me even after I save her but that doesn’t change the fact that my conscience or love for her would ever allow me to leave her to die there”, he met his mother’s brown eyes with his green eyes that showed nothing but emptiness, “You can do whatever you want to do. In fact, take them all with you. I will fight this battle alone- no point of risking so many lives for just one person”, Asher wasn’t thinking properly and it was clear as day. The last thing his mother was going to do was let him walk into a battle on his own but she had decided that she was going to take all the children and women and men who were unable to defend themselves with her.

It was passed sun down and no one had heard from Asher since noon when he had stormed out on his family. No one had bothered to follow him as they all knew that he just needed sometime to cool down his hot head. Soon after, Brea and Jax left, leaving their sons alone with their Beta.

“We should leave at dawn”, Levi declared as he made his way up the stairs,

“I agree”, Liam nodded, “We have been away from the pack for too long”, this decision made Viola bite her lips and of course, the brothers had noticed, “What is it, V?”,

She sighed and bent her head down, “I want to stay here to help look for my sister”,

“Can’t you do that from our pack?”, Liam sighed and Viola shook her head, “Very well then, you may stay”, he began up the stairs as well before turning back, “Can you please lock the back door on your way out?”, she nodded and headed straight for the kitchen door, pushing it open so she could get to the door she had been asked to lock.

Just as she was about to lock the door, she made out a figure in the garden, sitting on a bench just a few feet from the lake. At first, she was startled and wanted to raise an alarm but then, a familiar scent flew through her nostrils. She sighed and could hear her wolf purring with in her as she calmed down.

It was just Asher- alone.

Worry spiked up in her chest- Asher was alone! Images of earlier that day flooded through her mind and she immediately pulled the door open quietly so as to not alert him of her arrival. She had seen what one of Asher’s ‘alone’ time looked like and it made her wonder just how many times he had done that to himself, considering the fact that he is mostly always alone.

She couldn’t control herself. Her feet took her to where he was sitting and before she could stop or help herself, she was sitting beside him and looking at nothing just the way he was. They were in some sort of comfortable silence- neither of them talking, breathing too loud or even so much as acknowledging each other’s presence but at some point, the silence had to be broken, even if it was just by a simple sigh leaving Viola’s lips.

“No one knows I do it”, he finally spoke, she gave him a look of confusion,

“What?”, she whispered,

He turned to face her with those emotionless eyes, “No one knows I cut myself and I will like to keep it that way”, he detailed.

Her lips pursed together, “Not even Imogen?”, she hated mentioning her name to him, she shouldn’t even be bringing her up but of course, everything just had to be about Imogen- she was fucking tired of living in her sister’s shadows. Asher shook his head and turned away from her,

“As I said, no one knows and I will like to keep it that way”.

She bit her tongue to stop herself from speaking but she knew she had to let it all out to him and give him a piece of her mind even though it was far from wanted, “You need help Asher, what I saw was far from normal”, she sh0uddered in remembrance, “Your eyes were glazed over like something had come over you and you were smiling Asher. You were smiling while digging a knife through your skin”,

“It’s because I like the pain”, he shrugged and horror washed through her features at how cold and empty his words sounded.

She shook her head, not believing it for a second, “No one likes pain”,

“Clearly, you do not know me”, he was getting tired of this back and forth and he was starting to wish he hadn’t spoken.

“I know that you are not the complete asshole that everyone thinks you are”, she pointed out, causing him to lift up an eyebrow, “You stopped having sex with Imogen when you found out I was your mate, why?”,

He scoffed, “Because my mother nearly died when my father slept with other women and I didn’t want to hurt you or put you through the same thing”,

“Except, the only reason why she felt that pain was because they had already sealed their mateship by mating each other but we had no such connection and you knew this”, Asher’s heart started beating faster than usual as his mind scrambled for a way to defend himself against these allegations, “So, tell me Asher, why did you stop having sex with Imogen knowing I wouldn’t feel any pain?”.