Chapter 115

Helene.

I was seated by myself on the bench that was only a few feet away from the glittering lake. I decided to come here alone since I needed some time to think to myself and I know that not many people could access this place.

I've had a lot on my mind concerning Hunter since things between us escalated and for some reason, doubt hasn't stopped creeping into the back of my mind like a deadly plague.

I've found myself questioning everything about my relationship with him and every word that came out of his mouth just made me think too hard and I felt like he wasn't being completely honest with me. The fact that I could feel his emotions made things worse for me because every little sense of doubt I got from him fueled my doubt in our relationship and I just can't shake off this feeling of fear and confusion.

"I knew something was going on with you as soon as you declined my invitation to hang out," Dre's familiar voice spoke, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"What are you doing here and how did you find me?" I asked, wondering how long he had been standing there since I hadn't exactly been conscious of my environment for a while now.

"If you think I came here to find you, well let's just say that I had a feeling you'd be here but I was also coming here to have some alone time to myself so that's how I confirmed you were here," he replied before walking to the bench and taking a seat beside me.

"I have a lot on my mind right now so I just wanted to sit by myself for as long as I could and think about certain things that have been bothering me," I explained.

"And what exactly has been bothering you that you can't talk to me about? Since when did you start keeping things from me?" he asked, trying to sound like he was upset but I knew he wasn't.

"I'm not keeping anything from you Dre. I just felt like I needed to think first before saying it out loud just in case it ends up being a ridiculous thought," I replied.

"If whatever is making you think brought you out here, then I'm certain that it is not a ridiculous thought and you know I always advise that you talk about whatever is bothering you to anyone who cares to listen because keeping it all in is never a good idea," he remarked and I sighed.

"I also want to say it out loud but I'm not sure if it's even worth worrying about at all," I mentioned and he scoffed.

"Let me be the judge of that," he retorted.

"Does whatever is bothering you perhaps have something to do with your mate? Did you guys get into a fight or are you having some kind of doubts about your relationship?" he asked and I'm not surprised that Dre finds it easy to just understand my thoughts without me even having to say too much.

"Is it that obvious?" I asked.

"Unfortunately, the only time I get to see this look on your face is when it has something to do with Hunter so it has somewhat become an easy guess," he answered and I sighed.

"To be honest, I'm having doubts and there's just something in my head that keeps telling me that I can't have a happy relationship with Hunter because he's always going to be stuck with the memories of Brenda and I'm always going to have to deal with the fact that I'm just a replacement," I expressed and he frowned.

"Wait, what? Did you just call yourself a replacement? What makes you think so? Has Hunter ever said anything to make you feel like he was never going to get over this and that you're just a replacement for him?" he asked.

"It's not like he has ever said anything like that but I'm just getting this sense of doubt and I can't help it. It's even worse because sometimes I can sense his emotions are all over the place and it just makes me feel worse. I know I'm probably not making any sense at all but it's how I feel at the moment and I'm guessing it may be because I feel partly responsible for their break up and seeing Hunter sad about it just made me start thinking like this," I explained.

I wasn't expecting him or anyone else to understand me because my thoughts were currently complicated and even I did not exactly understand how I felt.

"There a lot of things I understood from what you just said but the first thing I'm going to point out is the fact that you mentioned that you feel like you're partly responsible for the breakup between Hunter and Brenda and if I'm being honest with you, that is the most ridiculous thing that I've ever heard you say. I can understand why you might think so but then again, how can you blame yourself for something that had nothing to do with you?"

"As far as I and everybody else knows, Brenda was a ticking time bomb and sooner or later Hunter was going to finally see with his own eyes that his girlfriend was a crazy woman and he was bound to leave her. She's the one who crossed the line by going that far to try to get rid of you and she finally got a taste of my medicine so how is it your fault at all? You shouldn't think like that because it has nothing to do with you," Dre responded, attempting to make me see reason.

"It's a lot easier to say that than to believe it, Dre. I feel like I would have easily believed that I had nothing to do with it and it wasn't my fault in any way but Hunter is kind of making me feel partly responsible I know he's not doing it on purpose but the little things that I sent from him just make me feel this way," I explained.

He sighed. "I know you're no expert in relationships but you need to understand that Hunter had a very meaningful relationship with Brenda and he genuinely cared for her. You may be thinking that he's regretting ending things with her or feels bad about ending things with her but he's probably just sad that things ended nastily between them. You can't expect him to be perfectly fine after ending a relationship of over ten years in a flash,"

"He's going to need a while to finally accept the situation and come to terms with the fact that he could not save Brenda from herself and that their relationship was bound to end anyway. Now, this doesn't mean that he doesn't care about you or like you but let's face facts here, you like him more than he likes you and it's going to take a short while for your feelings for each other to balance out," he responded honestly and I appreciated the fact that he didn't sugarcoat things.

I was well aware of the fact that I liked Hunter more than he liked me and even though it saddened me a little, I could understand why that was the case but I guess I'm just hoping for some kind of reassurance that my feelings won't always be superior to his.

"I guess it's fine then. The only thing I can do now is wait patiently for him to finally get over her completely and then I'll see how things go between us," I said, hoping that we could change the topic since I wasn't interested in talking about this anymore.