Chapter 70 Borrowed Love
Aileen's POV
"Where are you? We need to talk.”
Tristan's words played over and over in my head. It didn't sound like a ‘I'm happy to spend time with you’ but I quickly pushed it aside because with everything that was going on, it was obvious he was stressed…everyone was.
"Or that's just what you're telling yourself?” A small voice at the back of my head murmured which I ignored as I quickly got into the shower, letting the water wash away my doubts. And once I was done, I chose a bum short and a crop top I knew was going to drive him insane, then I waited for him.
For some reason, I felt my hand trembling and I was tempted to mindlink the girls, maybe they'd say something that will make me laugh and remind me that it was only Tristan, the man who would do anything to make me smile, who made me feel safe, who made me feel like loving someone without a bond was possible. But I didn't, I was certain it was my insecurities talking.
A small knock on the door jolted me back to the present and a frown appeared on my face.
“Who's that?" I wondered because Tristan doesn't knock, he lets himself in. The only thing that was remaining was for him to actually move in.
But as I moved towards the door, his familiar scent filled my nostrils, causing my frown to deepen.
“The door is open, why didn't you just come in?" I asked, immediately I swung the door wide open, and my eyes landed on him.
His eyes were swollen as if he hadn't gotten more than two hours of sleep in the whole of this week. And like I've been doing for the past fifteen minutes, I pushed away the uneasiness I felt but nevertheless, took his hand and his eyes rested on it but he didn't say anything.
“Are you okay? You're acting strange." I asked. We made our way into the room, slamming the door behind us. "Is it the report? I heard the girls talking about it and I figured out you need a distraction. Am I not the best girlfriend you can ask for?” I continued, leaning in to kiss him but before my lips could touch his own, he put some space between us.
It felt like a bowl of extremely cold water was being poured over me, a look of horror appeared on my face as I put two and two together and his behavior suddenly made sense. My eyes rested on our joined hand and instead of the usual sparks, it felt like I was touching something hot. I snatched my hand away, taking a step back.
“Leena…” He started, moving closer but I didn't want to hear it.
My chest tightened as I took another step backward. I didn't know what to feel. I knew this day was going to come, I knew that it was going to hurt but nothing prepared me for this type of pain that felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest.
His eyes that used to look at me with so much love, now held guilt.
Before I could process it, I dashed towards the bathroom, locking the door behind and resting my back against it. And only then did I allow myself to cry, the tears streaming down my face.
“Leena, I'm sorry." He apologized.
I wasn't sure which one I hated more, that he was apologizing for something he had no control over, that I still wanted to be in his arms.
"When did you find her?” The words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it. "Leena…don't." My wolf said, her voice sounded broken too. Even though he wasn't our mate, we both felt connected to him. “You really don't want to do that."
"Is that why you were avoiding me all week?” I continued, ignoring my wolf and setting myself up for heartbreak.
“Fuck no, Leena." His voice sounded pained, "I swear, I just met her today.”
"Did it make me feel better? Fuck no!”
Several thoughts went through my mind, I'm sure the moon goddess was having fun watching me suffer. "I want to be alone right now.” My voice barely above a whisper and even without looking at him, I could tell he was running a hand through his hair.
"Leena, please let's talk." He pleaded but I didn't trust myself to not break down in front of him.
“Leave." I repeated, my voice a bit higher this time.
I heard his footsteps pacing in front of the door before he finally left, my bedroom door slamming behind him as fresh tears streamed down my face. I wasn't sure how long I was in the bathroom for, my arms wrapped around my knees and my face was buried between them…I probably dozed off…definitely did because the moment I opened my eyes, I was lying on the bed and the girls were looking down at me with sympathy in their eyes.
"You're awake.” Alyssa said, helping me sit upright. "I met Tristan and he told me.” She added before I could ask how she knew.
"I'm so sorry.” Aria said, like it was her fault that the moon goddess was being unfair.
I shook my head, "it's not your fault.” I told her. "We knew it was going to happen.”
"That doesn't make it any better and it's okay to be hurt.” Alyssa said, bringing me into a much needed hug, causing the tears I was desperately trying to hold in, to come pouring down.
“I feel like a selfish person,” I cried, "I want him to choose me. I don't know her, but a part of me hates her even though it's not her fault."
Alyssa snorted, “it means you're perfectly normal." She said, “it’s okay to feel that way…you love him. And if it makes you feel better, he looked terrible when I saw him.”
It did make me feel better even though I knew she was only saying it to make me feel better but I love the idea of not being the only person going through some kind of pain.
The girls stayed with me, doing their best to make me feel better. But nothing was working, all I could think of was if he was with his mate, if he was holding her the same way he used to hold me. If she was beautiful and that felt like torture.
But I guess that was my life now.