Chapter 159 Kaden's POV
I woke slowly, awareness returning in pieces.
Warm I was warm and comfortable for the first time in a week, I had actually slept.
I opened my eyes and found myself pressed against Elara. Both of us naked her scent filling my lungs with every breath.
Last night came back to me the desperate need to be close to her. To scent her to ground myself in the one thing that still made sense when everything else was falling apart.
I had spent hours breathing her in. Committing every part of her scent to memory. Using her presence to keep my wolf from spiraling into complete madness.
And it had worked, the rage that had been consuming me had quieted. The grief was still there but it wasn't destroying me anymore.
I looked at Elara's sleeping face. At the peaceful expression she wore. At the body that had been through so much trauma and was still healing.
And I felt something I hadn't felt in days. Something other than rage and pain.
Desire.
Not the desperate, primal need from last night. This was different from the natural attraction between mates.
My body responded to her proximity to her nakedness pressed against mine to the memory of how she had tasted how she had felt.
But she was still healing, still recovering from surgery and Selena's attack. I couldn't act on this desire and wouldn't risk hurting her.
I carefully extracted myself from her arms and went to the bathroom. I took a long, cold shower to clear my head and calm my body.
When I emerged, Elara was still sleeping. Adrian was beginning to stir in his bassinet.
I dressed quietly and picked up my son before he could cry and wake his mother.
"Good morning," I whispered. "Let's let Mama sleep, she needs it."
I carried Adrian downstairs to the kitchen. Several staff members were already preparing breakfast.
They looked up as I entered and froze. Clearly remembering how I'd been acting for the past week. Snapping at everyone breaking things. Being impossible to deal with.
"Good morning," I said calmly. "I'm making breakfast for my mate don't let me interrupt your work."
They exchanged glances, uncertain.
"Alpha, we can prepare whatever you need-"
"I know but I want to do this myself." I shifted Adrian to one arm and started pulling out ingredients with the other. "Consider it an apology for how I've been treating all of you lately.”
The head cook moved forward hesitantly. "Alpha, we understand you lost your Beta. You were grieving-"
"I was a bastard grief doesn't excuse cruelty.”
I looked at each of them. "I'm sorry for the yelling. For the unfairness for making your lives harder when you were just trying to help. It won't happen again."
The relief on their faces was palpable. "Thank you, Alpha. We accept your apology."
I cooked one-handed, Adrian content to watch from my arm. Eggs, bacon, pancakes all of Elara's favorites.
By the time I finished, Adrian was getting fussy hungry. I carried him and the breakfast tray back upstairs.
Elara was awake, sitting up in bed, looking around in confusion.
"Kaden? Where-"
"Right here. I brought breakfast and our son, who desperately needs his mother."
She took Adrian immediately, bringing him to her breast to nurse. "You cooked again?"
"I did and I owe you an apology."
I set the tray on her lap. "I have been terrible this past week. Taking my grief out on you and everyone else you didn't deserve that."
"You were hurting-"
"I was but that's not an excuse. You've been through just as much trauma as me. More, actually. And you haven't been cruel to anyone.”
I sat beside her on the bed. "I'm sorry. For shutting you out. For pushing you away when you were just trying t for not being the partner you deserve."
Tears filled her eyes. "I missed you the real you not the angry shell you've been."
"I'm back I promise whatever darkness was consuming me, I fought through it. Thanks to you. Your presence your patience your willingness to just be there even when I was being horrible."
She leaned against me carefully, mindful of Adrian between us. "We are a team partners. We get through things together."
"Together," I agreed. "Always together."