Final Farewell

Morning came, and I was awakened by the scent of savory steak passing through my nostrils.

My eyes fluttered open and the first sight was an unknown room which was different from my recollection of books piling on the floor or the lack of them.

Or the bathroom that I last remember before losing consciousness.

The steak I smelled was just next to the bed where I was laid. It was served in a trolley and some garnish that could satiate my appetite. 

There was the sound of humming, a familiar foreign melody that only "she" could sing.

My half body sprung out from the bed and I was greeted by someone crouching on the floor as she was wiping the floor with a rag.

She lifted her head and Lenalee beamed that instant. 

"Good morning, Lady Rosaria."

I was too stunned to move as a tear fell from my eye. I moved out of the bed and wrapped my arms around her.

"Oh Hati, dear Hati! It was all a dream!"

Of course it was! It had to be, Lenalee was right here.

Lenalee giggled as she held my hand. “I am happy that you cared for me, even though I betrayed you.” 

And just like that, the brief happiness dissipated. 

Now, when I think about it. The unknown room didn't look exactly like the bedroom at the mansion but an all-white space that you could see at the hospitals.

She pulled me out of her embrace, her hands moved to my shoulders as her smile brightened.

“I am sorry, Lady Rosaria, but the Lenalee you knew did perish protecting you.”

“N-no,” I whispered as I shook my head. I didn't want to get my heart broken the second time. 

“Even if this is just your dream, I’m sure the real Lenalee would be happy knowing that you still cared for her regardless of the sins she committed for the invasion.”

My body trembled. “But it felt so surreal. Her death…y-your death was so sudden that I—” I couldn’t utter another word as my throat suddenly felt dry.

I started sobbing again as I embraced the fragment of this dream once more. “I’m so sorry that I couldn’t protect you, Lenalee.”

Her hand stroked on my hair. “You know for someone older than me, you acted like a baby. It felt…liberating.”

I looked at her and I could tell that I look hideous with the tear strained on my cheeks and the red puffy eyes I showed to her.

Yet, I couldn’t care less.

“That’s embarrassing for me,” I said as my lips curved slightly into a faint smile. “As an adult, I shouldn’t let a teenager be burden with my problems.”

“Well, I don’t mind being your enabler. I felt I was useful to you.” She guided me to stand up.

“As I said, you were my reminder of my mother and even if it was a short while, I was glad that I was assigned to be your wet nurse.” She wiped the fresh tears on my face.

“I still want you to be my wet nurse," I cried. "You were so young and…and… you had been through a lot before coming here." My eyes grew bigger as a realization sunk in. "Oh Hati, you were so, so, young when they defiled you!"

"That's how life works for victims of the war, Lady Rosaria." It was strange that she continued to smile despite the revelation. "It was a past I couldn't undo."

"Then if I saved you or…or….if Varick showed up sooner, we could have saved you!"

Lenalee shook her head. "No, I knew I wouldn't live to reach fifteen…after all, I would still be executed."

My eyes widened as I gasped. "N-no."

"Lady Rosaria, Lord Varick had to maintain his prestige as the leader. After the invasion, what would the pack think if he would have spared me, an outsider, when his wolves tragically died that day?"

I couldn't answer. 

"Well, I am just your consciousness telling you all these. You knew that the real Lenalee would say the same thing."

I could only lower my head as I bit my lower lip.

"What s-should I do next?" My eyes showed an expression of despair. "What will I do from now on when you're not around anymore?!" I clenched my fists as my heart throbbed from the pain and agony. 

"Why did you need to save me, Lenalee?" My voice quivered.

She didn't say anything for a moment as she stared at the white space. 

"It was stated in the letter," she said as she turned to smile. "It's because I care for you, Lady Rosaria, that's why. And because of that…"

"...You need to live."

My eyes widened in surprise. 

“Now, you have to go on without me around, Lady Rosaria. So, you need to live to remember me. I believe you are the only one in the world who can remember the beta maid, Lenalee. That's why you need to go on with your life."

Suddenly the vision I had became hazy and I knew that I was at the verge of waking up.

"Looks like this would be our official parting, Lady Rosaria."

"No! Please let me stay longer!" I begged as I tried to reach but when my hand passed through her body, I was awestruck.

"Remember, Lady Rosaria, I will continue to watch over you."

"Nooo! Please! Let me stay!" My hands wrapped around what should be a warm body that should give me assurance that she was there.

But I knew deep down that Lenalee here right now was my own way of coping over my grief for her.

Our eyes met and the young  girl grinned.

A child-like grin that I wouldn't have seen when she was alive. 

And I was trying to grasp her as my vision slowly dissipated into darkness.

"Oh, one more thing…congratulations on a new life in you."

And that was the last thing I had seen before I was awakened by someone's voice calling my name. 

====

"Wake up!" 

I jolted up, now fully awakened as I panted with erratic movements. 

I was now back in bed—more specifically the bed I was supposed to lie down as the scent of books and quills made me recognized that I was still in the High Mage's Tower.

Beside the bed, Phineas was looking weary with the huge dark circles underneath his eyes. He sighed in relief when I finally came to. 

"Moon Goddess, do you know you are such a handful, Luna? I would be skin alive by the Alpha Leader if anything happened to you while you're still here!"

"Oh, sorry. I fainted at the bathroom after I vomiting there." My cheeks turned red. 

"Yeah, I saw something I shouldn't see." He rolled his eyes as he continued. "What caused you to take a huge dirt on someone else's bathroom?"

"Well, I felt nauseous all of the sudden…it probably was caused by alcohol!"

"You only drank three shots of red wine," he said, pensively. "In fact, you looked like you could hold your alcohol last night."

Then I felt a gagging feeling and jumped down from the bed and rushed to the bathroom.

"Luna, I just cleaned that—spic and span!" Phineas bellowed from behind as I kneeled down in front of the toilet and puked the content of green bile from the stinging pain of my throat. 

Phineas groaned, clearly disgusted at my shameful act, yet he kneeled beside me and rubbed my back.

"Seriously, no more alcohol for you, Luna. Good lord, you should just ask me to teleport you to a nearby bush."

Panting from the exhaustion, I wobbly stood up while I was being assisted by Phineas, regardless of his scolding.

When he touched me, he immediately flinched, and I was curious how his eyes slowly grew as he stared at me.

“Uhm, L-Lord Phineas?”

Then his lips curved into a huge grin, then he patted my shoulder.

“Great job, Luna. You finally did it.” 

What was he talking about?

Varick happened to pass by and saw us in the bathroom. He was now in his armor, cleaned and polished like something newly made. 

He turned to us, ready to snarl based on the accusation, finger lifted as he marched in our direction.

“Perfect timing, my lord!” Phineas exclaimed, with a wide smile on his face. “You should have sensed it as well!”

He was frozen stiff then approached me with steady movements until he was in a closer distance. 

Confused, I averted his gaze because I was pretty sure these two had gone bonkers from the lack of sleep. 

Then, he did what I didn’t expect him to do.

He knelt before me, and I reflexively backed away from his uncanny behavior.

“V-VARICK?!” Flustered to witness the strongest Alpha in the wolf race kneeling before me, I wasn’t sure how to react.

“Didn’t you feel it at all, church maid?” 

Now, he held my waist, and I swore—and I meant I swore that I could see a tiny smile—only briefly before it disappeared.

“There is our child inside your womb.” My heart raced as I had never seen his gentle way of speaking those words.

“You are finally pregnant with my child.”