Chapter 38 HIKE
Adam’s POV
I grumble awake to the feeling of something warm beneath me rising and falling. For a second I think I’ve drifted into another nightmare; the kind where my body isn’t mine, where everything feels wrong… but the smell of Kael's scent hits me before panic can swallow me whole.
I blink my eyes open and realize I’m sprawled across his chest, my cheek pressed right over his heartbeat. And… we’re not in our room.
We’re in a car. The seat is reclined all the way back, and the early morning light is leaking through the tinted windows.
I frown. “Huh?”
Kael is still asleep. His arms are looped loosely around my waist, as if he fell asleep holding me and never let go. His face… gods. His face is so relaxed like this. All the tension that usually sits between his eyebrows is gone. His jaw looks softer. Younger. Almost boyish.
He shouldn’t be allowed to look this good when he’s unconscious. It feels unfair.
Before I fully realize what I’m doing, my fingers are already moving, tracing the line of his cheekbone. The skin there is warm. He twitches slightly but doesn’t wake. I draw my fingertip down the bridge of his nose, then along the curve of his lips.
I shouldn’t. I know I shouldn’t. But for the first time in days, the ache in my chest loosens just a little. He looks so calm. So gentle. Like everything in our world isn’t falling apart.
I let my fingers graze his jaw again and…
He chuckles.
My hand halts.
“You like me more when I’m asleep?” he murmurs, voice still rough from sleep.
My whole body jerks and I try to push myself off him, mortified. But his hand is already on my waist, pulling me right back down to him with a strength that feels unfairly smooth.
“Why did you pretend to still be asleep?” I mutter, trying to sound annoyed instead of flustered.
“I was enjoying the attention,” he says, eyes finally opening… bright, amused, and way too focused on me.
I scoff and look away because I can feel heat crawling up my neck. “Whatever. Why are we in a car? I remember falling asleep in our room.”
“Oh, that.” Kael straightens the seat, lifting both of us upright without even letting me climb off his lap. “I wanted to take you on a little nature hike.”
“A what—?”
Before I can complain, he reaches behind the seat and pulls something out.
A bouquet.
Purple iris flowers, fresh and delicate, tied with a soft ribbon.
He hands them to me with this stupid gentle smile, and I… giggle.
I giggle.
Why? Why would I giggle at flowers? I grip them like they’re precious, like they’re meant for someone better than me.
“Breakfast,” Kael announces, like this is all normal.
He opens a food basket and pulls out two flasks of warm food and a box of pastries. He feeds me the first bite himself, watching me like he’s trying to memorize every micro-expression I make.
It’s embarrassing how good the food is.
We eat together, quietly, the morning air soft around us. When we’re done, Kael opens the car door and helps me step out like I’m fragile glass.
The forest is cool, damp, and peaceful.
Kael seems completely in his element as we start hiking. I try not to complain but,
I hate walking uphill.
I hate bushes scratching my ankles.
I hate that I have no idea what’s lurking in the trees.
But Kael? He’s glowing. It's like he belongs here… and I don't think that's far fetched, I mean he's a werewolf, they probably once lived in the forest.
He catches a small wild animal, quite gently, and brings it close so I can pet it before letting it go. My heart cracks a little at the sight.
He’s trying so hard.
Despite everything happening around us: bloody fights, threats, some psycho pack waiting to kill me… he’s trying to give me something soft.
By the time we climb a larger hill, I’m done. My legs hurt. My lungs burn.
I tap his shoulder and say, “Piggyback.”
Kael doesn’t hesitate. He bends down, I climb on, and his hands hook under my thighs, lifting me like I weigh nothing.
I rest my chin on his shoulder. My feet swing. The sunlight filters through the leaves, painting everything in shades of gold and pink.
For one perfect moment…
I feel okay.
We walk like that until we reach a clearing. Cherry blossoms sway like drifting pink snow. The scene looks unreal; like something stolen from another world. Another life.
“Wow…” I whisper before I can help it.
Kael sets me down gently and we both just stand there, admiring the view.
Then… he suddenly goes down on his knee.
My blood goes cold. “Kael—?”
He holds out a ring.
A delicate silver band with a rhinestone that catches the morning light and throws tiny sparkles across his fingers.
“Will you marry me?” he asks softly.
My breath halts.
My brain empties.
My heart jumps into my throat and then plummets straight to the ground.
He’s saying words, but none of them reach me. My ears ring too loudly.
He looks up at me with those eyes — those steady, hopeful eyes — and continues, “I know things are complicated right now. I know you’re hurting. I know you don’t feel safe in your own skin. But I… I vow to fix everything. I swear I’ll make it right.”
He breathes in shakily.
“Will you, please… marry me?”
I take a step back before I realize I’m moving.
Kael falters. His hand drops slightly but the ring stays lifted, waiting…
I shake my head.
“No.”
The silence slams down like a hammer.
Kael doesn’t move or blink. He just stares.
I can’t meet his eyes. My throat feels tight. My chest hurts. My hands shake at my sides.
He doesn’t deserve a broken thing like me.
Not with everything he’s already sacrificing.
Not when being near me is getting his people hurt.
I swallow hard.
“I… I can’t,” I whisper.
He finally rises to his feet, slow, careful, as if he'd scare me away if he moves too fast.
“Adam…”
The way he says my name makes my eyes sting. It's like I’ve ruined something beautiful I never deserved to touch in the first place.
But I can’t take it back.
I can’t say yes when I’m barely holding myself together. When I don’t even know who I am anymore. When my own body feels like a ticking bomb.
And definitely not when saying yes means dragging him deeper into the chaos that follows me everywhere.
Kael stands there, quiet, the ring still in his hand.
I look away because I can’t bear the expression on his face.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I just… can’t.”
The cherry blossoms sway in the silence between us.
And I suddenly feel so cold…