CHAPTER 40

ALPHA MARK'S POV.

My thoughts shifted to Ava. How would I break the news to her? What would my reaction be like when I told her that we trusted a liar over her and that Martha's lies had finally caught up with her?

I dreaded my thoughts about the confrontation, fearing her anger and disappointment about everything.

I have been so much of a coward, that I failed to believe in her and stand by her when she needed me the most, this only made me wonder how I would face her with the truth.

‘You should tell her about it once and for all, so your soul can be at peace at the end of the day.’

My wolf chipped in quietly to me.

I know it was better to tell her about it, but my issue here is: How will I do it? Where do I get the boldness to say such a thing?

I was quiet for a while, I allowed my thoughts to run far and wide, trying to cheer myself up to be bold.

I finally picked up my phone, wanting to call her and set up a date with her later on in the evening where I would be able to spill out everything to her.

And I dropped it back again, my hands shaking badly.

I tried again and again a few more times, but I couldn't just bring myself to call her, doubting and fear holding me back every single time.

My soul would remain restless until I spoke to her about it, yet the courage I needed to speak with her was far from me.

As the day slowly dragged on, with me still tied to my thoughts and not being able to do my work for the day, I decided to allow myself more time to summon the courage I needed for the conversation.

Rushing into it would only make things worse, I don't know if that would happen, but I am sure that would be the case.

For now, I think it is right to step back a little, gather my thoughts, prepare myself, and find the right moment to make things right with Ava.

‘There is no right moment to confront situations like this, you create the right moment yourself.’

My wolf spoke up again, but I entirely ignored it.

I did not want anything to pressure me at this point, I wanted to go at my pace and that is precisely what I will do.

My thought again was interrupted by the knock that came on my office door and the general secretary walked in after, carrying a stack of files with him.

“Sir, these documents urgently require your signature,” he said, placing them on my desk.

Pushing it closer to myself, “I would do just that and call you when I am done with it,” I replied.

As he left the office, closing the door behind him, I took a deep breath, deciding that it was time to let go of whatever was bothering me and focus on work.

The company couldn't afford to lag, not when everything else is falling apart around me, I wouldn't be able to hold up if this joined in the equation.

I have my responsibilities I need to focus on, at least for now.

I picked up one of the files out of the stack and began to read through it.

Despite how hard I tried to concentrate on the content of the file, my mind still buzzed with the issues disturbing me, and it was a struggle for me to concentrate.

But I refused to surrender to my thoughts and I pushed through, forcing myself to focus on the task at hand.

One by one, I reviewed the document and inserted my signature where it was needed, walking through the stack of files.

The day wore on, and the stack of files before me had drastically reduced, I went on with it until I finished sorting it out and called on the general secretary to take it back.

With that, I moved to the new task of the day, each task I completed gave me a small sense of accomplishment and the strength to forge on.

Although what I felt for getting my task completed wasn't enough to drain the turmoil I felt completely out of me, it made a slight difference.

Finally, my table clock signaled to me that it was the end of the day.

I arranged my desk, happy that the long day filled with a roller coaster of emotions had finally come to an end, I picked myself up when I was done with clearing my table and grabbed my coat.

As I left the office, my coat in one hand and my briefcase in the other, I felt a pang of exhaustion mixed with a lingering sense of unease.

My drive home, through the busy streets of the city, was what I imagined it to be, the restlessness within me refusing to subside and give me breathing space.

My thoughts kept on drifting to Ava and how my cowardliness made her face so much injustice and the fact that I needed to clear her on about what had just happened.

The more I tried to push it out of my mind, still holding onto the fact that she needed space, the stronger the urge became to see her and talk.

My grip on the steering wheel tightened as I wrestled earnestly with my thoughts.

My plan of waiting didn't seem like a solution to the problem anymore, as my soul went on being taunted, giving me no breathing space.

Suddenly, without almost realizing it, I made a sharp, U-turn and started heading to Ava's house.

I finally made up my mind, I couldn't just go home, not with my mind in such a dissociated state.

I needed to see Ava, to talk to her, to tell her every single detail, and then go on to hope that I find my peace afterward, if not completely, but at least a little.