Chapter 83 Confession
“You have no idea what it was like to grow up in my family!” Serena said. She was trying to remain calm, but how could she when she was going to have to dive into all her past trauma? “Your family loves you,” Logan said. “I know that, Logan!” she spat. “They love me and I love them. There is nothing we wouldn’t do for each other, but that’s not the point. I wasn’t chosen to be the next Alpha, my twin was.”
“Why does that matter?” Logan asked. He knew that in multi-child households where one was to become the Alpha, the other could get less attention. Serena didn’t show any outward signs that she hadn’t felt loved or adored.
“It matters because after we hit a certain age, Santino was the one they did everything for. It didn’t matter what I wanted, it didn’t matter what my goals were or anything about my own life. We always did everything Santino wanted. Whatever food he wanted to eat, the vacations he wanted to take, it was all about furthering his education.”
Logan arched an eyebrow at Serena. She crossed her arms and shook her head. She didn’t think that Logan would ever understand what she wanted to say. He was an only child, and he was the successor to the Alpha line. “I had to find other ways to prove myself,” she explained. “You never had to prove yourself to them,” he said. It was a nice sentiment, but Serena shook her head, scoffing. “You don’t get it,” she said firmly. “I had to show my family I was worth being proud of, that my education and that my personal wants and needs were worth paying attention to. So, I decided to go for something no one else in my family had. Something that would make me just as needed by the pack and just as important.” Logan watched her. Serena shook her head again. She turned around, looking out the small window in the treehouse. The ground looked so far below! Wind blew by and the treehouse creaked. Thankfully, Logan was listening rather than raging and getting out of control. Serena hoped he would keep it together, if for no other reason than to hear what she had to say.
“I chose being a doctor,” she continued. “Becoming a doctor in the human world requires intelligence, determination, competitiveness, the same qualities that an Alpha possesses. I wanted my family to see that I could be just as good as Santino, and that I could be an Alpha too.” Logan chuckled, shaking his head. Serena glared at him over her shoulder. “A female Alpha?” he asked. Serena rolled her eyes.
“It isn’t that simple,” she said. “I knew I’d never actually be Alpha, but I also knew that as a pack doctor, I’d be one of the few that could go toe to toe with the Alpha.” “Yes, you’ve demonstrated that stubbornness more than once with me,” Logan reminded her. Serena gave a humorless smile. She sighed, leaning against the wall of the treehouse. More wind blew by, and leaves whirled around outside. “So, I left to pursue my own avenue to the same kind of strength and worthiness as my brother,” she went on. “I was determined to measure up. I was determined to show my family my worth. There was no turning back for me.” “And that’s why you stayed in the human world after having the twins?” Logan asked, filling in parts of the story. Serena chuckled. “You’re skipping ahead,” she said. “First, I found out I was pregnant. I was terrified! | had no support in the human world. I was used to having the pack to fall back on. I already knew how rigorous my schedule with medical school was, and I had no means of support as far as a job.” “But you still didn’t ask for help?” Logan pointed out. Serena shook her head. “I couldn’t!” she insisted. “If I’d told my parents I was pregnant, they would have come and taken me from medical school. They would have brought me back to the pack, and my career would have been over before it began.” “That would have been easier;” Logan said. Serena scoffed and shook her head. “You’re just as bad as them!” she said, throwing her arms up in the air. Her hands hit the ceiling of the treehouse, and she retracted them, rubbing the backs of them. “I get it Serena, needing to prove yourself. Don’t you think I felt that way?” he asked. “I became Alpha younger than almost any other Alpha in history. I had big shoes to fill, and no one to guide me, because my father was dead.” He ended his statement with a growl.
Serena rolled her eyes. “You really don’t get it,” she said. “I had a lot of options to weigh, and none of them were easy. The only thing I could do was cut ties with the pack and make my own way. It was the only way I could ensure that my baby…babies…wouldn’t cost me my career. I wasn’t willing to give up
either.” “That is admiral,” Logan admitted. “But in all that time, you didn’t think about contacting their father? You had the means to run DNA there in your school. You didn’t think that would have been beneficial?”
“Honestly, it wasn’t a priority of mine,” Serena admitted shaking her head again. “I just wanted to give my kids the best like I could. That meant finishing medical school and returning to the pack. I didn’t have time track down the father.” “Track down me,” Logan said pointedly. Serena nodded. “I was busy all the time, exhausted all the time. It was hard enough going through medical school being pregnant, let alone with twins! When I found out I was pregnant
with twins… well, I thought maybe I was making a mistake,” she admitted. “I had to reevaluate what I was going to do.”
“You almost gave up, didn’t you?” Logan asked. Serena nodded. “I almost came running back to the pack, tail between my legs. I found my strength, though,” she said. “When I first held them in my arms, that was when I knew I had made the right choice. I was alone in a hospital, no friends, no family, just my babies. I made a promise to them then, that I would never to anything that would hurt them.”
Logan growled. Serena looked at him, his eyes sharp. He had his arms crossed, and he was getting angry again. Serena didn’t want to tempt the beast, but she had to be completely honest with him this time. “And then what happened?” he asked, clearly picking up on how she thought telling them the truth would hurt them somehow. Serena didn’t care about hurting Logan’s delicate feelings. But she did want to keep him from getting angry again. “I finished medical school, but I didn’t want to go home,” she said. “That was when I got in touch with Adriana and transferred to Night Sky pack. I thought I was escaping a problem by not going home. Instead, I stumbled right into another.” She motioned to Logan. “I don’t understand what you could have been thinking when you didn’t just tell me,” Logan snarled. “Even if you didn’t know the truth, you could have brought up the night we spent here.” “To what end?”
Serena asked. “Would it really have given you any peace of mind to know that we had a one-night stand when I first came to the pack, or would it have raised more questions?”
“I don’t know!” Logan growled, throwing his arms out to the sides. “It would have raised questions,” Serena surmised. “You would have wanted a DNA test, and I wasn’t ready for that. I didn’t know who you were, and I wasn’t going to put my kids in a situation to be hurt!” “I would never hurt them,” Logan argued. “You don’t know that!” she snapped. “I didn’t even know who you were as a person yet! I have to think of my kids first, always. That means I can’t make snap decisions about people I don’t know.” “I had a right to know!” Logan hissed. Serena snorted. “You didn’t!” she hissed. “They are my kids. I birthed them, raised them, protected them. They are my everything.” “Yea, and you did that to yourself!” Logan snapped. Serena bit her lower lip. “I know,” she said. “But it was what was best.” “Best?” Logan snarled. “You think keeping the truth from me, from them, was best?” “Logan, even now, there is no way you can be their father! You are having a baby with
another woman, remember? She will never accept them, therefor the pack will never accept them!” she screamed. “To keep them safe, they can never know!”
Logan shook his head. He didn’t want to believe it. Serena looked away again, calming herself with deep breaths.