Chapter Thirty-Three

Tonight Reed will introduce me to the pack as their Luna. He told me this last night after he wore himself out.

"It's necessary. We already bonded, but you need a proper introduction. It's the right thing to do."

I don't answer him. I couldn't care less. I turn my back to him and switch the bedside lamp off.

He's busy making arrangements and I don't see him. I sit in the dining room, then I sit in the kitchen, then I sit in the library, then I sit in my bedroom. There's nothing I want to do. When I sleep, I dream of Raphas, so I avoid sleeping. Reed is making the most of my insomnia. He's being kind and gentle, but he'll never be Raphas and he knows it. Our relationship is complicated and brittle and one shove and it'll shatter to pieces.

He says things that upset me, but I rarely show it these days. He's always making plans. Endless plans that benefit only him. We'll have pups and name them this and that, we'll make a feast and invite all the neighboring packs, I will host the annual Luna's Banquet. I don't care about any of this. I just agree with him.

"Be more enthusiastic, Bea." He warns. He's been trying to show me that he's in control, and that he makes the decisions and that's starting to upset me.

I bare my teeth at him. "Don't push it, Reed. Let me be." He hushes up instantly and changes the subject. I won't allow him to take any other parts of me. He'll take what I can give him, and that's it.

I rarely see Sylvia these days. She's been hiding from me. I sense that she knows I'm in not in a good place and she's keeping her distance. I'm temperamental and constantly upset. Nothing ever amuses me anymore. Sometimes I miss Raphas so much I scream and never stop.

He'll make the announcement at dinner, but I don't know why he's even bothering. Everyone knows, and a female, one of his whores no doubt, came to me in the morning and congratulated me with a sullen face. I don't know why she bothered, either. I don't need her congratulations. Her presence irritated me and I snapped at her. I don't care what they'll think of me. I'll give them what I can, and that's it.

Reed asks one of them, I forgot her name, to help me with my hair and makeup. I need to look presentable tonight, like a queen. Worthy of him. I didn't know they used makeup around here, but it doesn't surprise me anymore.

She's chatty and it's irritating because I need to focus hard on Raphas, but she keeps distracting me. This must be why Reed chose her. Maybe it's just a coincidence, but he's too calculated and manipulative. I don't believe in his innocence. Raphas was naive and innocent, Reed is another species entirely.

I look at my reflection in the mirror. I do look pretty, she did a fantastic job, but I don't compliment it and I can tell she minds. Then, she helps me pick out a dress. No, scratch that. She does the picking and I do the sitting and staring absently at the wall.

She chooses a black, sparkly dress. It's heavy when I put it on, but it fits me well. Not that I'm too concerned about that. Then, she chooses a pair of heels and accessories and voila, I'm all set and ready to go. I sit by myself in the room after she leaves and I stare at my reflection again. I don't recognize this person staring back at me. Neither does Reed when he finally comes around.

"Stella did a marvelous job." He sounds awed. "You look like a queen."

He grabs my hand.

We descend the stairs and everyone's gathered around the dining room table. I take a seat and so does he, and dinner commences as usual. Before the main dish, clears his throat. He taps a fork against the flute. Everyone pays attention. I think everyone knew today was going to be the day he'd announce me, because everyone's formally dressed like Raphas and I. They must be thinking we're this perfect couple, or maybe not. Walls can be thin and the wind carries conversations. The females all look a little envious, and the males eye me with admiration. They must think I'm privileged and fortunate to be chosen as Luna of a pack. Little do they know that if it were up to me, I would be roaming the woods, hungry and alone, until I found Raphas, and then we'd live in a small cabin of our own and hunt for food every day. I'd give Max a bath in the evenings and we'd make love beneath the sky.

Reed eyes me in warning, but I don't care. What can he possibly do to me here, in front of everyone?

"StoneMoon, I have an important announcement to make." They're eyes go wide and everyone's looking at me now. Reed grabs my hand affectionately and I let him put on his show. "As you all know, Bea has been with us for quite some time. I'd like to thank you all for making her feel welcome, and for helping me court this beautiful woman." I want to snort. The formality is amusing. "I'm happy to announce that Bea has accepted me as her mate, and that I have chosen her to be Luna of StoneMoon."

They all applaud and I suppress the urge to roll my eyes. How lovely. He makes me rise and stand beside him, and he grabs my waist firmly and kisses my cheeks. His lips are cold and his teeth nips my skin. "You promised you'd try." He murmurs against my skin.

"This is my trying."

Reed then introduces his new Beta, but he doesn't carry himself the way Gregory did. I don't comment this, because there's no need to. It's written on my face. "This is Beta Jared, Bea."

I smile a fake smile. "Charmed."

I'm making everyone uncomfortable with my gaze. They must be wondering where the old Bea is, the kind and grateful one that paid compliments for just about everything. Well folks, she's long gone. She's lost in an abyss looking for Raphas.

And she isn't coming back.

Dinner is served. It's steak and potatoes. It makes me think of the deer I had with Raphas almost every night. He was always kissing me and touching me and Reed tries to do the same, but it just isn't it. Physically, it contents me, though. I'm compelled to smile at him and feel giddy at his attention.

I take a few bites of potato and excuse myself. They all watch me leave with confused expressions. I can't take another minute of this performance. I ascend the stairs and make for the bedroom. I take the earrings off and I hang the dress.

When Reed comes in hours later, I keep my eyes screwed shut. He doesn't wake me, just lies next to me and turns his back to me.

I can tell he's disappointed. Good. I am, too.