13

Celeste

Liam kicked, and I snuck my hand down to press against my

swollen belly, careful not to move the rest of my body. Katie’s cousin Sarah was busily brushing cosmetics on my face, and I didn’t want anything to

smudge. Sarah’s twin, Mary, was chattering away at Katie as she did the bride’s makeup, and I was grateful not to have to participate in keeping up the conversation.

Can you feel the excitement, Sweetheart? I thought to my baby. He kicked again, and I had to work not to smile.

Technically, Nathan had the right to name the baby without any input from me at all. But he’d stopped me on the way out of the agency after we’d signed the last round of paperwork. He’d seemed almost shy when he asked if I had an opinion about naming our son Liam.

“It means resolute protection,” he’d told me seriously, walking me to my car.

“Appropriate for the future Alpha who is already protecting our pack,” I’d agreed.

Nathan’s expression had gone serious. “It’s my promise to him, too,” he’d said, firmly. “I’ll take good care of him, Celeste. Always.”

How could I not agree to that? Since then, I’d taken to calling Liam by name when I talked to him, which I did constantly. He was an active little boy, and I’d read that talking to him was good for his development, so I did it as much as possible. Mostly, it was mindless narration of what I was doing, but I told myself the specific words mattered less than my baby knowing I loved him and was paying attention.

Occasionally, I couldn’t help but critique his food choices, too.

Today was the perfect example. Despite needing all the sleep I could get before Katie’s wedding, I’d been forced to drag myself out of bed at 3 a.m. because of a ravenous craving for pickles and marshmallow fluff. I’d told him in no uncertain terms that the entire situation was ridiculous, but there hadn’t been any help for it. By the time Sarah had started my make-up at 10

a.m., I’d been deeply lamenting my inability to consume caffeine. A triple- shot latte would have made all the fuss so much easier to deal with.

For all that I would be happy to be done with cravings and food restrictions and the other inconveniences of pregnancy, a tiny part of me had started to dread my approaching due date. I wasn’t afraid of the birth— we had a solid birthing plan set up, and Dr. Carlton would be there walk me through it.

It was just that once Liam was born, he wouldn’t be wholly mine any more. I loved talking to my son. I loved knowing every little detail about him, as far as it was possible at this stage. Once he was born, he would belong primarily to Nathan. I might not be there to hear his first

words or see him take his first steps. I wouldn’t be there when he woke in the night fussing or to sing him a lullaby before bed. I’d known when I’d signed the agreement that it would be that way, but it had all been so nebulous. Distant and detached. As my due date approached, it felt very, very real, and more than a little heartbreaking.

“There,” Sarah announced, happily. “All done.”

I pulled myself back into the moment. Katie needed all of my attention right now.

“Thank you.” Getting out of the chair was more of an ordeal than it should have been. For all that I hadn’t put on that much weight, my center of gravity had shifted dramatically, and pregnancy was wreaking hell on my balance. Still, I managed without mishap or the need for help and excused myself. I needed to make a restroom run and then check in with the best man to make sure all of the men in the wedding party were on time and properly dressed. Being a Maid of Honor was an incredible amount of

work, and I would never have done it for anyone but Katie.

After verifying that everything else was going smoothly, I returned to the room where the other girls were getting ready. Other members of the pack were already arriving, and I navigated my way through quick hugs and waves of welcome, determined not to get sidetracked.

I didn’t see Nathan, although I knew he would be arriving any minute if he wasn’t there already. Most likely, he was checking on Katie’s

father, making sure everything was in place before the ceremony started like a supportive Alpha. Comfortingly, the awareness that I would see him at some point during or after the ceremony didn’t send my stomach fluttering in nausea or panic. I’d spent hours with the agency counselor

working through my feelings.

With her gentle guidance, I’d been able to accept that Nathan and I had made a mistake having sex when we did. We’d both been complicit in that choice, lost in the heightened emotions embroiling our pack and the

surrogacy. Carrying guilt or resentment about it forward would be unhealthy for everyone. Putting it behind me had been difficult, but worth it. The last time we’d met at the agency, I’d seen the way Nathan responded when I was open and welcoming. It had been beautiful and exactly the type of relationship I wanted our son to be born into. Whenever I saw him today, it would be fine.

I made it back to the room just in time to see Katie getting out of her chair, make-up finished and flawless. She was beaming and practically vibrating with energy.

“Did you see Leo?” she asked, grasping my hand. “Is he here?”

“Of course, he’s here!” I swatted her arm. “He looks very nice in his tux, and he can’t wait to see you. Come on, get your clothes off so we can get you in your dress.”

For all that I never intended to make another wedding dress in my life, Katie’s was a masterpiece I was proud to say I’d created. It fit her like a glove on top, and the frothy skirt and long train made her look like a princess. I patiently fastened every tiny fabric-covered button up her back while her cousins teased her about the fun she would have when Leo unfastened them that night.

Finally, with Katie perfectly dolled up, I sent her off to take pre-

wedding pictures with the women in her family and got myself into my own dress. It was a tea-length periwinkle blue number—one of those dresses you know you’ll never wear again in your life, but it made her happy. For my part, I was just pleased I could still get into it. Luckily, it was an Empire

waisted style, and I’d been able to ease the seams a bit to accommodate my

expanding belly. Another few weeks, though, and I might not have been able to make it work.

I collected Katie again in time to get her in position before the processional started. Certain everyone was in place, I accepted the arm of the best man and awaited our cue. All eyes were on us as we stepped through the church’s main doors and began our measured steps down the aisle.

One pair of eyes rested on me with a weight that I felt more than all the others combined. Nathan.

I met his eyes boldly for just a second, and the focus in them took my breath away. He looked every inch the Alpha: tall, strong, and intense. Quickly, I darted my gaze back toward the front of the church, my heart fluttering.

The best man relinquished me at the dais, and I helped Katie’s cousins arrange her train and then took her bouquet so she could clasp hands with Leo. The two of them stared rapturously at the priest as he began to speak, and I let my gaze drift back out over the assemblage.

Nathan still had his eyes fixed on me, their green depths unfathomable and patient.

I felt myself flush and quickly tried to brush the reaction off. I got hot easily these days. Increased metabolism, Dr. Carlton said. It was just that. I was not blushing over